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Shame Caused by the Abuse of Power Must Be Redirected to the Perpetrators

Shame Caused by the Abuse of Power Must Be Redirected to the Perpetrators

Shame caused by the abuse of power. A brave conversation which does include references to child sexual abuse.

In this episode of the Power Of Women Podcast, Di Gillett speaks with Dr Martina Zangger about childhood abuse, the psychology of shame, and the long path to healing.

Growing up in Basel, Switzerland, Martina’s childhood appeared privileged. The reality was abuse by powerful men within her own family – men who were respected pillars of society. Men whom should know better, be better, do better.

Disclosure did not happen until she was 27.

We also hear about Martina’s extraordinary experience having spent a decade in the infamous Rajneesh cult in the United States.

Now a psychotherapist and author of Not My Shame, Martina’s life work focuses on shifting shame back to where it belongs. – to the perpetrators.

 

➡️You’ll Hear :

Why shame attaches to survivors.

The common traits of perpetrators.

Why disclosure often takes decades.

The psychology of cult power dynamics.

How women move from silence to authorship.

 

Powerful quotes from Dr Martina Zangger:

“I believe that shame must change sides.”

“It took until I was 27 to disclose the abuse.”

“We can heal and we will have relief from the damage of abuse.”

👉 Read the full transcript of this conversation here

FULL TRANSCRIPT_DR MARTINA ZANGGER

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (00:02)

So I believe that my purpose in life is to hold rage in one hand and hope in the other. And that gives me the energy to do the work I do. I walk along victims’ survivors on their journeys of healing. And I need that rage and hope to continue. Also, I believe that shame must change sides.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (00:31)

if shame was never yours to carry? And what if shame belongs unequivocally with those who cause harm, not with those who survive it? I’m Di Gillett and this is the Power of Women podcast. And what I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience and achievements of women from all walks of life.

 

Through revealing lived experience, it becomes a chorus of wisdom that makes sure women are seen not just for what we do, but for who we are. But before I begin, and as Hannah Asafiri has so rightly pointed out on this podcast in previous episodes, life doesn’t come with a trigger warning. However, this episode includes references to sexual abuse, so please

 

take care whilst listening. And let’s start with this point today as we kick off the conversation because it’s not designed to shock, provoke, or re-traumatise. It is designed to reframe, to shift shame back to where it belongs, to talk about survival without sanitizing it, and to name patterns, particularly narcissistic abuse.

 

So hopefully women can see them sooner, trust themselves more readily, and hopefully, where possible, leave earlier. And speaking out can be a key part of healing, which is exactly what today’s guest is doing. Martina Zangger, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (02:14)

Thank you so much for having me Di

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (02:17)

Martina, I’m going to jump around a little bit today and we had a bit of a exploratory discussion before Christmas, before we decided to record this episode. And there are some dark aspects of this conversation, but there’s also such a richness of lived experience that I’d love to understand today. But I think what we need to do is frame the very beginning and

 

⁓ and allow our listeners to understand some context. Are you comfortable with us doing that?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (02:54)

Yes very much so Di.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (02:56)

Okay, lovely. So I want to know about your childhood because from the outside, anybody looking at it, it would have looked safe, but the reality behind closed doors was a very, very different thing. Where did you grow up?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (03:14)

So I grew up in a small town in Switzerland called Basel, which is on the German and French border in the north. I grew up in a well-to-do household with a mother and father and two older brothers. Everything looked normal, yet underneath it all, were very, very… ⁓ It was a dangerous childhood.

 

and there were terrible things happening in both in our home and in the home that I was left in, my grandparents’ home, many times, probably every two, three weeks for two or three days. And that was my grandparents’ home was where I was sexually abused by my grandfather and by my uncle.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (04:05)

What do you most want people to understand about that time, Martina?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (04:11)

I think it’s really important to know that these were ordinary men. In fact, they were highly regarded citizens in our society, in the Swiss society. My grandfather was a high court judge and academic, and my uncle was a beloved politician and barrister. So they were well regarded men. They were men that were looked up to.

 

and yet behind closed doors they turned into something quite different.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (04:46)

and nobody would have had any idea and it would have been hard to actually be believed given their standing in the community.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (04:54)

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And this is why it took such a long time for me to disclose it. It took until I was 27 to disclose the abuse. And it happened, it happened between age two and age six. Yeah.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (05:14)

And you’ve decided to now put pen to paper and you’ve written your memoir touching on this. Why now, Martina?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (05:27)

I was really ready now because I had, in 2010 I had finished my PhD, which was on sexual assault and the legal system. I was teaching at Newcastle University and I was an academic there. And once I finished my PhD, I thought, I never wanna write an academic paper again. It’s so stifling.

 

we are straight jacketed as academics and we can’t say what we really want to say. And so after I finished my PhD, I became ready then to start creative writing, which is what I pursued then. I was still teaching, but I was no longer writing the PhD or journal articles that were academic yet.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (06:23)

What year did you land in Australia? Because you grew up in Switzerland. What year did you, did you immigrate?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (06:29)

I

 

came to Australia in 1975 when I was 14 years old.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (06:34)

Okay, and we’ll come back because there’s a couple of moves there about that. But what actually triggered the immigration to Australia?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (06:47)

So in my hometown Basel were all the big pharma factories. So there was Roche, Sandoz, Seabar, Guygee and all the people in that town worked for one of the big pharma companies. My dad worked for big pharma and he was ⁓ given a promotion to ⁓ lead the company in Australia and Asia.

 

and that is how we moved to Australia.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (07:21)

And was that break in moving countries the break in the abuse?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (07:27)

Yes, it was, absolutely. Because at that time, I was no longer abused by my grandfather who had passed away or by my uncle who got married, but by a 17 year old who abused me for a couple of years between ages 12 and 14. And one of the big benefits of moving to Australia was that then the abuse stopped.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (07:55)

Okay, so there was a physical break point that allowed that to take place.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (08:05)

Yes, I it was amazing. I remember when my dad told us that we’re moving to Australia, my first thought was, my god, this is so great because I’m going to be free of the sexual abuse. Because I just did not know how to disclose it or how to be assertive and say to this guy, I don’t like it. I don’t want to see you anymore. I had no words. I was very unassertive.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (08:31)

Had you declared it to your parents?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (08:34)

No, I didn’t declare it until I was 27.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (08:40)

and from the work that you have done post PhD and in your studies, I suspect that is not uncommon.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (08:51)

It’s absolutely the most common ⁓ time frame when victims disclose it takes on average 25 years. I’ve worked with women, I recently have worked with a beautiful ⁓ older lady who is 85 and she is seeing me for counselling because her father sexually abused her. She has never told anyone until she turned 85.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (09:20)

Go to heavens.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (09:21)

So it takes much courage and time before victim survivors can disclose.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (09:30)

So you referenced about this 85 year old woman that you’re coaching at the moment. I suspect her non-disclosure at an earlier age was purely a generational thing.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (09:46)

Not purely, because even now there are victims who will never disclose. Even now there are young children who will never ever disclose. And that is such a tragedy because if we don’t disclose, we can’t heal. Because we can’t heal in isolation. We heal when we tell someone and the other person believes us.

 

If we don’t tell, we can’t heal.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (10:17)

So are young children more or less inclined to disclose in current day by contrast to when you grew up?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (10:27)

Yes, they are much more likely to disclose. And when I worked in sexual assault services in rural and regional New South Wales, had at least ⁓ two thirds of our caseload was children and adolescents. So there are more and more kids and adolescents disclosing much earlier because there’s more education in schools about ⁓

 

being safe about consent and about sexual abuse and what ⁓ sexual abuse actually is. So children are now more likely to disclose, however many still don’t.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (11:12)

So is that about awareness, not confidence? That is, the children are more aware, they’re not necessarily more confident, they’re just more aware?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (11:22)

They’re more aware and they, if they have one safe person in their life, whether that’s mum or an auntie or a teacher or a best friend, they are more likely to disclose if they have a safe person in their lives. Yeah.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (11:42)

And you referenced off camera before about a particular Australian lawyer that you follow.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (11:49)

Yes, so I follow him on Instagram. He’s a Victorian lawyer and every day he posts the figures of child sexual abuse cases in court across Australia. And what he has found is that at least 25 % of all criminal cases that occur in courts across Australia are child sexual abuse cases.

 

which is just heartbreaking.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (12:20)

It absolutely is. And I suspect there are only the numbers that make it to court because somebody’s called it out. That doesn’t speak to the hidden abuse that is still ongoing or has taken place.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (12:35)

Yes, it’s

 

heartbreaking. But we’re doing much better education of kids, even little kids in preschools are getting information that they need so that they can disclose if anything ever happens to them.

 

which is wonderful.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (12:56)

It is, absolutely. Are we at risk that ⁓ an advanced thinking child might weaponize that or does that not happen?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (13:08)

I it happens. Yeah, I don’t think that happens. ⁓ Maybe one in a hundred. I know I’ve worked as a sexual assault ⁓ psychotherapist for 28 years. I would have maybe five in that time, five clients where I thought something doesn’t add up. But that’s out of hundreds.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (13:10)

can go on.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (13:35)

So yes it may happen maybe less than 1 % would fall asleep.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (13:41)

shitty lawyer using using it as their their lame defense to the perpetrator.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (13:47)

Yes.

 

Or someone that’s extremely unwell or someone who perhaps has a mother that is coaching them to say that. But I need to stress that is less than 1%. Disclosures. People often say, I mean, they’re called, ⁓ you’re a liar. that’s liars are only less than 1%. Yeah.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (14:02)

Also. Yeah, okay.

 

extraordinary lot. I think we’ve put that one to bed. So looking at shame and we talked about shame in the introduction and I’d like to go there in some detail if we could. It’s one of the most persistent burdens that a survivor carries even though logically it should belong to the abuser not to the victim. Why

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (14:18)

Yeah.

 

Yes.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (14:46)

does it attach itself so strongly to the person who’s been abused rather than the perpetrator?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (14:55)

Yeah, that’s such a tragedy because it keeps victim survivors silent. But it’s basically because the perpetrator uses power and control. The perpetrator always has more power. And therefore, they make the child or the young person or their wife or partner feel you are nothing, you are nobody, no one will believe you.

 

You are crazy and they themselves elevate themselves a bit like my grandfather and uncle. I am a pillar of society and no one will believe you. And that’s what I believed for 27 years. And it’s true, like some people did not believe me. Many people go, no, that can’t be true.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (15:48)

Were your perpetrators still alive when you called them out?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (15:54)

My uncle was, my grandfather had died.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (15:58)

How does that sit?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (16:00)

I will, I mean they have both passed away now and I feel freer for it and I feel happy that they can’t abuse any other kids. That’s the main thing I think. ⁓ I did confront my uncle, of course he denied it and perpetrators always deny it because the very thing that allows them to perpetrate abuse also allows them to lie.

 

and continue to try and use power over a victim survivor.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (16:33)

hence why it’s so difficult to shift that blame back to them from yourself. It really takes an intervention from somebody else to call it out and shift the blame.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (16:47)

Yeah, I remember when I was 20, I was probably 28 or 29, I decided I had this brainwave. I’d been in therapy for a couple of years and I said to my therapist, I’ve got a really great idea. I’m going to write to my uncle and confront him and then he’s going to say, sorry. And I believed that he would because I was still very naive and not as well informed as I am now. And she said,

 

let’s slow it down, I think we need to plan for this and think about it. But it was one of the times when I would not listen to her. I loved her, she was amazing, but I was like, no, I’m gonna do it. And I went home and I wrote that letter. We didn’t have email yet. I wrote the letter and I copied, made like, I think five copies for my parents, my aunt and my two brothers.

 

And I sent those to ⁓ those people and my uncle, I waited and waited for him to write back to me hoping he would say, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. But of course he wrote back in his lawyerly ⁓ version of events saying, you have always been unstable. We know that you are crazy. You belong in a psychiatric hospital.

 

and I never touched a hair on your head. And if you continue to say this, I will prosecute you. And it sent me spiralling down for probably about six months. I was gutted. And I thought, you know, I went back to my therapist and I said, I should have listened to you. It was the worst idea for me to do that.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (18:41)

But did it then galvanise you after you hit rock bottom to go, I’m coming after you?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (18:49)

It did, absolutely. Yeah, I got strong again, but it took a while.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (18:51)

yet.

 

I can imagine. And there’s no guarantee that you can bounce back from that. That is an awful, awful thing to experience. I’m so sorry. Yeah.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (19:06)

Thank you. I’m fine now.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (19:10)

Your strength in talking about this suggests that you’ve got the upper hand in this story now. So, but if at any time this feels uncomfortable, you let me know. So, yeah. So women listening who are carrying trauma, Martina, without going into the clinical depths, because I appreciate you are now well,

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (19:25)

I

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (19:39)

educated in this. Could you talk us through what healing tends to involve?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (19:47)

Yeah, healing. ⁓ Healing involves, first of all, finding a safe person that will believe you and support you through the healing journey, who will walk alongside you, whether that’s a sister, a therapist, a mum, or an auntie, someone who is believing and supportive.

 

can be difficult for some people to find. Sometimes they have grown up in families where there is no safe person.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (20:25)

Is it a coincidence that you’ve called out only female profiles or is that how it always plays out in terms of finding that safe person? Could that-

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (20:37)

Yeah, of course it could. Of course it could. I should have said that. It may be a male therapist. It may be a brother. Yeah, absolutely. A best friend. Yeah.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (20:47)

Okay, yeah. I think it’s probably important that we share that that be the case. We’re not pointing the finger at all men. ⁓

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (21:03)

Many men are very, very supportive and for example my husband who I’ve been with for 35 years, he has been my greatest support and has always believed me and believed in me.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (21:19)

Yeah, there we go. That’s a powerful thing to point out.

 

So I’d like to talk in a little bit more depth about perpetrators and there’s growing awareness that many abusers share common traits, particularly narcissistic behaviors. And there’ll be a crossover in DV in this as well. When you look at the work that you’ve done, are there similarities

 

in how perpetrators operate.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (21:58)

there are definitely similarities and there, I’ve talked about this a little bit earlier, they enjoy using power and control. They do not have empathy for their victims and that allows them to continue to perpetrate abuse, whether that’s domestic violence or sexual abuse or homicide. know, women,

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (22:08)

They have.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (22:27)

I think last year 75 women were killed in Australia by partners or ex-partners. they have this in common that they, yes, they have not, they do not have empathy for their victims or for their victims loved ones who are also damaged of course.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (22:38)

Thanks.

 

And we’ve already seen those numbers start to rise for 2026 already. haven’t got our processes in place to keep everybody safe yet.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (22:54)

Absolutely.

 

No, no,

 

and we keep, you know, I’m on my soapbox a bit, we put, ⁓ for example, people who have addictions, who have stolen a car and ⁓ been speeding, we put them in jail for five years. We put perpetrators of sexual abuse in jail for 18 months, if that, for six months.

 

or we give them good behaviour bonds or we let them out early for good behaviour. So the consequences are not the same as they are for other crimes that are far less harmful to the population.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (23:46)

They’re

 

certainly not aligned to the gravity of what they have perpetrated against somebody else. It wouldn’t be uncommon for survivors to say, know, what drew them to me? Why me? Was this my fault? I suspect self-blame is a big part of what a victim faces.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (24:16)

Yes, self-blame is something I always challenge. And I know for me, I felt a lot of self-blame. I’m crazy, I’m unhinged. I was crazy because I was sexually abused. And once I dealt with it, I was not, I realized I’m not crazy. was just deeply, deeply traumatized. You know, there’s the victim blaming typical, what was she wearing? Why were you out?

 

Yes. I was wearing pink pyjamas. I was wearing nappies. People of any age can get sexually abused. They might be wearing ⁓ a hospital gown.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (25:06)

Do we victim blame? What is behind that?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (25:08)

Because

 

we don’t want to know the truth about what happens behind closed doors. don’t want to, know, men still have the power. Men, we’re still living under a patriarchy where men have the power and we don’t, we’re scared to give women power. You know, it’s the, even the, the old story of Eve was made from Adam’s rib. No.

 

Adam was made from Eve’s womb. But we want to believe that it’s men that are the creators of everything, that are the powerful and smart ones.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (25:52)

That being said, are women ever the abusers?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (25:58)

Yes, are. can ⁓ be.

 

Yes, a small percentage of abusers are women and I think it’s really important to say that and to be aware of that. I have worked with ⁓ hundreds of sexually abused children and adults and probably perhaps 3 % have been ⁓ girls and women that have abused those people. So 3 to 5 %

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (26:31)

than I thought. Yeah. It’s higher than I thought. Yeah. And is that also about power?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (26:37)

Yes, it’s about power and control, same thing. Yeah. And it’s just as damaging ⁓ as if it was a boy or man.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (26:47)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (26:50)

I know we’ve seen that in the news this week haven’t you? We have. female teacher.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (26:56)

Yes,

 

that’s what prompted my question. Yeah. You’re listening to the Power of Women podcast and I’m talking with Dr. Martina Zenger who is a victim of child sexual abuse. And coming up, we’re going to hear about how she ends up at the infamous Rajneesh cult in the US.

 

If you’re loving the Power of Women podcasts, be sure to jump onto our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode. Martina, many of my contemporaries will remember the Raj Nish movement and I do. was working in retail as a recent fashion graduate and I can remember this group of individuals.

 

constantly coming into my store, buying up everything that ever hit the racks that was in orange. And that was my first exposure. And it just seemed like this strange anomaly. But I remember the orange robes, I remember the Rolls Royces, and there was that infamous 60 minutes episode where one of the spokespeople for the cult said,

 

when challenged in an interview, they said tough titties and that was spoken by a woman. And that resonated and sticks in my mind from the time. And it was framed as a provocative counter-cultural, even a glamorous cult at that stage. I right in?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (28:23)

Yes

 

Yes, was a bit like a rock star. He was a very infamous, charismatic rock star guru.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (28:47)

Mmm.

 

There’s going to be an intersection here in what we’ve talked about previously about narcissistic behavior. I would suspect, yeah. So you encountered the Raj Nish at 19. Could you talk us through that and what you were looking for that led to that encounter?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (29:02)

Yes, very.

 

Yes.

 

Yes, so I had been very lost. I’d been to uni and dropped out in my first semester because I believed I was stupid, I can’t cope, I couldn’t handle adult life. I had no skills to handle adult life. So I was kind of drifting, working any job that I could get.

 

being a cleaner in a factory, working at Piermont fish markets, working as an assistant to a sports photographer, ⁓ working in a nursing home as an assistant in nursing, a sandwich hand. One job after another, ⁓ absolutely lost young woman between 17 and 19.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (30:04)

after another.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (30:13)

I then went and lived on a commune in the bush and I attended in Australia, yes. And at that commune, I attended a rebirthing workshop, which I wouldn’t really recommend people do. at that rebirthing workshop,

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (30:22)

Yeah.

 

even at saying that. mean we’ve seen more recent TV shows with Nine Perfect Strangers I think is the one that resonates in my mind now of how wrong that can go.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (30:50)

It

 

can go very wrong. I attended that workshop and I met a couple there who were Rajneeshis. They were wearing pink and red and purple and orange. They were wearing their necklaces, their beaded necklaces with the locket of his photo around their necks. And they gave me one of his books and that particular book was called My Way.

 

The Way of the White Clouds. And I read that book. They were going to, two days later they were travelling to America to live on his ashram, which was a 64,000 acre ashram in Oregon. Massive.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (31:38)

65,000 acre. I come from the country. I understand land math. That is enormous.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (31:43)

enormous, enormous. And so they looked so blissful. They were amazing. I just looked up to them, admired them, and I wanted what they had. I wanted that confidence, that smiling piece that detached happiness because I had none of that. So I devoured the book and

 

I devoured it in 24 hours and then decided I’m going to become a Rajneji too. And I moved back to Sydney to live near the ashram. They had an ashram in Darlinghurst. Yes, yeah, there was an ashram on the street.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (32:25)

is that right?

 

The

 

disenfranchised is such a successful strategy. There it is, laid bare.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (32:37)

Yes,

 

yes. I was so naive and I was such a needy young woman looking for, ⁓ looking to be saved by someone or something because I could not help myself.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (32:53)

Wow. And you then went to the US yourself?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (32:58)

I did, yes, so I had to save up madly because you had to have, it was an expensive cult to be part of.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (33:07)

You had to sustain this huge acreage.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (33:10)

Exactly. So we had to pay $8,000 to be there for a year. And that year we’re in 1981. So that was a lot of money in 1981. There was no way I could save that up doing making sandwiches.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (33:22)

That’s all.

 

You’ve been doing all of these odd jobs

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (33:33)

Yes, so I met another Rajneeshi. She lived across the road from me in Darlinghurst and she said, yes, I said to her, I need to make money because I want to go and live over there, which all of us wanted to do. That was the Holy Grail to live with him. And she said, ⁓ I’ve got a really great idea for you. I work in a brothel.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (33:41)

I they even existed.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (34:02)

and they’re always looking for people. It’s the easiest job in the world. Why don’t you try it? And I thought, yep, I’m going to do it. She said, you can make $500 a night. And that was in 1981.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (34:18)

The price of sex, it’s an expensive pursuit.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (34:22)

Yes. I went the next day for an interview and I was a real hippie. I didn’t wear makeup. had, I remember the ⁓ guy who interviewed me, he was a lovely gay guy and he said, just take off your clothes. Let me have a look at you. Cause I was wearing like baggy. ⁓ And I took my clothes off and I remember I was wearing like really sad, baggy cotton undies.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (34:43)

Big deal.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (34:52)

And he just shook his head. He goes, you’ve got to go and go next door and buy some really nice lingerie from, what was it called? ⁓ It’ll come to me. It was a really fancy, ⁓ the house of Maryvale. It was a few doors down in Pitt Street, yeah, in the city of Sydney.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (35:08)

Good heavens. Yes. It was next door to the house.

 

Angel Bar, House of Maryvale, right in the centre of town. Those who aren’t necessarily from Australia or Sydney-siders, the positioning of that is like centre of town anywhere in the world.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (35:22)

Right in the center. ⁓

 

center

 

of town exactly. And so he said go and get yourself some lingerie and this will be your uniform and you can start tomorrow.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (35:46)

Mind you, that is bloody expensive lingerie for somebody with no money who’s had odd jobs and is trying to look good for a stranger. mean… ⁓

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (35:57)

Absolutely, it killed my bank account. Yeah

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (36:01)

I have no doubt.

 

There’s so many things wrong with that story, Martina. It’s like… So many things wrong with it.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (36:08)

you

 

Yes, so I started working there the following day. I was scared but so desperate to get to America, to the Guru that that overrode everything. It overrode my sense of this is dangerous, I’m scared.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (36:35)

So how long did you work at the brothel before you made that money?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (36:41)

Yeah, so I worked there for 18 months. I could have saved it up much quicker, but I then went on spending sprees because having all that money was so, it was so infectious and addictive that I would, you know, I would see a purple satin maxi dress halter neck and go, I want that. And I would buy it at the house of Maryvale.

 

⁓ I was having expensive hairdos and I was all of that stuff because I was young and silly. I wanted those things. So that’s why it took much longer than it should have. I was sending 10 to 20 percent of my income to the ashram, ⁓ which was what we were, it was tithing. It was tithing a bit like in churches where you tithe 10 percent of your income.

 

So that also drained the funds significantly. And I did workshops, I did these stupid Rajneesh workshops that were supposed to heal us. And they were expensive too. So yes, took a bit longer than I…

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (38:02)

So what year did you land at the ashram?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (38:07)

I

 

think it was 1982. 1982, yes.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (38:10)

Yeah, right

 

What a very different contrast in what I was doing to the journey you were going through. But so many people be able to put a line in the sand and say, what did my life look like at that point in time? And it’s such a contrast. So you got there in 1982. How long before the penny dropped that this whole thing was a ruse?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (38:38)

Yeah, look, unfortunately it took eight whole years and it’s a bit like a bad marriage. I stayed in it hoping that things would get better. I stayed because I was committed to this path, this spiritual path that I believed would heal me. I believed that if I was on this path, I never had to

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (38:50)

in beta.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (39:07)

deal with my past with the sexual abuse, I would just be magically healed by the Guru and by the

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (39:14)

Did it ever come up in any of your workshops? it ever?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (39:17)

It did actually, but then I would just push it down. I would push it down very quickly. I did. You did. I did, yeah. And they, I mean, they would have too, but I would come up and I would just say, no, don’t talk about it.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (39:23)

You did all they did.

 

Yeah. Do you know why?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (39:39)

Shame. Again, was the shame. I’m dirty. I’m damaged goods. I’m a mess. I’m fucked up.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (39:47)

Yeah.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (39:49)

Yeah,

 

I wanted to be this spiritual shiny girl.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (39:54)

Yeah. So how did you, what was the tipping point to say this is not right and how did you extract yourself from that incredibly powerful hold that they had over you? Yeah.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (40:11)

So when I first got there I was so excited but very quickly I realized things are not ⁓ gonna be as I imagined them to be. So I was driven by a lovely Rajneesh man to my new home which was a little cute, the cutest little A-frame.

 

wooden A-frame and I just thought my god I’m going to be so happy here. But when I went into the A-frame I realised I had to share it with two other people. It was a tiny room, a tiny room with three mattresses on the floor with hardly any room to between the mattresses to walk and that was my home for 18 months and we had to work seven days a week

 

12 hours a day, there was no day of rest, no day for fun. ⁓ And I worked as a member of the pipe crew, was called the pipe crew, was, we were digging ditches in the desert, the Oregonian desert. And the ditches were like quite thin ditches and we laid irrigation pipes.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (41:29)

I was going to say you were doing the work to sustain the property.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (41:34)

Absolutely. We growing all the vegetables, all the fruit, all the trees. And I was shocked that I was so shocked. It was a hard job. Like digging with a pickaxe is really hard. A pickaxe and a shovel. So yes, it was a…

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (41:55)

He

 

was on to a good thing while it lasted. Bloody hell! Yeah!

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (42:01)

And the reason I finally left there, I just want to add one thing before that. He was at that time in silence, so he didn’t speak. He used to give sermons, but he had stopped speaking publicly because he said, I’ve said everything I need to say and I’m tired of talking, so I’m not talking. instead of talking.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (42:25)

Before

 

I’m gonna get myself into more litigious shit if I keep going

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (42:31)

Yes, absolutely. So at that time, we only saw him at what was called drive-by, which was he would drive past us in one of his 84 Rolls Royces every day after lunch. And we would line up on the side of the road. 2,000 followers would line up with our hands in namaste and wait for him to drive by and

 

look at us and wave at us and we would jump up and down, we would play musical instruments and be so excited to see him.

 

Yes.

 

Adoring. Thank God it ended. eventually he went back to India because he was deported from America. He went back to India to his original ashram and I went there three times in the time that I was part of the Rajneesh movement. The third time I went

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (43:39)

Is that what happened?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (43:58)

there was a really tragic event which actually allowed me to leave him and break up with the cult. And that was that his girlfriend, he had had this girlfriend called Vivek, a beautiful, beautiful English woman who had been his girlfriend since she was 18. She was the person I most aspired to be.

 

I thought she was the luckiest woman alive because she lived with him. She was always in the Rolls Royce with him in the front seat, the passenger seat. And yet there was a deep unhappiness in her and she actually died by suicide while I was there in India. The poor, poor woman. And he ⁓ told us we were not allowed to go to the funeral. She had done the most…

 

the most ⁓ gutless thing anyone could do and we would not speak about her again. is how he framed it. And that woke me up. just went, I am so angry that no one has compassion for this poor, beautiful woman, Vivek.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (45:14)

Was

 

there age power play in this? How old was

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (45:16)

Oh god yeah.

 

She would have been, she would have been 25 and he would have been 50.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (45:25)

So it’s exactly where we started the conversation.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (45:29)

Yes, exactly.

 

And it was that day that I went into town, into Pune, and I bought my ticket home and I left the cult and I changed my name back to Martina. Yeah, from India. And that was it. I never looked back.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (45:49)

How will?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (45:49)

Yeah,

 

that was, I was 27. So I was a Rajneji from 19 to 27. It’s a long time.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (46:00)

No wonder you had to write a memoir, Martina, because there is a lot of lived experience to put down, but it’s the same thread. It’s the same repetitive thread just in different settings. mean, it’s movie worthy. It’s extraordinary.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (46:24)

Yes, yeah if anyone wants to know more about the cult there’s a really good Netflix series called Wild Wild Country and it’s really worth watching because it’s about the ashram in Oregon the $64,000, $64,000 acre ashram. yeah it’s worth watching.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (46:43)

Yeah. Yeah, right.

 

Say that title again for us.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (46:50)

Wild, wild country. W-I-L-D, yeah, wild, wild country. It’s actually not completely, ⁓ it’s still the people that they interview ⁓ are all people that still love the Guru. So it’s skewed towards.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (47:13)

So is it documentary?

 

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (47:16)

It’s a documentary which has some propaganda but you can also see through it. Yeah, but the Rajneeshis, their interview are still Rajneeshis. I wish they had also interviewed… No, he passed away. He passed away. They don’t know. They said, I think they said heart failure but some people say he also… ⁓

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (47:22)

Okay.

 

He’s no longer with us.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (47:46)

⁓ He chose euthanasia and that his doctor gave him a lethal injection. But I don’t know.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (47:57)

So without going into detail, there’s often solidarity in ⁓ women in marginalised or high risk environments, which is what I suspect you found in the sex work. Absolutely. again, in the cult. Very much so.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (48:18)

Yes,

 

it’s a absolutely.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (48:21)

call it a cult. What

 

from your personal and professional experience matters so much about this camaraderie that you find in these most extraordinary settings?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (48:36)

Yes, I mean the women at the brothel, were beautiful to me. They were just lovely because I was younger than them and they were much more experienced at their work than I was. They took me under their wing and I loved being around them. They were very funny. They they looked out for each other. They looked out for me. I looked out for them as well.

 

And I’ve always loved women ⁓ and felt very comfortable with women. I just felt very at home with them and cared for. If I had a bad client, they would always debrief with me afterwards and care for me. ⁓ So that was really important. At the ashram, I had…

 

really good, I made really good friends on the pipe crew. We were a gang of people who had a lot of fun together.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (49:42)

It

 

just, I can’t get my head around it on a gang on the pipe crew. It’s like chain gang stuff. It’s bizarre. Just bizarre. all jokes aside, this ⁓ choice of women to support women in these extraordinary settings is incredibly powerful. And something that

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (49:52)

Yes.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (50:11)

you know, I harp on about in Power of Women. It’s not always found and you found it in extraordinary settings to be plentiful.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (50:24)

Yes, absolutely. And I already had found it as a girl, as a child. found, because my own mother had a mental illness and was very suicidal and absent because she had been abused by the same two men, her father and her brother. So she was not a good mum. She was very troubled. This was generational.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (50:27)

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (50:52)

 

I found very early on, I found girlfriends whose mothers took me under their wing. I would visit them, I would hang out there, I would stay weekends. I would be away from home as much as possible and those mothers and girls really loved me. I think I was a lovable kid. Thank God I was a lovable kid. And so I did always have loving women who

 

I think they sensed that things were not okay at home. And even though I hid it and would never talk about it, and they cared for me, which is very fortunate. And funny enough, I’ve done the same thing with my daughter. I’ve cared for her girlfriends ⁓ who also some of them have had difficult childhoods.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (51:47)

Yeah, there’s the positive aspect of that you have traveled. So at what point do you see women moving from surviving their past to authoring their future? Is there a profound point on the continuum that that happens?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (51:51)

Absolutely.

 

think it doesn’t happen straight away which is really hard because you want that healing so desperately once you embark on the path of healing, once you start therapy or once you disclose it to your best friend and yet it takes, I think it takes at least a couple of years to find some strength, some power and strength to ⁓ believe in yourself, to let go of the shame.

 

and to have a voice. And that is a long time to wait. I remember I used to say to my beautiful therapist, you know, how much longer until I feel better? And it took, I think it took a couple of years. Yes, yes. And I was very committed. And I think, you know, some other people, some other women can’t be committed because they don’t have the money to go to therapy. Or they have

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (52:57)

It’s a string.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (53:11)

four kids at home and they don’t have the time to go to therapy or they don’t have a car to get there.

 

Yeah, so it takes time and patience. And money, absolutely.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (53:23)

and money.

 

Yeah. Wow! Is your book on the shelves already?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (53:32)

Yes it is, it came out in September last year and it’s on the shelves and it’s also available on Amazon and on Kindle.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (53:41)

Yeah, what a read. What a read. Could you just, the title is…

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (53:46)

Not My Shame. Not My Shame. that is, I chose that title because at the time Giselle Pellicot in France was talking about, with her court case, she was talking about shame must change sides. And that’s why I chose that title, yes.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (54:11)

What a profound point in time to bring it up, because that was one of the most terrific cases anywhere in the world that any of us could ever have heard about.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (54:23)

and yet what a strong woman she is.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (54:25)

Absolutely. And I’m assuming listeners know the story we’re talking about, but it was the woman who was repeatedly abused by strangers ⁓ for years as a result of her husband drugging her and running it as an enterprise. just one of the darkest examples of a perpetrator one could ever even imagine. So yeah.

 

I’m going to close with a couple of rapid fire questions today, Martina.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (55:01)

Okay.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (55:02)

what something survivors are really told but should be.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (55:09)

The most important thing is for a survivor to hear is, I believe you. And also, secondly, it’s not your fault. It’s the perpetrator’s fault. They’re very powerful statements.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (55:24)

Very powerful, they give me goosebumps listening to you say them just now. What’s one assumption about trauma that does more harm than good?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (55:36)

that you can never heal, that you’ll always be damaged. And we can heal and we will have relief from the damage of abuse.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (55:49)

Yep, great affirmation. If a woman listening right now is still blaming herself, what do want her to hear?

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (55:58)

I want her to hear that it is not her fault and that there is help available and maybe we can put some things in the show notes. There is help available, there is actually free help available for those who don’t, who can’t afford therapy ⁓ and they don’t have to walk this path alone.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (56:23)

Absolutely. Martina, thank you so much for what is just the most extraordinary conversation today about your own personal experience and the incredibly informative information that you’ve shared for somebody who has been through this horrendous trauma of sexual abuse and in particular child sexual abuse and how to…

 

⁓ approach that as part of a journey of healing and shifting that shame from oneself to perpetrator. And to your point, absolutely, I will ask you to share with me some links that we can put into the show notes for our listeners. ⁓ And that then becomes something powerful that they can also pass on and share the episode with somebody that

 

they believe really does need to listen to a conversation such as the one that we’ve had today. as unfortunate as it is, there are plenty of victims out there who are yet to face into the healing journey, I suspect. And hopefully this goes some way to…

 

identifying a roadmap for somebody to pursue to start that path.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (57:54)

Fantastic. Thank you so much for your time, and for the opportunity to have a chat with you.

 

DI GILLETT [HOST] (58:02)

my absolute privilege. Thank you, Martina. Until next time.

 

DR MARTINA ZANGGER [GUEST] (58:06)

Thank you, Di.

Chapters:

00:00 Rage and Hope: The Duality of Healing

01:53 Childhood Trauma: A Hidden Reality

05:57 The Journey to Disclosure

09:46 The Importance of Safe Spaces

14:02 Shame: The Silent Burden

18:13 Confronting the Past

21:58 Understanding Perpetrators

25:58 The Role of Women in Healing

30:04 The Rajneesh Cult Experience

38:02 Breaking Free from the Cult

46:00 Empowerment Through Storytelling

 

Connect with Di:

Connect with Di on LinkedIn

Follow Power Of Women on LinkedIn

Follow Di on Instagram

The Power Of Women Podcast Instagram

Contact Di

 

Find Martina at:

Website https://martinazangger.com.au/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-martina-zangger-9b29874a/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/martinazangger/

 

Resources [Australia]:

Free Services for victim-survivors:

https://victimsservices.justice.nsw.gov.au (22 free counselling sessions for victims of crime NSW)

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 (free DV and SA counselling 24 hours)

https://www.thesurvivorhub.org.au (free monthly peer support group)

https://bravehearts.org.au (Bravehearts: Free counselling for victims of CSA)

 

This is the home of unapologetic conversations and powerful stories of reinvention. New episodes drop every Monday to fuel your week with insights on leadership, resilience, and success. Subscribe and join a community of women who are changing the game.

 

Want more fearless, unfiltered stories?

 

💫 Subscribe to the Power Of Women Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts

Your ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify keeps these stories alive.

 

📩 Sign up for our newsletter where I share raw reflections and thought leadership on the Power Of Reinvention.

 

Disclaimer:  https://powerofwomen.com.au/podcast-disclaimer/

40 Years in Modelling… and Fully Employed at 57

40 Years in Modelling… and Fully Employed at 57

In this episode, Kate Bell reflects on a 40-year modelling career that defies conventional timelines. Modelling is one of the toughest industries in the world and at 57, Kate is still fully employed.

She speaks openly about ageism, rejection, women’s self-perception, and the practices that sustained her – from yoga and writing to self-discipline and creative expression.

Rather than positioning reinvention as a single turning point, Kate describes a career built on constant adaptation and responsibility for how she responds to life and work.

 

➡️You’ll Hear :

How rejection shaped Kate’s professional detachment and resilience

Why mature women are still underrepresented in fashion

The role of creativity as a lifelong stabiliser

What staying relevant actually requires

 

Kate said:

“Modelling is a job where you’re constantly and consistently wrong and rejected.”

“I’m healthier, happier, and more alive at 57 than I’ve ever been.”

“For real equality to happen, women must work together. Together we rise.”

Chapters:

00:00 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Connection

02:55 The Glamorous Yet Tough World of Modelling

05:56 Facing Industry Realities: Bullying and Racism

09:06 Reinvention and Self-Kindness

11:55 The Power of Intuition and Personal Growth

15:07 Creativity as an Anchor in Life

21:08 Resilience in the Face of Rejection

26:25 The Nature of Rejection in Modelling

35:05 Women’s Self-Perception and Aging

45:07 Empowerment and Support Among Women

 

Connect with Di:

Connect with Di on LinkedIn

Follow Power Of Women on LinkedIn

Follow Di on Instagram

The Power Of Women Podcast Instagram

Contact Di

 

Find Kate Bell at:

Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/i_am_katebell/

Substack https://katebell.substack.com/?r=vl8lb&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGn64pbkZE-s9uwUSetIa6JvlFQgH1zXycTZNUvbFT0wq_Y8VirwV4vpmKIZAU_aem_vjgIJmSrXCBU5tGgeYRE_g

 

This is the home of unapologetic conversations and powerful stories of reinvention. New episodes drop every Monday to fuel your week with insights on leadership, resilience, and success. Subscribe and join a community of women who are changing the game.

Want more fearless, unfiltered stories?

 

💫 Subscribe to the Power Of Women Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts

Your ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify keeps these stories alive.

 

📩 Sign up for our newsletter where I share raw reflections and thought leadership on the Power Of Reinvention.

 

Disclaimer:  https://powerofwomen.com.au/podcast-disclaimer/

It’s Time to Stop Backing Your Doubts and Start Backing Yourself

It’s Time to Stop Backing Your Doubts and Start Backing Yourself

What happens when women stop backing their doubts and start backing themselves?

In this unfiltered conversation, Margie Warrell, globally recognised expert in leadership and human behaviour, and  bestselling author, joins Di Gillett on the Power Of Women Podcast to explore why self-doubt, not ability, is the biggest limiter of women’s leadership, visibility and agency.

Margie shares her personal journey through adversity, loss, and reinvention, revealing how courage is built through action – not confidence – and why waiting to feel ready is often the very thing holding women back.

This episode is for women who know they’re capable of more, but feel caught between who they are now and who they’re meant to become.

 

➡️In this episode, we explore:

Why the chances we don’t take cost us more than the ones we do

How self-doubt limits women’s visibility, leadership and financial independence.

Why courage is not a feeling, but a decision

Why choosing your response is the ultimate act of power.

 

Key takeaways::

It’s the chances we don’t take that we regret the most.

Backing ourselves is crucial to overcoming self-doubt.

Financial independence is foundational to female agency.

Adversity doesn’t define you – how you respond does.

We are not our struggles or doubts; we are more than that.

 

 

📖 Read the full transcript of this conversation here 👇

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (00:11.784)

It’s the chances that we don’t take that we regret the most. And too often we back our doubts versus backing ourselves. And when we let our doubts call the shots and direct our action, they sell us short and they shortchange the future and they actually sell everyone else short of who it is we could be.

 

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, what would you do if you went all in and backed yourself? I’m Di Gillett and this is the Power of Women podcast. And what I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience and achievements of women from all walks of life. Today’s guest, Margie Worrell is somebody who embodies that spirit and fully commits. She’s a bestselling author.

 

global keynote speaker and leadership coach whose work has inspired countless women to lead with courage and conviction. In this conversation, we’ll explore what limits brave thinking and decisive action, how to turn self-doubt into growth, and why the bravest thing any woman can do is back herself. Margie Worrell, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

Thank you for having me die.

 

Margie, I can detect an international accent. I know you’re sitting in New York today and I’m here in Oz, but where exactly did you grow up?

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (01:46.338)

I grew up, Victorians may stand a chance of knowing where I grew up, most people who don’t come from Victoria have never heard of it, but I grew up in a little tiny place called Nungurna that’s midway between Lake Sentrance and Bairnsdale in East Gippsland, Victoria. We didn’t even have a shop.

 

There was a school, I was the only kid in my grade, and I grew up on a dairy farm. My dad obviously milked cows, my whole childhood. So it was a very rural Aussie country kid upbringing.

 

We have that in common, Margie. I too grew up in country Victoria, but we had a couple of shops close by. So yours was slightly more rural than mine. And I always feel that people who have had that rural upbringing, it absolutely plays into who they become later in life because there’s a certain resilience that comes from that.

 

Does that play into how your character has formed, do you think, over time?

 

There’s no doubt, Di, I think you learn to be a little scrappy. You learn to pick yourself up a lot. I also feel that it’s such a humble upbringing in many ways. There’s nothing about it that you could use if you were trying to be pretentious about

 

DI GILLETT: Host (03:04.831)

you

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (03:21.698)

you know, what you did or where you went to school or and so it’s a wonderfully grounding place to start life from. And I think it shaped me in many, many ways. I think Australian culture shaped me in the sense that it was a bigger insult to be called up yourself or stuck up than it was to be called a bitch or mean.

 

You know, it’s like, maybe I don’t call me stuck up don’t say I’m up myself and so I think the flip side of that is that we can be too humble and we can talk ourselves down too much but but I I feel like it’s all I always look back at my childhood with with a lot of gratitude for the ways it shaped me and I’m you know, I

 

It’s probably shaped me in a few ways I’ve had to overcome too. You know, so much self-doubt and who am I to do that? And maybe a lack of self-belief throughout my adult journey, which is sort of why I write and speak and have such a deep passion around courage because I feel like I’ve had to practice it a lot.

 

And I bet it also came into teaching you to get up early because nobody gets up earlier than dairy farmers.

 

Well, I will say my dad probably got up earlier than the rest of us. It’s not like, guess people picture me and all my siblings, I’m a big sister of seven, picture us down there at the crack of dawn milking the cows. The fact is, dad did a lot of the hardest work in the early mornings and we pitched in around it. the truth is I am an early riser, so who knows, maybe that’s what shaped it.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (05:06.67)

I must admit, Margie, we had an infestation of snails in our backyard the other week and I pulled on gumboots and went out and squashed them and my husband grew up in the city and he was horrified and I said in the country there was nothing more fun than going out and stomping on snails.

 

Stuff like that or throwing cow muck at each other or I mean yeah there’s a lot of things that I did for fun that when I tell people they’re slightly aghast so I have to choose my own.

 

Yeah, no, I get that. It’s the same in my world. So what took you to the US and how long have you been there?

 

Well, this is my second time living here. The first time I moved here, I mean, I backpacked around America when I was 21. I saved up my travel as checks as a lot of Aussies do. And I should mention my mum was born in America, but she moved to Australia when she was seven. And so growing up though, I always was like, my mum’s American. She didn’t have an American accent. She was not, she didn’t act

 

remotely like what we think of as American. She was super introverted and quiet and private and understated. But I always had this little kind of probably emotional connection to the United States simply from mom always cherished her US roots and actually never became an Australian citizen always until she died two years ago always kept her US citizenship even though she didn’t vote or anything. She just

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (06:42.766)

It meant a lot to her. So I’ll just say that because some people kind of like helps explain a little bit maybe why I was drawn here. But when I, after I met my husband, I was like, I really want to go and live globally. And he is from Melbourne and he is an engineer and work for a big company. And an opportunity came up in 2001. had, actually I was pregnant with our third child to move to their corporate head office.

 

And honestly, it just seemed like, yeah, let’s do it. What an exciting opportunity for him professionally, but for us as a family. And so we moved to the US. As it turned out, we packed up our house literally the morning that everyone in Australia was waking up to the news of 9-11. And I had a five-week-old baby and a two-year-old and a three-year-old.

 

We could all remember where we were at that time. Yeah.

 

We can. I mean, it was a really challenging time. I mean, one having three tiny children, but then moving somewhere where there was zero support and no friends and then add on the whole, you know, 9-11 fear factor and everything. So I lived here actually for 11 years and really came, I mean, my professional career in terms of coaching and speaking and writing, I started that in the United States.

 

You know, they’re kind of in a deep back studying before I moved to the US, but I launched it living in Dallas, Texas with four kids, five and under. And then moved up to Northern Virginia.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (08:14.926)

I think, yep.

 

think it’s just like, you know, you’ve got four kids, five and under, but I can start a coaching business. And then had 11 years and then moved back to Melbourne for five years, Di, which was in 2012 through 2017. And I’m really grateful for that. It came out of the blue. Again, Husband’s Company said, want to move you back to Australia. It wasn’t, we had zero inkling that that was going to happen.

 

But it was a really beautiful opportunity for my kids to know what it is to be really live in Australia. And they went to primary and high school in Australia. And I think it really solidified their identity as Aussies. They’re very global and all of them.

 

Do they identify as Aussies or do they identify as global citizens?

 

The oldest three, my youngest was born in US, but the oldest three, and they all have Aussie accents. They got back, I remember their first day at school, my oldest, Lachlan, was nearly 14 coming home, and he goes, I told people I’m Australian, and they’re saying, they say I’m not, they’re saying I’m an American, because I sound American, and he had a real American accent, and I won’t, I won’t, I won’t do that to you. And so insulted that people didn’t think he was Australian.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (09:33.966)

I just know the kids went on up like we are going to sound Australian as fast as we can and they have never given up that Australian like they were there you know several years up to five and a half of my younger two and I think that for them was just to know this is how we’re Australian we will sound Australian.

 

How wonderful. So tell me what was it experience or your upbringing that drew you into this interest in human behaviour, Margie?

 

There’s probably a little bit of both, but it was definitely some difficult experiences in my 20s. I actually moved to Papua New Guinea in my 20s. had three years there and then back to Melbourne, then to Adelaide, then to Dallas, then to DC, then back to Melbourne, then to Singapore, and then back to the US. So that’s the trajectory of all the moves. But during my time in Papua New Guinea, I had had an eating disorder. I’d had bulimia through my teens die.

 

Ironically, I heard about, believe me, a reading of Dolly magazine when I was 13. And I thought…

 

Doesn’t that ring a chord? Hmm.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (10:42.35)

a great way for me to be skinny. I just want to be skinny and I wasn’t skinny. I mean we say that now and we listen to that and go, but that’s me at 12, me at 13 was desperate to be skinny, like centrin to say.

 

And so many of our listeners would relate to that. I totally relate to that.

 

had tried taking laxatives and all that anyway cut a long story short I ended up for 13 years struggling with bulimia

 

In secret, Margie, or was it known to others?

 

Yeah, really, yeah, really in secret. And my parents knew, but they didn’t know what to do and they never said anything except making the odd off the cuff remark about don’t waste food. Like, don’t waste good food. And I just think they didn’t have the tools, they didn’t know how to deal with why would someone eat and throw up, you know. And of course, I didn’t know what to, you know, it’s not something I shared with anyone.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (11:46.542)

The system didn’t have many tools to help us with it either.

 

No, there was still and there was so much shame. I remember just thinking if people knew and they wouldn’t like me and and I was pretty high functioning. I mean, I always did well at school. I was very social. I got great grades. I just see school.

 

How low is it in, because it needs determination to do that?

 

Yeah, I so, but I carried that with me. I shared it with my friend Anna, Anna Quinn. Hello Anna, if she ever listens to this in Brisbane. And I shared it with her at university. And I didn’t want to tell anyone and I told her and she said, and it was just the power of friendship. She said, you know, maybe you should go and talk to someone. Maybe you should go see a psychologist. And I was like, but only crazy.

 

I had this thing that only people who are really not functional see psychologists. But it was like, that maybe that would be a good idea. And that was the start of the journey. But it was while living in Papua New Guinea, five years on, I moved there at 2026, that it flared up again and I did a 12-step program. And I made friends with a few fabulous women.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (13:08.258)

who was struggling with their own things. One of them cut herself. you know, people were having, infidelity was rampant. And I found myself the confident of a lot of people, not a lot, but a handful. And I realized I really wanted to, I discovered Scott Peck and Wayne Dyer, and I was like, I wanna be someone that helps people deal with the internal struggles.

 

and I met so many smart, amazing people that were hurting themselves. And that was really the beginning of the journey. And then while I was there, I ended up in an armed robbery die and I lost a baby, first child, only 20 weeks pregnant, 10 days later. And that was pretty traumatic. And just as I picked myself up from that, I decided, I just want to go back and study psychology. I had been working in marketing.

 

and that was that took me off on the path that I have been on ever since and that was gee that was 1997. Where are we so you know was that 28 years ago? Yeah something like that and I had no idea where it would go by the way. had no idea. I’d never heard of coaching. I didn’t even know that people got paid to speak. Writing a book never crossed my mind.

 

It was more, at that moment I would have said, I wanna be a psychologist.

 

Wow, that’s a huge amount of experience leading into that, Margie. Thank you for sharing. how did that then become, because bold moves and courage has become your thing, how did you even tap into that to then talk about that based on such challenging life experiences that you went through?

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (15:04.878)

When we share the things that we have shame around, it removes and helps dissolve the shame. So that was one thing. And I felt almost a sense of obligation. I don’t, my identity isn’t that I had an eating disorder and I don’t always share it because I don’t always feel it’s relevant. But when I do feel it can be relevant or helpful, happily share it. don’t know if the word happily, but I’m really comfortable and I feel really, I really feel a strong sense of

 

conviction and an end obligation around sharing that story. But I should also mention, you know, I have a brother who had a brutal mental illness for a decade, schizophrenia before he took his life. And I have another brother who had a terrible accident two years before Peter took his life and became paraplegic, had developed, it was spinal injury, has paraplegia still ever since then.

 

and my mom’s really struggled with depression, there was just numerous pretty brutal experiences. I had ended up with five miscarriages, you know, and I think I believe that each of us is born with a unique set of talents and I feel a strong sense of purpose around

 

the work that I do, but so much of that comes from the hardest experiences that I’ve had. And yes, have I been bold and had a sense of adventure? Sure, yeah, I have. But it’s not been in the absence of a lot of doubt and a lot of misgivings and a voice in my head Di that says, who do you think you are? And just wait, someone’s going to realize you don’t know as much as you think.

 

you’re not that brave, you’re not that, you know, like that voice is there. And, you know, that comes, obviously comes from the childhood days when big sister, I couldn’t help my mom enough when there was a lot of pressure on me, et cetera, to always be doing things and never feeling like I was measuring up. So just, I think all of those experiences have shaped me, but also that’s where I probably have drawn my own wisdom over the years too.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (17:20.142)

Who we are is not our doubts, who we are is not our struggles and our setbacks and our hardships and our heartaches. Who we are is something infinitely more than that. And so often our fear and those stories that we’ve been telling ourselves for a long, time create this barrier that keeps us from really connecting with what I think is the sacredness of who we are.

 

I see ourselves as not so much physical beings having this occasional spiritual experience, but really spiritual beings who have these earth suits and have this physical experience. a quote that I actually put in my last book, The Courage Gap, is that God had a dream and he wrapped your body around it. I just, that sort of encapsulates a little bit of how I

 

I view life for myself, do you view all of us as here on this planet for so long and what does it mean for us to live lives that are just really true and honoring who we are and the journey we’ve had.

 

I did an episode last year, Margie, with Carly Lyon, and she talks about three universal thoughts, and one of them is exactly what you said. Who do you think you are? I mean, your life experiences and the adversity from a personal level could have absolutely broken you and would have broken many.

 

decisions did you take and can you share how you actually didn’t allow that to become the defining moment that broke you and kept going? Because you had multiple encounters that could have been a tipping point.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (19:13.08)

Yeah, you know, I can recall I’m a journal die. I’ve been a journal all my life. Well, since I remember finding a little diary, you know, when I was 11 on back then it was like Sharon’s my best friend and I like Ricky and I hate Ricky and you know, like that’s where I started as an 11 year old. I’ve often, I’ve often just written to process what I think and,

 

And I’m mindful as I’m speaking to you now, you probably have largely a straight in audience and I’m very mindful of the cynicism around religion sometimes or certainly, you know, spirituality. But I have a really strong faith system and that has been

 

a huge source of resilience for me and courage. And I recall though after I was in this arm droppery, it was pretty violent. And then 10 days later, I got told your baby has died. And I was 27. No, just turned 27. And I remember journaling a lot because there was a lot of like, what the fuck, God.

 

Like seriously, how could this happen to me? can’t believe, I mean, I knew intellectually women have miscarriages. knew, you know, that bad things can happen to good people. I knew that, but I just somehow didn’t think it would happen to me in really close succession, like super tight timeframe there. So I hadn’t even processed the first event and the second happened.

 

And so I journaled a lot and I wrangled and I was like, you know, fighting with reality, fighting with whatever I call it, God, right? I’m just going to say that. And some people might go, I don’t believe in God. I’m like, okay, you’re just fighting with life. Like what has happened here? And, and I just remember journaling a lot, trying to make sense of it all. But I arrived at probably six weeks, two months. And after those events,

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (21:27.03)

And there came a moment and a lot of people felt really sorry for me. know, word had spread, know, she was in his arm drummer and then she lost her baby and people were feeling really sorry, a lot of sympathy, which is nice. But I could feel people treating me like a victim and I was a victim. There was no doubt I had been a victim of, you know, violence. I had been a victim of miscarriage as are many, many, many women. Mother nature, whatever you call it.

 

But I remember having this moment of clarity. I do not want to identify as a victim.

 

absolutely want to reclaim all the power that I’ve given away to woe is me and my pity party and this isn’t fair and how can this happen to me and it didn’t happen to the five other women I know that are pregnant right now who are now getting bigger and bigger and and and so I just remember this moment of decision. I will not give my circumstances the power to define me. I will define myself and it was a real it was a real moment of clarity.

 

I get to choose who I am and I get to create my story and it will not be a story of poor me. And it was that little name that was on that moment of like, what is it that I will do this year that I’m not? And I went back and I signed up Deakin University back then with distance education and I signed up and did this course in psychology and that was the start of the path I’m on. But I think there’s been many moments since then where

 

And in more recent years too, when things aren’t the way I’d like them to be. And yeah, I’m as vulnerable as everyone to going down the, it’s not fair. And it shouldn’t be this way. I’ll never make it. know, all the negative tales we can tell ourselves and those shameful stories we can tell ourselves. And I’ve just become a little more masterful. I’m not saying I’m a master, but a little better.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (23:29.12)

at catching myself when I’m in the midst of telling this story that I know is not empowering me, that is sucking my HNC, that is keeping me from backing myself.

 

And so hence the courage piece that I talk about and write about, which isn’t an absence of doubt and fear and everything else, it’s the decision that something else is more important. It’s not an emotion, I disagree with Brené Brown on this one, you the emotion of courage. Like if we’re waiting to feel brave or courageous, you could be waiting until you’re 100. No, it is a decision, it’s a practice, it’s a discipline.

 

I’m gonna do this thing even though I’m honestly, my stomach is feeling sick and I’m terrified that people are gonna discover I’m really not that good. But I’m gonna do it anyway because I don’t wanna look back one day and go what if.

 

Can you draw a thread, and I know in my own life through adversity, I draw a thread coming all the way back to growing up in a country setting because there is nothing more challenging than your survival being dependent on the weather. You can’t control it. So you’ve got to be incredibly damn resilient to bounce back.

 

When things outside of your control keep getting thrown at you and making life difficult, you either make a decision to fold up and walk away or you make a decision to keep going. Do you see a thread between childhood and those decisions that you’ve made to go, I’m going to take control of this?

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (25:15.682)

realized that I had experienced some trauma when I was nine until about six or seven years ago. And I’ll share the story because it was interesting when I connected the dots. When I was nine, it was a terrible drought and my dad had to sell his entire herd, couldn’t afford to feed them, except a few cows that he kept for our family and for bartering with local fishermen and et cetera.

 

And I remember as the cattle truck went down the lane way, just looking at dad and I realized like, how are we going to get money? And none of my other siblings, I think they were too young. They just, I was just so clear for me, it was like, this is the source of income going down the lane way. And I remember my dad saying, I don’t know, but we just have to trust the good Lord will provide. And I remember thinking, how does the good Lord provide? Like, does he, does he just put money on the back of a rander? Do we win tax lotto? Like,

 

And for the next four years, my dad did odd jobs with his tractor. mean, we, I mean, we never went to restaurant my whole childhood, but we always had op shop clothes. Like there wasn’t, there was never any money. I mean, not that, but we never, of course, went hungry. And so I guess the good Lord did provide, but it was as an adult, a few years ago when something happened and the certainty I had about future financial security suddenly was blown up and I had an anxiety attack.

 

And I knew it was irrational. knew intellectually it was irrational. I wasn’t going to end up on the streets in destitute. But it was like that truck was going down the laneway again. And suddenly the nine-year-old in me was like, I’m terrified that I’m not going to be, that I don’t have enough security. And of course, as kids, we look to our parents to make us feel secure.

 

and I had to just look in and go, you know what, Maggie, know, no one’s coming to save you, but seek within yourself the security you look for elsewhere. And I really overreacted to the situation. It was disproportionate. My fear factor was disproportionate. And so I do realize I don’t think I would have ever married a farmer die. I don’t think as an adult, never.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (27:39.746)

wanted that level of insecurity that it was dependent on the prices, the cream prices and the weather systems. I also don’t think I’ve ever married an entrepreneur.

 

Mmm, for the same risk profile.

 

I don’t want to lose it all. I don’t think I’ve ever met an artist. I’ve always had a crush on Hugh Jackman. It’s funny, my husband is an engineer and it wasn’t a conscious decision.

 

Well maybe it… yeah.

 

But I think at a subconscious level, like, engineer, you know. And so I see that now. But I also think those experiences that were a little jarring for me and did create some insecurity in me also fueled agency and fueled drive. And my mom actually was a fairly passive person.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (28:36.204)

I think also reacting against my mom, like no one’s ever gonna say I’m sitting back and being passive, like really fueled, like, you know, if it’s gonna be, it’s up to me, like go out and get shit done. And I think that also shaped me too.

 

Yeah and I tell a story Margie about what defined my agency about being financially independent was in growing up in in the country setting that I grew up in it was commonplace every week to hear my mother say on a Monday morning, Max can you leave me a check on the dresser? Now wasn’t that mum had to beg for money it’s just that dad controlled the bank account in

 

as was done in those times, even though she was the daughter of a bank manager. And I can remember hearing that every week and it would play over in my head and I used to think, why does mum have to rely on dad to have any income? And it was a drip feed to go.

 

I’m not going to do that. I am going to be financially independent and not rely on anybody else or a man for my financial security. different story, but same impact.

 

think there’s a lot of women who have witnessed that or they witnessed their parents breaking up and dad, sure, mom got something, but she could only get, she could only do an hourly job because she hadn’t worked for years. She couldn’t afford to keep the house because she couldn’t afford the rates on it, you know, or whatever. Yeah, men aren’t a financial plan is what I would say. I’ve often said, don’t.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (30:12.046)

Exactly.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (30:19.456)

That might be a grab, Margie. aren’t a financial plan. I kind of like that. And not to be disrespectful to any of the men in our lives, but I get it.

 

Men are awesome. I’m a huge man fan. I have three awesome young sons and a great husband, But I do think as women, it’s so important for us to be rooted in both our, obviously our feminine power, but you know, some of the masculine like, you know what, you don’t need, I mean, they choose to be with someone because they make you better and they bring out your best, not because you need it. And something I’ve seen die,

 

with women so many times and it hurts my heart is women who settle for a man because it’s the best I can get because they’re afraid of being alone because they don’t feel complete without a man to protect them and I’m not saying I don’t love that my husband gives me a sense of feeling protected and we’re together, sure great, but I know I can stand on my own two feet and that was a really wonderful place to go into.

 

a relationship when I was in my 20s. Because it’s like I’ve traveled around the world. I’m extremely independent.

 

You arrived there early, Margie, because I mean I think a lot of women don’t land at that point of standing on their own, you know, feeling empowered enough to stand on their own two feet until much later in life than early 20s, so.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (31:47.822)

Yeah, well I think that is to die. left home at 18 to move to Melbourne for university. There was no family. I had to find somewhere to live through the papers. You know, that was the Wednesday age. I, there was no school dormitory. didn’t, there was no living at Trinity college or I. You if you had that, I would have loved it. It would be awesome. I was living with random people in random.

 

Indeed, I apologize.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (32:16.696)

sometimes like really

 

Ordinary setting, yeah.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (32:23.87)

I mean, got something from the government because my parents

 

would have been called teese in those days, Margie.

 

But I also work three jobs and so I think by the time I got to 22, I’m four years being 100%. I mean, even before I left home, I was making all my own money, buying my own bedding. So it sort of gave that grittiness, that tenacity, resourcefulness that I think some kids, when parents are buying you your own car, when your dad’s helping you figure out how to sell or whatever,

 

You’re used to putting your hand out and not driving your own decisions.

 

actually even as a parent die, you know, my kids would never accuse me of over-parenting. I’ve been very much like, figure it out. you know, I think as they’re getting now into their twenties, they can see that they have a self-reliance and independence that even though I could have given them things that my parents couldn’t afford to give me, I’m like,

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (33:33.696)

I’ve got kids living in New York and people go, you do help them with rent? A lot of people I know help their kids with rent. I’m like, no, you want to live in New York? You need to learn how to live in New York on your school salary and in the hovel that you can afford. even though I could help you, I want you to know what it is to be poor.

 

Well, and I love that because I think there is so many parenting mistakes made of, want to give my kids everything I didn’t have. I think that point is an error and I know in my own upbringing if I was a horse rider and a dressage rider and if I wanted anything to do with livestock or anything to support that career and I didn’t have the money, I’d have to go to dad and negotiate and I had invested in.

 

a small herd of cattle, in fact, with my father. And I used to sit down and he would say, well, how many are you prepared to sell to fund what you want? And if you’re prepared to do that, I’ll tip in the shortfall. So everything was a negotiation, but nothing was just given. And I think there’s huge lessons in that. And I paid my own rent from day dot post.

 

post-Trinity and I think that plays a lot into building character.

 

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, we’re all figuring out as parents and I think it’s a little more complex, but honestly, the more affluent you are, I think the more thoughtful and intentional you are. Because when you can afford to solve all your kids’ problems by buying them things and paying for them to get out of trouble and helping, okay, you didn’t go to that school because you’re expelled, let me put you in this other elite school. I think…

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (35:22.248)

Actually we can make a lot bigger mistakes and faster than when we don’t have those means.

 

So coming up, we’re going to explore bold thinking and how that can propel you forward. If you’re loving the Power of Women podcast, be sure to jump onto our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode.

 

So I’m talking with Margie Worrell, global expert and leader in human behavior. Margie, in the break, you mentioned something, a phrase, post-traumatic growth. Could you expand on that for me?

 

We’ve all heard of post-traumatic stress or post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

 

Post-traumatic growth is in one sense the opposite of it, though the two of them can coexist. But post-traumatic growth is when people emerge from a traumatic circumstance, traumatic experience, as a more positive, more evolved, more mature, more purposeful, more connected person than they were before.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (36:41.866)

And so there are various things that can help to facilitate post-traumatic growth. And as I said, we can be suffering symptoms of PTSD, which I did after that armed robbery in hindsight. I didn’t recognize it at the time. had some PTSD in the, like I just completely overreacted one day, six months later when I was in Chapel Street, Melbourne, and I couldn’t find my husband who was supposed to rendezvous at a point outside Safeway or something.

 

And my brain went straight away to he’s being murdered, he’s lying in a back alley and he’s dead. And then when I found him after 20 minutes, I went hysterical. I thought you were dead, which was a completely ridiculous response. But it was clearly triggered by the experience six months earlier, the very close order of the robbery and the miscarriage that helped me, that jarred my world that bad things don’t happen to And I’m like, I was waiting for the next penny to drop.

 

What’s the next terrible thing? My husband’s going to get murdered. And so I had PTSD, which I’m pleased to say I don’t have anymore. However, I did emerge through that experience over time.

 

far more purposeful with an enlarge. actually, our mental maps of the world get smashed and we’ve got to come up with new mental maps that can incorporate that bad stuff happens and it happens to me. But that life is good and that life is worthwhile and that we can find purpose and positive things even in the hardest and harshest of circumstances.

 

And even I you know, I think back of say having the eating disorder had I not had that I might have been a little bit more judgmental and righteous about people who are stuck in cycles of addiction or in patterns of behavior that were whether it was alcoholism or gambling addicts or Shopaholics or you know, I might was sex addicts at such I’m like, for God’s sake just stop it. I might have said

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (38:52.238)

But having been in that, I knew, you know, we could just stop it. We’d just stop it.

 

Glass houses, yeah

 

Yeah, so you know more empathy all of these things and so you know I really strongly believe and now I mean I you know some people might know the name of Gabor Mate who has talked so much about this thing. and obviously I’ve only come to know him in the last couple of years but for all of us I

 

Yeah.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (39:26.366)

I think those things that wound us, we’re all gifted and wounded by our childhoods. And those experiences that test us the most, that can sometimes just really hurt our hearts, don’t have to be things that leave massive scar tissue, would, you forevermore, I am never opening up to someone, I’m never trusting someone that make us bitter.

 

and I know it’s cliche, but I think when we can pour a lot of love into ourselves and do the work and heal ourselves, and often that’s in relationship with others, that we can actually emerge from that a fuller, deeper version of who we could become. And those experiences actually can ultimately be incredibly shaping and formative in positive ways.

 

And I absolutely applaud what you’ve said, but I also realize there is a fork in the road of going left or right when these things hit. Is there a piece of wisdom that you could share with listeners, about how you make that decision to take that?

 

and build that into the strength of character rather than allow it to pull you into the abyss.

 

Yeah, firstly I think if anyone that’s listening is in the midst of a really difficult time, this isn’t to diminish that sometimes life’s experiences can be just incredibly painful. We can feel tremendous heartache and anguish and so I don’t want to diminish that for anyone that’s going through that because it’s real.

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (41:32.302)

But I also know, and the research bears this out, as hard as it is right now, it doesn’t stay this hard forever. We often underestimate our ability to heal. And the emotions, as intense as they are right now, over time, those emotions aren’t as intense. And so I think of…

 

Victor Frankel and a book that I always recommend to everybody which is Man’s Search for Meaning and he was obviously for those some of you may know who he is already he a he was a Jewish man caught up in the Holocaust in Auschwitz but you know that in the midst of the most difficult circumstances the ultimate freedom the human freedom is to choose our response and to decide you know

 

Who it is we will be in the midst of all of these things that we would never have chosen, didn’t feel prepared for. And, you know, I wrote a lot about this in, the courage gap, like just anchoring in on who is it that you want to be and not letting what’s going on around you define who it is you want to be and putting who before do. And I think for me over the years with, you know, the 101

 

shitty things that have happened in the years since some of those experiences I’ve talked about. It’s come back, well, you know what, if I’m someone who has the capacity to rise above any circumstance, then what can I do today that will help move me in that direction? And maybe it’s just nursing the wound and giving myself time to just really cry. Maybe it’s just sharing it with someone else. Maybe it’s writing about it.

 

Maybe it’s taking myself out for a long walk under a bunch of trees because I always feel a little bit better when I’ve been in nature. But it’ll help me instead of just being a victim to the circumstance to go, no, what is it I could do that’s going to help me move through this? And there’s a phrase that life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us. And that may sound a little cliche and patsy, but if life is

 

MARGIE WARRELL_Guest (43:43.374)

always giving you an issuing a silent invitation for you to grow in your own humanity. What might it be pointing you toward right now? And we can put a lot of energy into fighting with reality. It shouldn’t be this way. My husband shouldn’t have cheated on me. We shouldn’t have gone broke. I shouldn’t have a kid that’s got this addiction. I shouldn’t have a parent as I just went through.

 

who is I’m losing to the fog of dementia or, you know, and we can just get stuck up, stuck in railing against realities versus who is it I choose to be in the midst of all of this? And, you know, I do a lot of work in the leadership space, but the number one person we ever have to lead is ourselves and really anchoring in, you know, those values and the virtues of who it is we choose to be. And I think in our relationships that,

 

We need that most of all because it’s in our relationships that causes the most stress and heartache. And you know, I know when my brother was in and out of psych hospitals and then, you know, in trouble with the law and I was trying to help him and I was, you know, trying to give him tips on how to turn his life around. And then I just had to let go and go, this is his path to forge and he’s going to do, I mean, I can, I’ll support him, but

 

I can’t save him. And even with my kids, not that my kids have been in a circumstance like that, but they sometimes make choices that I take a breath and I’m like, know what? They’ve got their path to forge and I just love them. And maybe I point out and have them think through the second and third order consequences of decisions, but this is their path to forge.

 

their journey and their learning. But again, just choosing who is it that I choose to be. I want to be a source of love. I want to be a source of encouragement. And I want to be someone who continually shows up with some consistency on the values that I care about too.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (45:49.474)

Fantastic, Margie, that’s incredible. And I think one of the most powerful lines I take away from that, from where I started the question that led to that incredible response is, choose your response. So, or we choose our response rather than allowing circumstances to define you. And I think that’s incredibly powerful and a great message.

 

Margie, could I throw a couple of quickfire questions, rapid fire to wrap up today? What’s the bravest decision you’ve made in the past five years?

 

Ooh, five years. I know. So when I moved back to United States, I was recruited, it was the midst of deep dark COVID, to become a senior partner at Cornferry, which is a big global consulting firm. And I was in the advisory practice working with board CEOs and exec teams of the world’s biggest companies. It was a lot of status.

 

It provided a lot of nice things, including the security of income. And after my mom died two years ago, I just got so much clarity that one day I’m going to die. And I’m going to look back and I just knew that I needed to leave because I was like, you know what? You are not using your talents for the highest good here. I felt like I was starting to shrink a little. I was losing touch with

 

what I think is that makes me different. And so I chose to leave that. And you know what, going back out on my own, you know, one is that, yes, there’s the financial salary that yeah, do I miss that? Sure. I know over time I’ll make up for it. But I think for me, that was a brave thing to do. But by the same token, I’ll also say I knew I had to do it. I just had to do it because actually it was more, what would have been more terrifying to me is not to do it.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (47:54.786)

Yeah, wow, thank you. And for a woman listening right now who feels unseen, what would you want her to hear from you?

 

would say pour love into those parts of you that feel like you’re not enough and that feel unseen and just extend grace into yourself and all of the kindness and things that you’ve given to others, like really pour it into you and know that you are innately worthy and wholly adequate and

 

And I believe fully seen by God, whether people believe that God or not, believe that. And I would just say, just know that who you are and your worth and your value is not determined by anybody else. It is just innate and intrinsic in you.

 

Could you finish this sentence for me? Bravery is.

 

fear walking.

 

DI GILLETT: Host (49:04.814)

Amazing. Margie, there is so many valuable insights from the story that you have shared and you have been extraordinarily generous in sharing some pretty challenging circumstances that you faced into through your life. But more importantly, how you’ve actually come through that out the other end and are now applying that to a

 

purpose-led life, think that is just incredibly inspiring. So thank you so very much for the candid conversation today. If somebody wants to engage your services, Margie, how do they do that?

 

Well, you can just head over to my website, margieworal.com and obviously there’s books there. I actually just launched a brand new course on LinkedIn that people might enjoy doing. It is just the best quality and highest production quality course I have ever done. It’s super exciting.

 

But you can find everything on my website, just for anyone who would like more. And I also have my own podcast called the Live Brave podcast that people are welcome to check out wherever you’re listening to this, you’ll find the Live Brave podcast too.

 

Wonderful. I’m sure there are many more powerful stories there. Margie, thank you so much. think the best advice I can give anybody is share this episode with somebody you think might just need a little bit of help in getting over a dose of adversity or a setback or a feeling of self doubt because there is so many messages that are uplifting and

 

DI GILLETT: Host (50:52.844)

Choose your response is going to be one of the ones that I’m going to keep replaying. Margie Worrell, thank you so much. Until next time.

 

Connect with Di:

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Find Margie at:

Website https://www.margiewarrell.com

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/margiewarrell/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/margiewarrell

 

This is the home of unapologetic conversations and powerful stories of reinvention. New episodes drop every Monday to fuel your week with insights on leadership, resilience, and success. Subscribe and join a community of women who are changing the game.

 

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AI Won’t Replace You – However People Who Use It Will

AI Won’t Replace You – However People Who Use It Will

Artificial intelligence is no longer theoretical – it is actively reshaping careers, leadership, and relevance.

In this episode of the Power Of Women Podcast, Di Gillett is joined by Kelly Slessor, one of Australia’s most respected AI strategists, digital innovators, and retail technology leaders, for a deeply human conversation about what AI really means for women, work and leadership.

Kelly was building AI personalisation platforms years before ChatGPT entered the mainstream. Today, she works at the intersection of artificial intelligence, emotional intelligence, and human systems, advising businesses, educating leaders, and advocating for responsible, human-centred technology.

This episode moves beyond surface-level AI commentary to ask harder, more consequential questions:

Who becomes more powerful in an AI-enabled world?

Why fear is the wrong response – and education is the only viable one

Why women are underrepresented in AI leadership, yet uniquely positioned to shape its future

How AI data is shaped by men and women’s voices are paramount

How fostering children has profoundly shaped Kelly’s leadership philosophy, empathy and perspective

Why “balance” is a myth – and what actually sustains women operating at pace

This is not a conversation about keeping up.
It’s a conversation about agency, authorship and relevance, in a world that is moving faster than most organisations are willing to admit.

 

➡️We explore:

  • Why AI will augment people, not replace them
  • The real risk for leaders who delay AI education
  • How repetitive work will disappear and what replaces it
  • Why emotional intelligence is the missing ingredient in AI development
  • How women can leapfrog professionally by engaging with AI now
  • The leadership lessons Kelly learned through foster care
  • Why safety, belonging, and trust matter in teams and in technology

 

➡️Key Takeaways:

AI literacy is now a leadership requirement, not a technical skill

People who understand AI will outpace those who avoid it

Women’s lived experience strengthens, not weakens their leadership in tech

Education dissolves fear faster than policy or process

The future belongs to leaders who integrate HI (Human Intelligence) with AI

Connect with Di:

Connect with Di on LinkedIn

Follow Power Of Women on LinkedIn

Follow Di on Instagram

The Power Of Women Podcast Instagram

Contact Di

 

Find Kelly Slessor at:

Websites:

https://theecommercetribe.com/

https://tribegenai.com/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellyslessor/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theecommercetribe/

 

This is the home of unapologetic conversations and powerful stories of reinvention. New episodes drop every Monday to fuel your week with insights on leadership, resilience, and success. Subscribe and join a community of women who are changing the game.

 

Want more fearless, unfiltered stories?

 

✨ Subscribe to the Power Of Women Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts

Your ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify keeps these stories alive.

 

📩 Sign up for our newsletter where I share raw reflections and thought leadership on the Power Of Reinvention.

 

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What Investors Really Look For in Female Founders

What Investors Really Look For in Female Founders

What actually makes a founder investable – and why hustle culture may be working against women.

In this episode of the Power Of Women Podcast, Di Gillett sits down with Dan Copsey – entrepreneur, investor, and Group CEO, to unpack what investors really assess when backing founders, particularly women.

This is not a surface-level conversation about confidence or pitching harder.

Dan reveals why honesty beats hype, why performative hustle culture is a red flag, and why many of the most investable female founders are undervaluing what they already bring to the table.

From founder-investor dynamics to gender bias in startup rooms, this episode delivers an unfiltered investor lens every ambitious woman in business needs to hear.

 

You’ll hear:

Why honesty is the #1 trait investors look for

The biggest red flags investors see in pitches

Why hustle culture is failing founders – especially women

What female founders are doing right but not articulating

How motherhood, life load and leadership are undervalued assets

What makes an investor–founder relationship succeed long-term

How to know when your business is truly ready to scale.

 

Dan’s advice:

Lead with who you are, not just what you’re building

Hustle culture is not a credibility signal

Don’t take money from the wrong investor

Protect your equity early

Be transparent about your full life load

Build sustainability into your success

Choose investors who bring more than money.

 

Dan said:

“Honesty is the single most important trait in a founder.”

“Hustle culture distracts from the true core of entrepreneurship.”

“If an investor can’t add value to your life, they’re not the right investor.”

 

📖 Read the full transcript of this conversation here 👇

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (00:02)

There’s a lot of sharks in the water out there, especially at the moment. They’ll want to take a lot of equity off you very quickly and people can get really lost in the fact that, cool, we’re half a million dollars, but maybe you’re losing some.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (00:14)

Nothing’s

 

for nothing.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (00:15)

An investor-founder relationship is almost like another personal relationship. You need to find the right person, need to find the right team. They need to add value to your life, just like a husband or a wife with no value to their partner’s life. You’ve got to work well together.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (00:32)

One word that defines a great founder. Biggest red flag in a pitch.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (00:35)

Honest.

 

arrows that go up. I watched her go and I’m you are unbelievable. You are unbelievable. And when I first met her, she was like, she’d had a bad day. And I met her through a networking group and she walked in and she sort of just unloaded on the entire group. And I remember grabbing her at the dinner afterwards and saying, hey, don’t give up. Don’t give up. I said, the reason why they are treating you like that is because they’re scared of you.

 

My name is Dan Copsey I’m a very driven entrepreneur. ⁓ I’ve had many experiences in my professional and personal life and I really enjoy ⁓ working with different people and being involved with people. think people, it doesn’t matter what you do in life. I think being around the right people and being part of, know, ⁓ and having good people to work with and take on the journey is what I really enjoy.

 

⁓ So yeah, so just a very driven, driven entrepreneur. think my father, I heard my father over say to a friend of his one day, Dan will either be flat broke or he’ll be a multimillionaire, but either way he’s going to keep going. So that’s, that’s who I am.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (01:50)

Have you ever wondered what really makes an investor say yes? Is it the idea, the founder, or something less tangible such as conviction? I’m Di Gillett and welcome to the Power Of Women podcast. And what I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience, and achievements of women from all walks of life. And joining me today is Dan Copsey.

 

And as you’ve already heard, is an Australian entrepreneur. He’s an investor and group CEO of TMSPC, which oversees a portfolio of advertising agencies, hospitality ventures, and not-for-profit initiatives. Dan’s coordinated more than 10 businesses, serving as an advisor to numerous founders and executives. And he championed social impact through projects like Partners in Progress Foundation and the Health CoLab.

 

He’s passionate about resilience, work-life balance, and building businesses for good. And with so many founders looking to scale or secure investment, Dan’s insights into what it takes to make a founder investable couldn’t be more timely. Dan Copsey, welcome to the Power Of Women podcast.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (03:10)

I am privileged to be here. I very, very privileged to be here. I’ve been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks now ever since when I started talking.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (03:20)

Thank

 

you. Brilliant. Before we dive into investing and scaling, you’ve built and co-founded and invested multiple ventures. So what landed you in that entrepreneurial space in the first place? Was it that line your father said?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (03:38)

My father said that many years after I started all my multiple ventures. I think some people are born to work for people and then some people just aren’t made to work for people and they need to be blazing their own trail, so to speak. And I think that’s where I’ve landed. Although I’ve spent the earlier part of my career

 

you know, working for other founders and their businesses. I always found that within those roles that I really treated the business like it was my own. And I really, you know, and that was where my work ethic developed. But I think being an entrepreneur, someone asked me this a couple of weeks ago, what does being an entrepreneur means? You and I just said freedom. That’s it. It’s freedom. ⁓

 

You talk about work-life balance. I call myself semi-retired at the moment. I have a country of happiness and more time outside mowing the lawns than anything else. So, ⁓ but, just that once it’s very hard to build a business and it’s very hard to build successful businesses. And I tell you, it’s very hard to build multiple successful businesses. But once you get into that rhythm and once you once you have those wins,

 

And once you start building, it’s very addictive. It is very addictive and what it can do for you, your lifestyle. And it’s not, I’m not talking about making millions of dollars or anything like that, but what it does create for you within your life is, I don’t think you can replicate that anywhere else. And it allows you to really chart your own goal. I was listening to Simon Sinek this morning in an interview he was doing with a comedian.

 

And Simon says his works all about what the goal is at the end, not so much the journey. And he finds a lot of people focus on the journey and they get to the end bit and they realize it was the wrong goal. So I really, I really like that. And I really like that being able to work that goal backwards. You know, like you should do in wealth planning or business, a business plan or anything else. Why shouldn’t you do that in your life too? So I think that if you do that, and that’s, that’s why being an entrepreneur and

 

and doing what I do, you know, it allows me to do all that and that’s what I really enjoy and why I’ve ended up here.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (06:06)

Dan, had ⁓ another entrepreneur, Mandy Gunzberger, the podcast last year and she has scaled five business successfully and sold a couple of those on. And she tells the story of she then after selling one of her

 

more recent businesses went back to the role of employee and she was fired three times. Shocked the first two times, not shocked the third time. Do you think entrepreneurs make good employees or are they wired differently?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (06:38)

I think the real entrepreneurs are wired differently. was once told, I’ve been told by several ⁓ director, know, highly placed sort of director friends of mine that I’m unemployable ⁓ to them because they would need a team around just to manage me. So, ⁓ but I guess that’s the thing though, like, you you think about just the Australian economy alone, where would the Australian economy be without entrepreneurs?

 

you know, entrepreneurs who want to go out and start businesses and even if it’s just as small as a small lawn mowing business or a makeup business or something like that, that’s an entrepreneur that is creating a macro economy that might be employing someone, it might be employing someone who necessarily couldn’t be employed anywhere else, you ⁓ I think, you know, one of the big things that was really learned over the last, I don’t know,

 

Even I mean not just through the pandemic but prior to the pandemic it was already starting to change, know, the flexibility in the workplace and things like that. You know, I think, you know, big corporates struggle to they say they want to give that balance but they struggle with it, think. So just a rigid framework when you get the smaller entrepreneurs, most of our employees in two of our businesses, you know, all work remotely.

 

So, you know, and I don’t really want to know when someone’s got a doctor’s appointment and I don’t want to know when someone’s going to take the kids to school, pick the kids up, go and do it. Go and do it. As long as the work’s getting done and the clients are happy and everything like that and the bills are getting paid, then I’m happy.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (08:18)

I think there’s a nimbleness in the entrepreneurial business compared to corporate too. mean, corporations spend hours and hours around boardroom tables strategizing and it takes a long time to get any inertia to move things on. I think that the speed of entrepreneurial business is really quite contagious if that’s your thing. ⁓

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (08:41)

100

 

% correct and it’s one of the hardest things to keep within your business as you grow it and as you scale and you become bigger it’s one of the hardest things is to be able to keep that nimbleness and that you know that level of productivity and whatever else you want to call it know that fast action and being able to action things

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (09:01)

It’s the magic of what made them great and then the scale and all the operational processes come in and it loses what was the whole point in the first place.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (09:13)

And I think you can get, well, in my opinion, excuse me, you can get too big. And that’s not for me. mean, we have quite a large number of head count across all our businesses, but I don’t want to be this hugely global corporation where I don’t know who’s working within my business and what skillset they are and what footy team they’re bearing for. That to me is quite important to be able to talk to all our employees on each level.

 

And I think that proves in itself too, we have some very long tenured employees, we have staff that have been with us ⁓ since the beginning and they’re still with us. So I think that speaks volumes in itself.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (09:56)

Yeah. So what lessons stand out the most in terms of getting a startup off the ground?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (10:03)

Don’t say yes to everything. I think that’s one mistake that a lot of entrepreneurs ⁓ make. They say yes to everything, ⁓ which I think in the end, it’s very early. It’s very easy for me to say that now being established and having clients and everything like that. And I can pick and choose the type of clients that we want to chase or we want to work with and things like that. And it’s not as easy in the early days. But I think selling your soul. ⁓

 

to a client and over delivering in the early days can really hurt you ⁓ over the long term because that expectation is set and then your worth is not what it should be ⁓ and then you struggle to upsell based on that and whatnot. So I think saying yes and it’s a mistake we made right in the start because we were keen to get every client we could ⁓ and get every little bit of revenue at the door. So we were happy to say yes to anyone and I think

 

looking back on it now, there’s probably about 10 clients that I wouldn’t have taken on again, ⁓ just because of certain circumstances and stuff like that. I think saying yes to people, ⁓ think it needs to be a very considered approach. Stick to your guns, stick to your worth, stick to your values. I think that’s pretty important in those early days, I think. ⁓ And if you can do that, it’s like ⁓ working through a bad economy. If you can work through a bad economy and

 

and hold your business and bring it out the other side, you’re going to be much stronger for it on the other side.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (11:34)

Yeah, I think that’s right. So having worn the hat of both founder and investor, how’s that shaped your view on how you assess opportunities today?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (11:47)

So we always look at the founder first. When I say we, I’m talking about myself and Alex and Adam, my business partners, but we always look at the founder first and what type of person or people they are. And I think the biggest misconception around entrepreneurship and founders and starting a business and everything like that over the last

 

10 years has been this hustle culture. And the hustle culture of, you you having to wake up at 5 a.m. and have a cold blunge and, you know, and then grind all day and things like that. I’m like…

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (12:27)

I’m going to blame you guys for that.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (12:29)

Yeah,

 

well, that’s fine. That’s fine. That’s fine. You know, and look, I have a sauna and I enjoy sauna and what I’m not a plunge for a cold plunge, but it’s not it’s not, you know, this hustle culture that is is brought in into entrepreneurship is really distracting, I think, to what, you know, founders and the true the true core of a founder and what they should be like. So I always, you know, I like to

 

you know like to invest and we like to work with honest people, transparent people ⁓ I don’t want to know and I don’t need to know on your socials that you got up at 5am and and did a cold plunge and a run and then you and then you did your emails that’s I don’t to me to me that’s you know can be can be very off-putting yeah so we looked like to look at the really the the who the people are who the person and what their background is you know

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (13:23)

How do you do that due diligence, Dan? How do you actually get to know them?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (13:27)

You speak to them. You speak to them. I won’t invest in business. We won’t go near a business. We have two very core principle frameworks that we work around when we invest. One is that we need to be able to add ourselves as a group, need to be able to add value to the business. We don’t like to be a passive investor. We like to be involved. And depending on what the startup or the business requires, we like to be able to fill a role and add value where we can.

 

So we don’t like to just throw money at things and then sit back and let someone else do it. We want to make sure that we can be part of the team and add some value to the journey if we can. And then two, it’s all about the founder. If we can’t sit down and like I said, I like to say break bread with the founder and have a meal, have a drink, have a beer, whatever it may be, and really chat and really get to know who they are, their family, you know.

 

where they’ve come from, know, what sort of upbringing or those things all, all, you it does, it does, you know, it really does. And I think not a lot of people sit down and actually get into the nitty gritty of it. It’s great that you might have the next AI startup, whatever it is, but you know, what’s your family like? You know, do you have children? know, to me, to me, you know, that’s, you know, and I don’t want to know why you want to

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (14:29)

love you a lot.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (14:53)

you know, gender, stereotypia at all, but anything like that. But like, you know, a woman who has three children and also is involved in the startup, to me is a very worthwhile risk to take on investment business if she can do all of that. You know,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (15:10)

Juggle all of that,

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (15:12)

⁓ You just go back and you look at, I like to term you coming from good stock. I like to know what people’s parents are like, what their family was like, things like that. You meet a lot of people who, I mean, I came from very middle class. My mom was a teacher, my father was a police, I have two brothers, and they’re quite successful in their own rights, both of them.

 

⁓ We had good values instilled in us. We all had law mowing jobs or paper delivery jobs early on in life. We all worked at Safeway back in the early days and whatnot. ⁓ My mom came from the country, so she brought a lot of good country value with her and her bigger family. My dad was a policeman, so he had all that sort of…

 

respect the law and everything like that, which I think is very important. you know, I would like to think that I’m, you know, a good investment for ⁓ a potential ⁓ investor. And I like to sort of go around and try and find people like that behind great ideas, because I think, you know, the other ones that are investors, sorry, entrepreneurs will make mistakes, business people will make mistakes, money will be lost. ⁓ Startups won’t get off the ground and everything like that. But I think

 

if it’s all done with good intentions, with the right people, I think that gives the best opportunity to get off the ground. And we’ve lost money on investments and that happens as part of the journey.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (16:48)

Yeah, and I would say equally to an entrepreneur to be doing the due diligence back on the people that they’re looking to get into bed with. And I say that whether you’re a candidate going through an employment process to join an organization and people complain about how many times they have to meet or how many people they have to meet. And I say that’s actually the good scenario. You want to be able to lift the lid.

 

and get to know who you’re getting in bed with. I think all of that works both ways and it’s critical that it works both ways.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (17:23)

It’s 100%. And you know, knowing your background day and you know, I was listening to you on the James Stewart podcast, you know, the other morning to like, you know, how you how you have to operate in that space. And we have a recruitment agency, the good crowd, and Ben and Arby and the team that run that they spend a lot of time making sure that you know, the candidate knows who they’re interviewing for and vice versa and things like that, because you can’t just mash these people together and hope it all works on paper, it’s not going to work because a lot of

 

synergies there and you know I’ve had the same thing employing people over the years you know we’ve got to make sure that we’re bringing the right person ⁓ into the ecosystem, into the culture that we’ve built or that we’re trying to build you know and it’s you know it’s like trying to you know put a puzzle together at the entire time but that’s the same yeah like you know any founder out there needs to be doing the research on the investors because a lot of different type of investors out there too you know.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (18:23)

Some might want to invest to build and some might want to lean it down to sell it at a maximum profit and that looks very different.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (18:32)

PE companies, private equity, want to come in and flip around, turn around. They’ll be looking over your shoulder the entire time. They want to take a lot of equity off the table. Especially when you’re in that very early stage, founding, you want some very founder friendly ⁓ investment terms. ⁓ And you’re probably not going to find that through a PE company, but you will find that through like a high net worth individual who looks at it goes, hey, this is a great idea. Yeah, I’m keen to give you some money, but I also want to value, I can bring you my networks here and I can help you with this and help you with that.

 

and not take a lot of equity off the table because I know if it gets to going where it needs to go then that little bit of equity they get at start will be worth much more down the track anyway.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (19:13)

Yeah,

 

that’s right. So in balancing sort of burnout and balance, probably two things entrepreneurs really do struggle with because the hard yards to get something off the ground and particularly if you’re passionate about it and it’s your baby, you’re inclined to really get into the weeds. What’s your experience taught you though about being sustainable on an ongoing and longer term?

 

on the basis of energy and output and commitment.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (19:44)

First of all, have a good partner. Whether you have a good wife, a good husband, you need a good partner and they need to understand what you’re doing. I’m very lucky in the fact that my wife was very understanding and she’s been along for the journey, the highs and the lows. And she’s still here today, which is amazing. you know, she’s, we don’t have children, but she’s, you know, she has her own sort of high pressure corporate job herself. So, you know, to,

 

to coincide that with the journey that I, and I’m not just taking myself on it, I’m taking her on it with me. So, to be part of that. ⁓ The other thing that I learned along the way is ⁓ you need to look after yourself physically. That is one of the biggest things that ⁓ I learned along the way. I think, suddenly enough, I you and I used to, I still train with Will, I believe you used to train with Will.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (20:40)

used to change with Will, yeah, not anymore. I’m in the old people’s gym now. what I call Kesa, no offence to Kesa, but I do call it

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (20:50)

We

 

should be there as well. But anyway, ⁓ so but we’ll one thing will will taught me in those ⁓ in the early days of training with him is, is he’s not so much about getting in there to move weights for the sake of moving weights, it was to get in there to move your body and get your mind going. And that was, you know, if a good a really good gym session or run or walk or whatever it may be physical exercise, right?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (21:13)

You’ve got to build it into your schedule. It’s a non-negotiable.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (21:17)

Yeah,

 

after, So I, I, I do, I train three times a week just in the gym. Nothing crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I also walk an average of 12,000 steps a day, but I build that.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (21:23)

As

 

⁓ on the same track Dan, it’s exactly same. But weight training and resistance training is an absolute must, particularly as we get older. And mentally it opens up your mind after you leave your desk or whatever meetings you’ve been in.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (21:47)

Yeah, and the third thing that I found out of my journey too is just be careful around alcohol, alcohols, even if you’re just a social drinker, you know, it just, can vary, it can give you a lot of brain fog. And people don’t notice that. you know, I remember at the start of 2020 before we even knew what the pandemic was, I actually

 

made a New Year’s resolution to give up drinking for the year. Because I just had this inkling that 2020 was going to be a big year for me, for my business, everything like that. So I’m like, you know what, I don’t want that distraction. So I gave up drinking. Well, it was fantastic. And everyone just thought it was, how can you not be drinking? We’re all sitting at home doing nothing for that entire year. How can you not be drinking and things like that?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (22:30)

What did that feel like?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (22:42)

Um, I just, I, the clarity that it gives you was unbelievable. I wasn’t a drinker beforehand. You know, I’d go out to dinner, we’d have a bottle of wine, you know, whatever. I’ve never been a big beer drinker, I might have a bottle of wine or a cocktail or whatever it may be. But I did notice after that year, um, after 2020, um, when I did start, you know, I’ll pick up drinking and that it had reduced right down. It reduced right down to the fact that I hardly drink now.

 

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (23:12)

And it’s not until you take something out that you know, and I know I’ve done much the same and it’s only the occasional drink in a social setting and the wine industry is probably struggling with a lot of people making the same decision though because we’re not drinking at home or drinking as much.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (23:33)

We see that through the pubs that we’ve been involved in over the journey into like, you know, the intake of alcohol has dropped considerably.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (23:39)

As an investor, you subtly looking at all of these things in, so I mean, I, I think going out to dinner, yeah, cause I think going out to dinner is never just going out to dinner. think, you know, you’re, you’re clearly being assessed in that process of how you handle yourself. Is, that not the case?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (24:00)

I look for the party bit. I look for the party bit because the party bit, you know, I’ve seen that over my journey, you know, I spent my early 20s and whatnot in nightclubs and as everyone else did, you can tell things and tell those things about people. And I want to make sure that people are asking for money or for investment for the right reasons too, not that it’s going to.

 

fuel a lifestyle over here and what not. And I think that’s regardless of the lifestyle that fuels if it’s drugs or alcohol or, you know, fast cars or whatever. think there’s a there’s a time to have all that. But, you know, I think you need to show you being respectful and transparent with the money that’s been given to you to run a business. like I’ve seen so many insolvencies over the last three or four years, businesses that have gone into administration or liquidation.

 

And you see the amount of wages that directors are paying themselves and tax bills that they’re running up. I’m just, my mind boggles at some of that. the businesses that are two or three years old and the directors are taking $250,000 a year out. Plus there’s a Tesla in there. It’s unbelievable.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (25:13)

I started with the wrong raisin.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (25:15)

Exactly, exactly. I mean, I sat on $50,000 a year for the first seven years, if not more. So, you you’re getting into it for the wrong reasons, I think.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (25:27)

Okay. Well coming up, we’re going to talk about the gender divide in the startup world and what’s shifting it and what isn’t and why most investable founders typically don’t look like the stereotype.

 

If you’re loving the Power of Women podcasts, be sure to jump onto our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode. I’m talking with Dan Copsey, entrepreneur, investor and advocate of women in business. Dan, let’s talk about the gender divide in entrepreneurship. From where you sit as an investor, what do you see as the biggest challenges?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (26:10)

Factful there’s more male founders out there than female founder. Yeah, that’s just how it is and you know, right wrong or indifferent. That’s just how it is. I think My advice to I’ve done some work I’ve do a lot of work with female founders and and even just in advisory positions and probably the the ladies that I you know that I’m just advising for and I have one particular

 

company that I won’t mention who they are but they’re fantastic these two ladies right they are in the HR space they have one has two children the other one has three children one of them her husband’s another founder and he’s going to running a tech company and the other one they’ve a lot going on and I just look at these two and I go you are very intelligent super intelligent very driven right but lack confidence in a room and

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (26:56)

going on.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (27:09)

And I look around and I just like, guys, I would listen to what you guys have to say all day long every day. think you’re both fantastic. Like, and I know other people would once you get out there. I really think sometimes, you know, I just it’s a it’s a real lack of confidence sometimes, which but then I started looking at it go, why is that? So maybe but then I was I was in ⁓ a networking group with these with one of these ladies.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (27:11)

extraordinary.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (27:40)

And I looked around at the rest of the group and this lady, she probably very similar age to me, know, sort of mid forties. And then I’ll look around at the rest of the group and they were like quite older than us, you know, and a lot of a lot very male dominated. And I’m like, right. And I just saw how those sort of blokes acted in that scenario. They were talking over everyone over their opinions and this and that, whatever. And then you just see ⁓ the this lady

 

⁓ just sort of, you know, just sit there and listen and just disappear into it. I thought you’ve, you’re more intelligent than these guys and you’ve got more to say than these guys. These guys are just verbal diarrhea almost like coming up with what they’re saying and nothing original, no original thoughts and whatnot. I you’ve got all this you should. And I actually pulled her aside afterwards. I said, you have to interject yourself in there and just really, you know, get the elbows out and push through. And I said, it’s really sad that you have to do that.

 

But that’s how it is, right? You’ve got my support and I’m sure you have other people’s support. But, you know, and then I watched this same lady in another environment where the general age was probably a lot lower than our age. you know, not Gen Z, but sort of that millennial in between there. I’m actually millennial. I was 1981, but I call myself Gen X because I just amused.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (29:02)

I’m actually a boomer Dan, but there you go.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (29:06)

I like the music generation X is better, so I’ll try to do anyway.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (29:10)

Well,

 

I’m on the cusp.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (29:13)

But

 

there are millennials in this group and it was funny because she really got into that group and could really, you know, and she really dominated, but was part of the conversation.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (29:22)

But

 

she felt intimidated generationally.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (29:25)

Yeah, and I just thought is this this is this a thing and and it makes a lot of sense like when you go back and I mean listening to some of your stories the other day with James Stewart like you know you’ve probably had some of that and I listened to it was funny that same morning I listened to your podcast I listened to Mark Boris interview Ida butt rose and

 

Yeah, it’s great. And she’s like no nonsense lady who but she’s she’s been shaped like that over the years of dealing with, you know, the Packers and whatnot is older.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (29:58)

circumstances start to create the character so maybe maybe what you’re observing is somebody who just hasn’t had enough runs on the board yet to shape her

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (30:07)

Yeah, but you see it around a lot. ⁓ know, and I know we’re going to talk about Jess and Bri in a moment too, those two ladies are fantastic. Like, back those guys every day of the week. They are just unbelievable. it’s almost, ⁓ it would be very threatening to be in a room with them if you are sort of like ⁓ anyone, female or male, that was sort of, you know,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (30:34)

I think a very strong, confident and then a tall female is more intimidating to me than any male could ever be.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (30:44)

100 % 100 % % Yeah, yeah. Look, I just, you know, I want to support the founder, male or female based on who they are and what they’re bringing to the table. But a lot of the time, you know, when we do come across female founders, you really look at them, know, are they a mother? What else have they got going on in life? Because females carry the majority of the household with them.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (30:46)

always felt that way.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (31:14)

you know, traditionally, like always have, right, you know, ⁓ you know, if they have children, they’re dealing with, you know, if they’ve got three children, they’re dealing with three sets of emotions, three sets of personalities, not to mention their husband, you know, add a fourth one into the mix. So they’re carrying all that. Then, you know, there’s a lot of things to do in the household and whether the household is split in the mail helps with, you know, the housework or whatever, however it looks, you know, they’re bearing a lot more.

 

Yeah. And you just think, and you want to do a startup on the back of that, like 100 % I’m backing you every day of the week. Cause you know, like anyone who has, I think you’re slightly insane. That’s great. Cause you need a little bit of that to be an entrepreneur. Let’s go. Let’s say I’m on board with that every day of the week. I it’s just fantastic. I mean, I watch it. My mom wasn’t an entrepreneur, but she, she raised three boys. She worked full time the entire time. Um, and you know, everything around my dad, you know, he was

 

like I mean he was always, my dad was very good. was always around the house. Yeah but he did a lot of shift work and very stressful you know and like you know he was in the highway patrol and whatnot so a lot of there’s a lot of trauma issues and whatnot that he would have experienced every time so a lot to bring home too you know into the home environment and then for the mother to sort of like you know navigate all of that too so there’s lot going on but then I thought well my mom could have probably run a business very easily.

 

on top of everything I actually did.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (32:41)

Maybe that’s where your genes have come from.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (32:45)

I’m

 

dead. But you know, it’s, I just, yeah, I just, I just think, ⁓ just, sometimes you just, and I see them, I see it more often than I would like, these very intelligent entrepreneurial women, and they’re just not putting themselves out there as much as they should, I think.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (33:04)

I’ve had a number of podcast conversations about this. I’ve got, we’ve just done one with with Shori Archibald and I did one at the end of last year with Carly Lyon and it is a common point that so many people are good at putting their brand or their business out there but not themselves. So it is a very, very common point. But I mean we talk about

 

⁓ female founders, the difficulties in raising capital and the reluctance they find at various turns of individuals investing in them. But conversely, what strengths or differentiators do you see women bring to the table that they should be putting forward in their pitch or in their deck or just the whole

 

storytelling of why invest in me as a female founder.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (34:04)

Well, I think just to go back on what we just talked about, like I wouldn’t laugh if I saw a female founders resume and says I have three kids and this is what I do with these children and that’s a job. That’s a ⁓ part of my career. Like, because I would just go, there are some serious life skills in there that you are developing and putting to use. Right. So that’s a whole job and career. So, you know, I would, you know, I would encourage, I would encourage female founders to talk about, to talk about that sort of stuff.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (34:24)

That’s job one.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (34:34)

being a mother, being, you know, all those sort of things that they have to do. That’s the life skills that you developed through during doing that is unbelievable. And so I think that’s one of the big things that people don’t think about when they look at females.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (34:48)

So bring the whole person to the table.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (34:50)

Bring

 

the whole person to the table because that is what essentially well from where we sit that’s what we would invest in. That whole person. You know bring it to the table who you are right because there’s going to be times right when and I’ve seen it there’s going to be times when it does get too much right you know kids might be acting up or there might be a problem with the kids or whatever and everything it’s can be extremely overwhelming right and you’ve got you’re going to have moments where it gets too much right.

 

But you need to, the team around you needs to know like, hey, that’s, I’m not just here being an entrepreneur and a founder. I’ve also got this whole career going at home that I’m dealing with from, you know, the time I stop here and go there. And as an entrepreneur and a founder, especially the way we deal across the globe at the moment, we’re a very global community now, you know, there’s no time to switch off.

 

being an entrepreneur, there’s no time to switch off. you know, people are trying to get at you all days of the week, know, and technology allows Adam and whatever else. So, you know, just to see these women go and manage that and manage home, you’re just like, wow, that’s, you know, it’s unbelievable. So and you just have to, I think as a, as a male, right, involved with these female type founders, these female founders, you have to be very supportive of that. You have to recognize that.

 

and you can’t go, oh, what do mean? You’ve got to go home and deal with the kids or can’t someone else do that or can’t you get a nanny or whatever? You’ve got to be supportive of that. If you don’t realize that when you’re going in, then you’re in the wrong investment working whatever relation.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (36:27)

I think conversely the entrepreneur needs to put it all on the table up front because you can go in and declare everything, it’s very difficult to try and add it in after the event because that looks like you’ve been withholding. So I think laying it bare from the outset is the only way to go.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (36:48)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, you know, I work with a founder at the moment. She’s a founder in the construction space. She’s an amazing lady. ⁓ And she and her partner ⁓ have just had a little baby. So they’ve got a little baby girl. And she’s working in an industry which is so male dominated and so skewed against her from the start. It’s unbelievable. ⁓ And then she’s also a mother.

 

And she got a very supportive partner. He’s fantastic, right? But he he’s not the entrepreneurial drive that she is, you know, and I just I watch her go and I you are unbelievable. You’re unbelievable. And when I first met her, she was like she’d had a bad day and I met her through a networking group and she walked in and she sort of just unloaded on the entire group. And I remember grabbing her at the dinner afterwards and say, hey, don’t give up. Don’t give up. I said the reason why they are treating you like that is because they’re scared of you. That is it.

 

They’re scared of you and how you operate and how quickly you will make them all look silly. That’s just that’s just the truth. And I’ve been in that industry. been in the construction space and I’ve seen what female entrepreneurs and how quickly they could dominate that space. Right. And said, you’re you’re copying a lot because people are scared of you in that space. Don’t give up. And then we formed a very good friendship. Yeah. And I was just like, you know, just don’t give up. Whatever you do, don’t give up because then they win. Right. And it’s you know, that’s

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (38:07)

Good observation. ⁓

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (38:15)

And it can be a game for a lot of people. don’t realize, they don’t realize to, you know, when you get those male dominated industries and you start putting a lot of pressure on a female, especially a female founder, she has to go home and she’s got to deal with that. But then she might have children. So she’s got to deal with all that. Like it’s a huge emotional load to take on, you know, professionally, personally, the whole life.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (38:38)

Yeah, it’s good training ground, Some of those badly behaved blokes in the workplace might be a walk in the park.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (38:46)

It’s a great skill to have. It’s a great skill to have, you know. So, you know, they become unbelievable negotiators because they go from negotiating with a four-year-old in the morning to negotiating with a 44-year-old in the afternoon.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (38:59)

But there might not be a lot of difference sometimes.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (39:01)

I’ll win both those arguments, I think with a cookie. So yeah, it’s just like, you know, I just, there are so many, so many wonderful, super intelligent, super driven female founders, especially in the Australian ecosystem, especially in Melbourne, right? That I don’t think get the exposure that the kudos. Yeah, it’s amazing, you know.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (39:28)

And you’re working with a few of those at the moment. You’re working with a couple of powerhouse female founders, those behind Frank Boddy and Willow and Blake. What did they get right that other female founders could learn from?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (39:44)

They just never took no for an answer. two, they are fantastic. They’re like yin and yang. Jess is unbelievable. She’s, you know, the penultimate out there, you know, found a leader. ⁓ know, she’s on panels. She has a great network and she’s out there and people, you know, listen to her and value what she has to say. then,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (40:08)

Distinct

 

to the woman who wasn’t confident to speak up, Jess has been visible.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (40:13)

Yeah, correct. then, Bri, Bri is a bit more introverted. She’s probably, you know, she’s the operational brain behind everything and works in behind the scenes. But again, those two have developed such a following. And I’ve watched them, I watched them, I watched them run an event recently, you know, it was fantastic. And you know, they have the ear of some wonderful, extremely powerful

 

people, you know, they had the editor in vogue at their recent event and she was just hanging off every word that they had to say. you ⁓ know, they just, you know, when the opportunity came to invest in their business and be a director alongside them, at first thing I said to them, when we sort of jumped on our first zoom to sort of all meet each other properly and have a chat and, you know, sort of get to know each other.

 

You know, it was all about, you know, I wanted to know about families and whatnot and their partners and what they all do and everything and their children and everything like that. And then I said to them, because they asked me, why do you want to be involved? said, why wouldn’t I want to be involved? Why wouldn’t I want to be involved? Look at you two. You’re like, you’re unbelievable.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (41:27)

So it was people first that attracted you as an investor versus the idea?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (41:31)

Yep, yep, 100%. Look, I’ve been around a long time. Their work speaks for itself. And I think not what they touch turns to gold, but I know they know how to work a product very well and get it to market. know, Frank Body started off as a case. ⁓ They started Frank Body as a case study for Willow and Blake. Frank Body turned into a hundred million dollar business. They started it just because they didn’t have any. They wanted to get a lot more work in that.

 

genre for Willow and Blake, but they didn’t actually have any runs on the board yet. So they went and started a small, you know, know, business and turned into a hundred million dollar business. mean,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (42:11)

Yeah, well, that’s a hell of a side hustle, isn’t it?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (42:15)

This is

 

last side hustle and you just watch them and you know, they have they have they both have both have two children. I’m pretty sure they both have two children. Yeah. You know, they have fantastically supportive husbands ⁓ and you know, but they make time for their family and they make time for ⁓ their professional side of things. And one of the first things I did with Jess early days is right. Cool. When can I not contact you? When is family time? Tell me when family time is so can respect that.

 

And she’s like, oh yeah, cool. is great. Cool. Well, I’ll just have a little note here and I, you if I’m trying to get hold of you or whatever, and it’s family time, then I’m not going to bug you. So, you know, cause that’s, um, I think that’s very important. Like I said earlier, you got to respect that you’re getting involved with, you know, um, female founders like that. need to respect that they have this other career going on outside.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (43:05)

So I think in listening to that Dan, my takeaway for anybody listening is you’ve got to find a marriage between yourself and your investor because if you’re the opposite who’s on the phone at 6 in the morning and 10 at night, you’re probably not the right investor for the woman with family life and boundaries as well.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (43:34)

Correct, yeah. An investor-founder relationship is almost like another personal relationship. You need to find the right person, you need to find the right team. They need to add value to your life, just like a husband or a wife would add value to their partner’s life. You’ve got to work well together. That’s exactly how an investor relationship should work. Don’t take on the investor just because they’ve got money.

 

Bring an investor on because they value what you’re doing, they value the type of person you are, and they can add value to what you’re doing, not just money, not just

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (44:08)

Yeah, that’s important. So for those who’ve already launched a business, are the key signals that a business is ready to scale? And then how do you know when it’s time to go out and seek that external investment?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (44:24)

I think it all works down to the growth plans. We talked a little bit before Simon Sinek and how he looks at the goal and then works back from that. A lot of people work the other way around. I think to really pinpoint those points in your startup where you want it to, you know, this is the next stage. This is, I’m going to hire X amount of head count here and so on and so forth. think to have those goals clearly set out ⁓ is really, really important.

 

It’s depending on the product and the service and whatnot. It’s really hard to know when to scale. mean, like, you know, I take a lot of my businesses. I want to go from zero to hero very quickly. ⁓ And it’s all in our game in the agency world, like recruitment and advertising. It’s all about revenue. But the models changed considerably. Like we’re doing we’re doing a lot more revenue now with a lot less headcount, you know, and that’s not because of AI or anything like that. It’s just because we’re being smarter.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (45:22)

Times

 

have changed.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (45:23)

Yeah, and that’s just it. So to have those revenue points and be prepared, I think a lot of people are too scared to take on big opportunities as well. Like, know, fake it till you make it. You know, that’s, you know, I think, you know, if Alex and I and Adam and the team sort of hadn’t had that motto early days, fake it till you make it, we probably wouldn’t be where we are today. We said yes to a lot of things we probably shouldn’t have said yes to, but we made it work behind the scenes.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (45:53)

how to do it afterwards. Yeah, and I think that’s a classic entrepreneurial trade. mean, the opportunities there, take it and work out the mechanics after the event.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (46:03)

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, those big opportunities can come on. I think you just got to you got to know when the right opportunities in front of you, because that’s one that’s going to make you scale, you know, and take you to the next level. And then you scale along the way. Scaling is not all about just putting on headcount. It’s not always about just getting new clients and whatnot. It’s, you know, it’s about, you know, making sure that underlying operations in your business are working well, know, the finances working well, you’ve got enough funding, you know, if you want to take on investment.

 

Take on investment in the right frame of mind and the with the right attitude. I think don’t just take on investment, you know, because, you know, someone so wants to invest in you or you want to take some money off the table. What is that angle? Are you building whatever you’re building to sell it? Right. Cool. Well, then you might take some money off on the table along the way to sort of de-risk yourself. ⁓ But there’s a lot of sharks in the water out there, especially at the moment.

 

You know, they’ll want to take a lot of equity off you very quickly and people can get really lost in the fact that, cool, we’re half a million dollars, but maybe you’re losing 75. Yeah, So just find founder-friendly terms. That’s, know, someone who doesn’t want to take a lot of equity at the start or they want convertible notes or they’re going to…

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (47:10)

Thanks for

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (47:23)

sweat equity is a really good thing in the market at the moment we do a lot of that too rather than put cash in we’re putting services in so there’s a lot of that.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (47:31)

I always love that because I think that shows the intention from both sides.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (47:36)

That’s skin in the game, you know, for everyone and that’s important.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (47:39)

Yeah,

 

yeah, brilliant. Well, Dan, thank you so much because I think it’s a, it’s often a world that is unknown to somebody starting out a business and whilst they understand investment and is probably the next stage in knowing how to approach it is not necessarily something that’s in everybody’s direct playbook. So,

 

I’ve got a couple of rapid fire questions for you if I could to wrap up today. One word that defines a great founder.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (48:20)

Honest.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (48:22)

Love that. Biggest red flag in a pitch.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (48:25)

arrows that go up.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (48:27)

And the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (48:36)

I’m going give you two here. So one was from an older gentleman that I know sort of family circles and he said to me early days, he goes, always be prepared to do every role in the business. Don’t hire someone until you absolutely necessarily have to be prepared to do every role in the business. And which has stuck with me a long way through my journey, which is kind of cool. And then the other one was you don’t know you’re getting bad advice until you get good advice. So always seek out the good advice.

 

And I think I think more of that is just make sure make sure you you’re not you’re not in a an echo chamber. Make sure you’re taking advice from lots of different angles and process it and you know because everyone’s going to be different. Everyone’s going to have different experiences going lonely on their own. you know some people just have their might have their little advisory board or table one person and that might not be the best advice. Go and seek out advice from everyone. You know and I think a true

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (49:33)

I think that’s life in general.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (49:35)

It is, yeah, and I like this is one thing I do like to hang my hat on is that if anyone reaches out to me for a coffee or a chat or wants to ask a question, I’m all ears for it because there people who did that for me early days and it’s all about returning the favor and I think if you’re a true entrepreneur and you’re true business person and you’ve been on that journey, if you’re not doing that at some point or later on in journey and trying to impart that knowledge backwards or help out, then I don’t think you earn the right to be a true entrepreneur. So you should always be willing to.

 

you up into the community.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (50:06)

Yeah brilliant. Dan thanks so much. If anybody wants to get in touch with you what’s the best way to reach out?

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (50:12)

LinkedIn, LinkedIn hit me up on LinkedIn. My the DMS always open come in. Yeah, as long as you’re not trying to sell me SEO from somewhere around the world. if you start off somewhere else, I’m all open to it.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (50:25)

They

 

clog up my email every day of the week.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (50:29)

Add me on LinkedIn. I’m in Melbourne and Sydney all the time, more than happy to catch up with anyone, jump on a Zoom. ⁓ The best part about what I do is meeting all the wonderful people. your network is your network, as they always say.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (50:43)

Yeah, brilliant. Well, Dan, thank you so much. think the world of business startups is the domain for females. think COVID was the breaking point that saw so many more emerge around the world. And this type of discussion hopefully is helpful for an individual who’s thinking about how you go from that initial embryonic idea and start to build a bigger picture of where you want to go. So thank you so much for joining us.

 

DAN COPSEY [Guest] (51:13)

Thank you for having me on. It’s been wonderful. And I just wanted to say I was humbled listening the other day to your journey on James’s podcast. Oh, thank It was a timing that I came up and I actually reached out to James and said that I was coming on yours and what a small world. But I think you’re doing a wonderful thing and keep up all the good work. think it’s people like you that help open up.

 

⁓ The ecosystem for those founders, and especially those female founders that might lack the confidence and stuff like that, you’re exposing worlds to them that they didn’t know was there. And I think it’s just great for the entrepreneurial community to have people like you putting your content out like this. So well done.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (51:59)

Thank you so much, Dan. Until next time.

 

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: Navigating the Shark-Infested Waters of Investment

05:58 The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Freedom and Challenges

11:47 Assessing Founders: The Human Element in Investment

17:53 Balancing Act: Sustainability in Entrepreneurship

24:53 The Gender Divide in Entrepreneurship: Challenges and Insights

27:40 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Professional Spaces

30:34 The Role of Female Founders in Business

33:31 The Unique Strengths of Female Entrepreneurs

36:48 Balancing Family and Entrepreneurship

39:01 Learning from Successful Female Founders

44:00 Understanding Investment and Scaling Strategies

 

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Find Dan Copsey at:

Website https://dancopsey.com/media/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dancopsey/

 

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