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How to Reset, Rebuild & Rise Stronger After a Major Setback

How to Reset, Rebuild & Rise Stronger After a Major Setback

Insights into how to rebuild & rise stronger.

What happens when the very qualities that built your success almost break you? When you whole identity is wrapped up in your career – your title.

In this episode of the Power Of Women Podcast, Di Gillett sits down with Tess Brouwer, former Virgin Australia executive, now Chief Energy Officer and Co-Founder of Awake Academy to explore what it truly takes to reset, rebuild, and rise stronger after life changes in an instant.

At 32, Tess was a high-performing corporate leader living in Switzerland when a skiing accident left her with a spinal cord injury, Guillain-Barré diagnosis, multiple surgeries and months in rehabilitation. Her identity had been built on performance, drive and achievement. Suddenly, none of that worked.

This is a raw and honest conversation about identity grief, burnout, nervous system overload, emotional resilience and rebuilding self-worth from the ground up.

 

➡️ You’ll Hear :

The life-changing accident that forced Tess to confront her identity

Why high performers ignore red flags – until they can’t

The difference between grit and true resilience

How mental fitness differs from “pushing through”

Why burnout is often a wake-up call, not a weakness

Practical daily resets to regulate your nervous system

The simple question every ambitious woman must ask herself: Am I enjoying my life?

 

Key Takeaways:

The warning signs high performers need to listen to

The hidden cost of tying self-worth to work

How to train your nervous system under pressure

The power of daily micro-resets.

 

Tess said:

“Power is a silent self-trust.”

“If I wasn’t doing a deal or succeeding in something … who am I?”

📖 Read the full transcript of this conversation here.

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (00:02)

Tess, when you hear the words power of women and reflecting on your own experiences, what comes to mind?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (00:09)

 

Di, I love that you asked this question and I just turned 40 on the weekend and I you very much. I’ve been thinking about my word and what will it be for the next decade and I anchored on power, believe it or not, and I anchored on that because for me it’s not power I can rule the world, it’s a deep embodiment of who I am.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (00:16)

Happy birthday!

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (00:38)

And knowing that I’ve done the work, that I’ve found my soul, my dark spots, my triggers, I mean, they’re always unfolding. But the power in that when you know yourself, when you start to love yourself again, when you trust in yourself, which I’ve never had that before, and it’s been a long process for me to get there. So I would say it’s like a power for me is a silent self-trust.

 

and a belief in myself that can ride the waves, can ride the storms, and is a really grounded, beautiful force, which is the divine feminine. And so that to me is the true embodiment of power now for me. So bring on power, hey?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (01:26)

Yay. Brilliant. So what happens when the very qualities that built your success, your drive, your identity, your refusal to stop are actually the same qualities that almost break you? I’m Di Gillett and this is the Power of Women podcast. And if you’re joining us for the first time, what I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience and achievements

 

of women from all walks of life. And this conversation is about pushing through and ignoring some of the signs. And that is a deeply personal conversation for me because I started the beginning of this year, in fact, New Year’s Day, with having a sign, not quite so sure, deciding to listen to it and spent three days.

 

in a hospital in Melbourne in Australia with a suspected heart attack. Now I am absolutely thrilled to say that it didn’t end up being the case, but what it was was the fact that I had pushed too hard and literally run myself into the ground. So to put some more context to this, I am joined today by Tess Brouwer, mental and emotional fitness expert, co-founder of Awake Academy with Lane Beachley.

 

And Tess is the former head of brand partnerships at Virgin Australia. And she’s a woman who rebuilt her life after a life-changing spinal and brain injury. Tess was a high performer in the corporate world. There were big deals, big responsibilities, big identity. Then a skiing accident at 32 changed everything. A spinal injury, Guillain-Barre diagnosis, multiple hospital. ⁓

 

visits, a body that wouldn’t cooperate, and a nervous system in overload. So in a conversation today, we’re going to explore how to reset, rebuild, and rise stronger when your identity fractures. Because the reality is for any of us, life can change in a blink of an eye. Tess Brouwer, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (03:51)

Thank you, Di. When you hear those words being read about you, I’m instantly emotional. I’m instantly back there. Someone said to me the other day, it was actually one of my friends, are you okay? You’re talking about it a lot. And I feel like that’s the true sense of power is, is knowing that it, that trauma and that pain still sits within and you can work through it and you’re comfortable sitting in it.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (04:21)

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (04:22)

I spent so long ignoring myself, my feelings and my emotions and passing them off as, know, well, there’s a war going on. Who am I to experience pain? but yeah, thank you for a beautiful intro, but yeah, know that it’s still hard hearing that because I still am in it.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (04:40)

So all of that emotion is going to come through in our conversation today, Tess. And if there is at any point where you want to call a break, you call a break. Thank Because I get it. Yeah. So could we go back, take us back to the skiing accident? What happened? And more importantly, what happened in the days and the weeks after you realized this wasn’t something you could just ignore and push through?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (05:09)

The truth is, is I knew instantly. So I just moved over to Switzerland and I was like first week, new job, skiing day and went up a black run with the team because that’s what you do when you’re a high performance woman who’s out to impress everyone. And a skier went past me. It was a very, very foggy, like white out up there. And I went straight into the side of a ⁓

 

Ice wall because he had to come down the mountain through And Yeah, I lost both my skis slammed headfirst into the ice wall lost the lost both the skis and just I remember going blank and I remember pins and needles shot through my body and then I just the adrenaline just searched and I just got up laughing trying to kind of overcome what was happening in my in myself and

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (05:40)

because you had no perspective you couldn’t read the ground

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (06:06)

Deep down I knew, I remember thinking, you’ve done something here. But I had to carry on. I had to do what I’ve always done. I don’t want to be the person that’s in shame or the person that’s the troubled one. I just wanted to click back in and keep going. And I did. And I got off the mountain pretty quickly. I just needed to get away cracking headache and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. And it’s not like me to miss a party day.

 

⁓ And I didn’t want to go to the after party. I just needed to go home and go to sleep now when your identity is wrapped up in your work and For context I had just sold out everything and moved to overseas so

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (06:51)

So this was a permanent move to Europe?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (06:57)

I’d signed over my residency to Australia. I was now residing in Switzerland. So the mere thought that something was wrong with me and that I would need any sort of form of medical treatment just wasn’t even a concept to me. So I did what I have always done is I carried on. And that looked like for me is pins and needles up and down my hand, loss of feeling in my shoes.

 

I got in my feet, so I got my mum to send over shoes that I loved in Australia because I felt like I had more feeling in my feet in them.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (07:33)

So you’re already looking for band-aids

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (07:38)

And

 

there was a pivotal moment where I was swimming in Lake Geneva and I was diving through the water and I totally lost feeling in my legs. I remember swimming and I remember thinking, I am going to drown because it’s quite, there’s quite a rapid that goes down there. I’m like, everything in me was get to the edge of this jetty.

 

And I got there and I was holding onto the jetty and I remember thinking, like, if you don’t get up, you’re gonna drown. And like with every ounce of my body, I just pushed myself up and I laid there almost like, you know, when you see a seal flop themselves up onto a jetty and they’re like…

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (08:21)

Yeah, legs working

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (08:23)

legs weren’t working and I was just thinking.

 

And so I do what most normal people do is you get out your phone and you Google your symptoms.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (08:34)

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (08:36)

And it suggested that I had multiple sclerosis, which I thought, well, I can deal with that. Now, if you’re someone who has that, I’m terribly sorry for downplaying that. But in my head, it was the easier thing to capture in my brain because it was something that I could, it was a long term issue that I could deal with when I got back to Australia, you know, when I went back there another time, because I just, didn’t know how to deal with that medical system either.

 

second link like obviously I didn’t even speak French and it was so there was a series of these moments die that were just like I look back on myself and I’m like what were you ignoring I was wetting my pants at work and just going to the shops and buying new ones

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (09:20)

And that was the spinal injury pressing on nerves.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (09:24)

messing on my nerves and what was happening was because my spinal cord was bruised, compressed and swelling, I was going into spinal shock and I didn’t realize it. And people can do incredible things with spinal cord injury and not know about it. And they can still, you can still experiencing loss of feeling in hands and all of that. They’re quite like in quote unquote normal experiences as you know, with your back.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (09:49)

I do.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (09:50)

that was spinal shock and then your body’s starting to shut down and and that’s when I went to hospital because I just thought I can’t deal with this any longer and I said to them I hit my head they ignored that and they sent me home with an anxiety tablet. Fortunately I was sent straight back to hospital and the next morning for an MRI and at that point they just said look you’re have to be an inpatient because we’ve got to work out what’s wrong with you there’s something going on so.

 

lumbar punctures, being electrocuted, like actually multiple lumbar punctures which is like possibly

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (10:25)

Very

 

painful. haven’t had one but I’ve witnessed a family member having it and it was unforgettable.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (10:35)

Yeah, it’s a pain that you can’t explain. And I say this with grace to myself at this moment, but I still didn’t call home. I still didn’t call my mom or my family. Shame. Total shame. How could I have ignored my body? How have I gotten to this point? And I was getting really bad. Like I remember my speech

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (11:02)

How long is it now since the accident? of Okay. Yes.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (11:04)

Come on.

 

aggressively getting worse. And

 

then I was an hour away, they decided that I had Guillain-Barré disease, which is sort of like a category that they put me in and thought that’s what you’ve got and you’re an hour away from getting a blood transfusion, it’s time you call home. But we want to do one more MRI to completely make sure that you’re all right. And I went down into the MRI machine and I think it was like my third one because they put dye through me and all of those sorts of potes and prods.

 

And the radiologist in broken English said to me, you hit your head, you hit your head. And I said, yes, like that’s what I’ve been saying. Like I know that that’s when my body changed. You know, that moment, right? It wasn’t dramatic at the time, but I knew that that was the

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (11:51)

aggressive from there. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (11:54)

And because I was fit and like I just did not have anything like that before that moment. And I said, yeah, I hit my head and he said, you have a spinal cord injury. And I just went bang. And yet the penny dropped and they gave my mom 24 hours to get over to Switzerland. I had to call her and say, mom, I’m okay. But yeah, I’m and

 

Yeah, she got over there and it was one of the most heartbreaking moments ever is seeing my mum walk into the hospital and her daughter is there broken and quite frightened really.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (12:35)

As was she.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (12:37)

But I didn’t grasp the high percentage of people who have this surgery. Well, not high, but it’s low risk, but it’s still a high number.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (12:45)

Anything

 

to do with your spine is scary. I get it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (12:49)

I

 

didn’t realise the risk that you could actually, like it’s millimetres and my spinal surgeon said to me, you know, you’re lucky, you’re very lucky, I’ve seen scans like this and people are totally paralysed. And so yeah, I went into surgery and what I thought was going to be an eight week surgery turned out to be, I went back, I had the surgery, stayed in hospital for two weeks, went back to Australia to recover, which I thought would be eight weeks.

 

I thought that’s okay, I can get back to work. Because again, that’s all I thought about was just getting back, getting back. And I was back at the hospital, I was an outpatient at Royal North Shore Hospital in Northern Sydney, which has got one of the best spinal wards in Australia there. And they, I went in for just a routine.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (13:37)

and

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (13:43)

meeting I guess with my spinal surgeon and the physiotherapist and like my whole dream team and they just said you need to sit down and we’ve given you, I had another MRI and they said your spine is swelling and the surgery hasn’t worked and you’re have to go have another surgery again. And again that’s when the world shuts down on you and you fall apart because I mean for someone who has

 

wanted to be a high flyer and climb the corporate ladder and have all of this identity, I knew that that would be it. There would be no job, no home, no clothes, no money, nothing. It was all gone.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (14:21)

You couldn’t see beyond it at that point. was, it was, it was like, we’re done here.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (14:27)

Yeah, that was it. it was like, I truly like there were so many moments where I didn’t realize how serious it was. So even after the surgery, like the second surgery, and just before I went in, it was like 10, maybe 8, 8pm at night, something like that. And my surgeon got called in and he said, Look, I’ve been operating all day, my team are really tired, I’m not going to operate with there’s only one surgery.

 

ward open and I’m not going to do this at night if you don’t absolutely need it.” He said, do you understand? And I said, yeah, I understand. He goes, it’s going to be uncomfortable for you, but we have, like, I have to make sure that your health is number one. And so I went down for the MRI and I came back out and like your worst fears in that moment are realized when you said we’re opening up the surgery, you’re going in tonight.

 

So it was sort

 

of a bit like that, like a snowball that just got worse and worse and worse as time went on. And even more dramatically, like I was getting prepped for surgery and a heart attack came in. So I hope that person survives so badly, but it meant I was then left told that they couldn’t wait, rushed in for surgery only to be pulled out. And then I had to wait for the next slot.

 

which was another 24 hours later because there was another surgery planned. So it was just insane die. then I went very

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (15:54)

frightening. mean very, very frightening because you don’t know what the prognosis is at the end.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (16:01)

And you can retrospectively look back on these things. And I remember waking up in the spinal ward and them saying, it’s not two weeks here. You’re going to go, like we’ve got to get you recovered. And then you’re going to ride. And I said, what’s ride? Like it’s a, it’s one of Australia’s best rehab hospitals and you’ll be there for three months. And I just thought, am I living life?

 

Is this me? Is this what I’ve worked so hard to be?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (16:34)

And I had nowhere near the result, albeit it was a ski accident, but it was in my childhood that came back to haunt me in 2021, which put me in hospital during COVID and put me in hospital for two weeks. And I came out and I couldn’t walk without holding on to my husband’s arm and I’d gone in super fit.

 

and was at a point in my life where I was gonna be fabulous as I approached 60. And I couldn’t walk and I can remember it was late September and I said, I’m gonna be back to walking 10 Ks by the December. And I was nowhere near it and that’s when I was like, I need to take some drastic steps. But I have a some understanding of what happens when

 

everything suddenly is turned on its head and the simple things in life that we take for granted that are wrapped up in our health and wellbeing suddenly are thrown out and we’re staring down the barrel of an alternative universe that doesn’t look so great. Frightening isn’t it?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (17:53)

Frightening, totally frightening.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (17:57)

So do you know how much of your identity was wrapped up in Tess Brouwer, the corporate executive?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (18:06)

Well, at that point it was Tess Maroney and it was all of it. Every single part of my identity was made up of my work and we laugh about it, but Lane Beachley’s husband is Kurt Pangeli from InXS and he’s, I mean his phone is Tess from Virgin. In fact, sometimes I’ll still have, I’ll email someone and I’ll say, Hey, it’s Tess from Virgin. you remember? Like, cause I still build this like absolute identity that’s wrapped around

 

what you do not who you are and I never went like my mum was a very and is still a very grounded spiritual person but you don’t really want to hear it from mum and I didn’t like

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (18:37)

Mmm.

 

No,

 

anything that close to home doesn’t land unfortunately.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (18:53)

Yeah, but I realised like I had done like high performance leadership courses and all of those sorts of stuff, but that’s just training you to be a better performer and not a better human. so I was just, I was lost that if I wasn’t performing, who was I?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (19:11)

Yeah, if I wasn’t Tess from Virgin, who was I?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (19:14)

If

 

I wasn’t doing a deal or succeeding in something or being invited somewhere, who am I? And a lot of my friends were getting married, engaged, pregnant, second baby, like creating these truly beautiful lives. And that was the gaping hole in mine, was I had no one to hug at night. I had no one.

 

to hold me up out of the shower when I couldn’t walk. Like had my mom and my family of course, but it even accentuated that whole fact that, wow, I’ve given everything to work and now I don’t need that.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (20:00)

Yeah, so can you share with us, and I appreciate this is an emotional question, but can you share with us how that changed or impacted your sense of self? Can you take yourself back and describe what that actually felt like?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (20:17)

Yeah, I mean like it felt like I was alone in life. No one will ever understand the pain that I’m going through. Now in a ward of 24 beds I was the only walker in a spinal ward. So I was alone there too. I had so much guilt. Survivors guilt.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (20:40)

because the person in the bed next door couldn’t walk.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (20:44)

Sorry, I tried to check myself out two or three times and give my bed to someone else. And that is true test across my whole life. will give the shirt off my back to anyone apart from myself.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (20:58)

So you felt like an imposter being in the room? I relate to that. I felt like an imposter when I was in the heart ward at Christmas time because I was sitting up feeling great and the girl in the bed next door had had a pacemaker and the woman across from me wasn’t in a great way. So I get that feeling, but we’re mad. We need to listen.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (21:00)

Totally.

 

We’re mad. And it was the surgeon that said, if you don’t listen to yourself, if you don’t listen to us, and if you don’t put the work in when you’re here, it will be 10 times worse when you get out. And you are here because you need to be here. You’re showing some really strong signs of ⁓ permanent damage. And so this is the time.

 

So then that was a bit easier because I thought, okay, well I’m going to lock in, I know how to perform, I know how to drive myself. So I sort of had like this mental switch. Plus I had two guys that I was in hospital with called Alex and Harrison, who I became like their big sister to, and I devoted every hour, spare hour I had to looking after them. So rehab,

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (22:06)

So can I just stop you there for a moment? How much of that was about compassionate tests or was that test trying to find a role to fulfill because you had challenged your own identity as it was previously?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (22:26)

wonderful question die and the truth is it’s both. That’s the wonderful thing about identity right? It can be two things at the same time. It came from compassion, it came from my heart and I still like love and care for those boys now.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (22:36)

Yep.

 

that came from need as well.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (22:52)

Yeah, it came from purpose. It came from feeling useful again. Because if I just was sitting in woe is me, my life is, am I allowed to swear?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (23:02)

Yeah,

 

of course you can. Fucked!

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (23:04)

Then I realized that there was tiny things that I could do. could semi use my hands at this point. I could help them Alex clean his teeth. So it just became it just became these little micro moments where I was stacking myself onto these like I could be helpful. I wasn’t like it’s like when they say whenever you think your worst day is is on there’s something even worse that you could be dealing with. So make the most of it. So I just applied that grit.

 

and that resilience to where I was. So I ended up going from just doing one, like helping Alex eat an apple, to then I started running cooking classes for everyone and I’d find out different ways that you could tie a mixer to someone’s hand who had a paralysed hand so that they could cook muffins. So it started becoming part of my therapy and my joy and my light that like I was useful.

 

even in my most useless form.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (24:06)

Yeah.

 

So when, at what point did you hit that, if I can’t perform, who am I? To then saying, okay, I can now turn this into purpose to help each other. How long into your stay were you before that started?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (24:27)

It was pretty early on and I remember it. I was lying in bed and the clock on my wall was ticking and driving me insane. I mean hospital bed is pretty dire. Those curtains do not make you feel any better about your

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (24:47)

self. No they don’t.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (24:49)

And I popped next door to Alex and I said, is that clock annoying you? He said, I just can’t, I just don’t know what to do about it. So I took it down and I took the batteries out.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (25:02)

Okay, so that prompts my next question because how different does surrendering to your circumstances to be able to move forward differ to actually giving up? What’s the difference there? Because you certainly didn’t give up. You were still being true to yourself even in

 

in saying, I can solve that issue with the and clock.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (25:35)

Yeah, I feel like it just comes from everything I’ve been through and the journey that I’ve been on and that, like to me that is the best thing you can ever do is help someone and to be there for others and to be of service. I knew that to be true throughout my whole life but I didn’t feel that I was worthy of that.

 

or that I had enough to give in terms like I always sort of equated that to be a monetary value. When I was in hospital, it really turned into being my true meaning and purpose at that time was to be there to help everyone around me and to help those boys. And that, and we know this now by all the science, is when you help someone else, really what you’re doing is you’re helping yourself.

 

I didn’t understand the importance of that for my healing journey until I was out and learning about the science of positive psychology and wellbeing. I didn’t realise that it was actually rewiring my brain to feel like to have a mission and vision and purpose is one of the greatest. You need that, you need meaning in your life no matter what it is. And yeah, it was just those micro moments where you put your hand up and say, I can do that. I can help.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (27:00)

Yep.

 

Yep. And it’s the same in starting power of women. I’m 62. I could retire or I could do something meaningful. Yeah. I’m going to do something meaningful.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (27:15)

Yeah.

 

And thank God you did. Thank God you did. And like it was, there was so many incredible moments in that hospital where like everyone has to leave by 11 o’clock PM. It was actually 9 PM, but it got stretched. And so there’s all of these scary hours of people being alone. But then you wake up at 5 AM in the morning and it’s the same noise, the same sound and the same breakfast for brought to you every day. And the boys hated it.

 

It was the same bacon, eggs, wheat bix and that smell was the triggering thing. Groundhog Day. So I would get up at five o’clock and take the breakfast out of their room. They didn’t have that and that would get me up. So it was like, when I say this just stacked, I was like, okay, I’m going to use this. So that became my superpower. But when I got out die and I lost that, that is when I hit.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (27:46)

Groundhog Day

 

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (28:10)

the most absolute rock bottom I’ve

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (28:12)

ever felt. You’re listening to the Power of Women podcast and coming up we’re going to move from breakdown to rebuild. you’re loving the Power of Women podcast be sure to jump on to our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode.

 

I’m talking with Tess Brouwer, who for years lived by the mantra, push through, power on, and prove yourself. However, Tess faced into a defining moment when her nervous system was burnt out, her mind was in overdrive, and quite frankly, the wheels simply began to fall off. So in this part of our conversation, we move from breakdown to rebuild, what Tess calls mental fitness.

 

So Tess, the defining moment and the tipping point where you stop fighting and what was, you recognized you needed to reset, that’s where we’re gonna get into this part about mental fitness. But when did you have that moment of going, okay, I’ve got to acknowledge what’s happened and I now need to.

 

take a different approach to what my life looks like. What was the first steps in that?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (29:38)

Well, I had a wonderful friend called Lane Beachley. We had met when I was a virgin and like I met a lot of people of all different shape, sizes, importance, all the rest of it. But Lane and I just clicked when we met each other and she came to visit me in hospital and she brought a book in called My Dream Life. And I thought this lady is absolutely out of her fucking mind. I’m in a spinal ward.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (30:06)

This is not my dream life.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (30:08)

Yeah,

 

yeah, but there wasn’t part of me, and I do feel like this was the resilience in me, was I remember looking at a white wall for so long just staring at a ceiling in a neck brace thinking, well, I guess I get to redraw my life. Like I get to, it’s a white canvas. So it put a seed in me. And then when I got out of hospital, like when I say it really hit the fan, like shit really hit the fan for me, it was more like the floor opened up.

 

In hospital, in rehab, you have a schedule every day, which is hour by hour mapped out and you’re working to use your body again. Not so much mentally. I was put on a lot of medication to help me. So anti-anxiety, anti-depression. I was getting like my, had complex PTSD, so I was getting really big flashes and terrors at night. So I was

 

a little bit sedated as well. And so when I got out of hospital, I was 33 living in my bedroom with my parents and I just found myself on the floor just like crying because I’d lost my job, my home, my money. I didn’t even have any clothes at that point. I had a couple of bond sets from and came up because that was just

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (31:26)

because everything was still back overseas.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (31:28)

everything

 

was still back overseas and I really didn’t care. Like I just was like, I don’t care. I’ve got clothes on my back and that’ll do. I couldn’t even imagine wearing normal clothes at that point. And I was just, I wrote one thing in that book and that was start a business. But I thought, how the hell are you going to do that when you, you’d like, you’ve been a corporate girl your whole life, which is safe. And

 

Like could never work a normal job again because I can’t, I now am packaged up as damaged goods in my head. And I remember coming home from a pretty traumatic appointment and it was all to do with my hands to help them work again. And the lady had grabbed me and I just remember looking at her thinking like, you don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Don’t touch me. And that friction was like, is this who I want to be?

 

Do I really want to be that woman? And I got home and I was bawling my eyes out thinking my life is totally fucked. And that was rock bottom. And then I started imagining ways that I could quietly sleep off this beautiful earth. And yeah, that really broke me. And I was, I remember looking out at the headland one day watching the sunrise, just thinking, who do I want to be? You’ve got the choice.

 

I saw a beautiful whale pop up and I just thought you’ve got to do this and I had realized that the story I’ve been telling myself was I’m broken and I’m unlovable and if I keep on telling myself that I will be broken and I will be unlovable So I quick I did a life audit and I saw that what what was that? What was the story? I was just subscribing to was I’m broken. I’m unlovable

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (33:11)

Yeah.

 

How did you actually do the audit? Was that just in your mind or was that pen to paper?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (33:24)

Yeah,

 

yeah had no framework. I was doing it on my own and

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (33:31)

And what were the key things you wrote down in that audit? ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (33:34)

am

 

broken, I’m unlovable, like who is who am I working with, who’s supporting this? Now at the same time I was back at Lane Beechley’s house and I was there with Holly Ransom who you’ll know she’s a power woman herself and at Lane’s house with Kirk Bengeli walking around and their house is like a huge trophy room to be honest and I had my discharge papers of everything that was wrong with me I even published it in our book and Lane

 

I gave it to Holly and Holly read it and gave me a big hug and she’d been in hospital with me and then I gave it to Lane and she read it and she goes, poof! She said, well if you believe all of this bullshit then your life will be fucked. I just want, and if I could rip it up I would.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (34:16)

There’s the blunt reality check you needed.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (34:20)

That’s right, love and compassion. But the truth is, when, you call someone out, and this is what I’ve learned about myself in that moment, have the courage and the care to hold them up after. So not,

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (34:34)

You need to know how much they can hear and how much you can be.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (34:37)

 

Her lifeline to me was, I have a course that I’m doing by myself in two weeks, which is like her own workshop. I haven’t sold any tickets, like it’s not online yet and I need help designing the course and you’re going to help me do it. And there’s that moment of yes, right? Like take the clock down, take out the batteries. This was saying yes to myself or helping myself. So I just said yes.

 

But I said I can’t work over than an hour, I don’t have any, like I had nothing and she said just go for it. So that was a turning point. I looked at my life and I’m like, what is serving me and what is sabotaging me? And what was serving me was the story of unbroken and ununlovable because I got support, people were behind me, but was it really serving me? No.

 

It would keep me stuck. So I changed my story and in that I went, okay, well what do I need? So I went from 15 therapists down to two and I got one new one and I stayed with an old one and she was really pushing me to go into my pain. You have been running from pain your whole life through drinking, through partying, through clothes, through food, like through busyness, through performance. Like these were all my band aids. And when you’ve lost them all, it becomes

 

very discomf, like the discomfort in that is life changing.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (36:04)

Do you ever think this accident needed to happen?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (36:07)

Yes,

 

yes, yes of course it did and if it wasn’t that it would be something else and I think that’s the beautiful thing about the universe is it gives us exactly what we need to wake up and that’s why we call it the awake academy because it was my awakening and if I look back my life I was getting lots of these stones thrown at me I just wasn’t willing to listen yeah I feel like life just then it gets louder

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (36:19)

Yeah.

 

Yep, and the stones get a little bit more… Bigger? A little bit bigger, I guess.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (36:40)

Was your face like that? Do you see yours?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (36:42)

I do and I guess just by the virtue of being older and I, but I mean I’ve had some oh shit moments. mean in 1999 I developed alopecia totalis. I lost all of my hair. I was completely bald. I was the height of my corporate powers and I’m wearing a bandana and a corporate suit and it’s like who the fuck am I now?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (37:10)

Yeah

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (37:11)

But I managed to get headhunted into a GM role in that state. I validated to myself that I could still function, I still had worth. I recognized that I could talk about my plight and talk to children in the schoolyard because children with alopecia in the schoolyard is a pretty tough place to be because you get bullied and teased and taunted. And a bit like you, Tess, of…

 

Okay, if I put some purpose behind what I’m experiencing and use that to help others, then that is going to help me through. it’s exactly the same. Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (37:55)

exactly same pain to purpose.

 

I think the learning point for me was the fight of the cost of fighting the reality I was in like as in trying to downplay it or ignore it or just trying to like I was like a duck trying to swim with it. ⁓ That was more painful than dealing with it. I just couldn’t see it at the time and learning that neuroscience behind how my brain

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (38:14)

Yep.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (38:24)

was I could rewire my brain at any time and I started doing Dr Joe Dispenser meditations morning, noon and night and I was just obsessed with trying to rewire my brain and trying to calm it down because it was just in everything was a threat.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (38:43)

Yeah heightened anxiety. So let’s delve into ⁓ this mental fitness bit. What’s the difference between pure grit and toughness that drove you to push through? mean is grit and toughness the same thing?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (38:46)

Literally.

 

I would say so. mean, they’re pretty loaded words, grit and toughness. I think we overplay resilience to be pushed through, get up, keep going. I think resilience has a fragility to it where you can sit with it and you learn to process it and you rewire your story and you get help and that is resilience.

 

If we turn that into, you’re so tough, you just get up and go, that’s when it becomes almost like a badge of honor. We’ve overdone it.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (39:39)

Yeah.

 

Yeah. And, and we use that line as a badge of honor. That’s the madness of it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (39:46)

Yeah, and I think that’s where mental fitness gets a bit clouded or positive psychology and well-being or is that you have to, you know, push through, develop grit, become resilient. That’s not what it is. It’s understanding the truth of what’s going on within the root cause because as you know, emotional pain is one of the biggest causes of stress, injury.

 

disease, like dis-ease in your body, because the body would rather feel physical pain than emotional pain. And we’re very good at going to the gym, working on our bodies, looking great. But where have we put in mental fitness where we can start to use grit as just getting up and going for a walk instead of going for a run? that, you know, there, there’s that stuff. That is the type of language

 

that I love challenging people on. Not in combat, but just what are you associating grit with?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (40:52)

Yeah, that’s interesting. So I know personally resilience, and you’ve touched on it, but resilience can tip into denial. can become your enemy. How do you now define not taking no for an answer in a healthy way without losing that strength of character that is you?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (41:16)

Yeah, it’s funny, my husband said in his speech that Tess doesn’t take no for an answer, she sees it as a roundabout.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (41:28)

It’s got a softer landing than just not techno for an hour.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (41:32)

Yeah, and I think like the person that I needed to say no to, to be perfectly honest, was myself. And it wasn’t, and maybe that’s the roundabout theory in real life is like pushing through grit, like force. Like I started to apply that mindset. So the mindset that I knew of high performance woman getting shit done, ticking all the right boxes to healing.

 

because your brain can just brings you back to what you’ve always known. So I was trying to do it all, trying to go to every appointment. So was burning myself out in healing. So when I learned what true self love was and what mental fitness and emotional fitness was, was actually saying, no, not now to myself. Like you don’t need to do it all. You need to learn to sit in your pain and discomfort. And then I became aware of that.

 

So that’s when the roundabout came in and it’s like, well, you can’t do all of it, but what’s the something? Like, what would be different about today if you just actually took care of your soul? And that to me was having gentler mornings, not rushing it. And that day is how I rebuilt my life.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (42:52)

Nah, there we go, because it’s going to ask you because I’ve visited Burnout on the podcast on a number of conversations over the last two years and had a terrific conversation, which if anybody listening hasn’t already listened to it with Shanna Kennedy, who was a high performance coach and then burnt out. The difference in this conversation.

 

⁓ is you more than burnt out, you actually broke you, what you, you physically broke. And that’s the, that’s the different bit. So could we get practical at this point in the conversation and for the, for the power of women community for, for a woman navigating a health set back, a career disruption, an identity shift that comes from something.

 

not going to plan and the wheels falling off. What are the non-negotiables in rebuilding that toolkit?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (43:55)

Okay, Di. So first of all, I realised that everything comes from your intentions. So not your expectations, your intentions of who you are and how you want to show up in the world. Now, I knew I wasn’t going to be healthy, strong. All of those words didn’t exist for me. It was, I just want to be sunshine. So I woke up every day and I just made sure I watched the sunrise every day.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (43:58)

I realized.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (44:23)

What would sunshine do? Sunshine can weather all storms, it radiates from within and it just feels good to be around. So I wanted to feel good from within. So if I started there, my day actually became, what can I do to keep my sunshine? Well, I needed to rest, I needed to look after myself. So I would say to everyone, start your day with an intention and your energy will flow from that.

 

energetic beings and we need to be our brains need to tell our bodies what mindset we need that day. It’s not woo woo, it’s neuroscience now. So that would be my number one tip. The side note on that, I met my husband a year later from leaving hospital and the first words he said to me was I am sunshine. ⁓

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (45:12)

And because you had become somebody people wanted to be around.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (45:16)

Right. And normally I would have just put my head down and walked away. And yeah, a year later from that day, we were engaged. We got married. We had a baby and having that intent really changed my life. Then I would, and this is something I’ve incorporated because I am entering into perimenopause and I do need to be really conscious of how I feel my body and your brain and your body will fuel on what you feed it. And that includes negative self-talk is as important.

 

to become aware of and to close down as it is for my morning coffee.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (45:49)

Yeah, it’s true. I get it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (45:51)

So I have a big glass of water with some cracked sea salt to rehydrate my body. And when I do that, I’m drinking it saying, today’s gonna be a great day, show me how good it’s gonna get. And I just have this quiet solitude in my moment. Now, if you’re already doing that, I highly recommend scraping your tongue first thing and cleaning your teeth before you have a drink of water, because then you’re not drinking back down the toxins. That was a game changer.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (46:19)

Yeah, there you go. Not everybody has a tongue scraper in their bathroom, but they should.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (46:26)

Yeah.

 

We just had Dr. Stacey Sims on our podcast, A Wake Up Call, and she introduced me to a protein coffee. I fasted a lot to help my body heal. And now I’m entering into a season in my life. really need it’s about sustained energy and sustained wellbeing. me. Protein coffee. So you want to have, we don’t want to be in survival mode from the moment we wake up. So fasting works against our hormones.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (46:44)

about a protein coffee that’s

 

Yeah,

 

because that’s fight or flight. Fight or flight? Yeah, cortisol.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (46:59)

can’t wake up with an egg. ⁓ I like to eat

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (47:04)

I meet my egg at about 11 a.m.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (47:08)

I just make a coffee and put two scoops of protein in, mix it up and it is delicious and I have really noticed a difference in my energy throughout the day because of

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (47:18)

Yeah, because you’ve kept yourself at a better level. Yeah. But it’s protein start.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (47:23)

Yeah,

 

scheduling breaks. So I look at a lot. I used to look at my diary and say, OK, what needs my attention today? And now I look at it. Where can I build in breaks today? Where am I resting and recovering? Because burnout is a classic. You’re climbing a mountain. You don’t come down again. You just climb the other ones. You’re constantly on peak state. And we we think of that as like maybe a project or a moment in time. But really, if we start looking at that in our day.

 

you start to think, okay, well, how can I build in five minutes here, 90 seconds there, a sunshine break over lunch with no tech, closing my eyes, and start to become aware of what your body and your mind are saying to you. And in those moments of rest, you’re really giving your body time to just close down, decompress, and then you come back with more energy, more clarity, more focus, and at the end of the day,

 

You’re not absolutely late.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (48:22)

Fucked up. So true. None of these are hard to do. They’re all free. Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (48:31)

They are all free. just need the reminder that this stuff works. I feel like it’s like, it’s so easy to say someone take this pill and it will work. then you.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (48:43)

But all that’s doing, none of that’s addressing the reason you needed the pill. That’s why I hate that approach.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (48:49)

Yeah, but ⁓ we did create a Peel Lane and I actually because all of us are experiencing brain fog.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (48:57)

Both

 

of you might be, yeah, in the M word.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:01)

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So we worked with a chemist actually, and it’s called wake up. So it’s for those days where you really need to be on focus. That aside, what is so important for me now is I know that emotions last in your body for 90 seconds. Anything other than that. it’s energy in motion is emotion. Anything other than that 90 seconds is the story you wrap around it. So for example,

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (49:09)

Yep.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:29)

email or a phone call comes through and you feel that rage you don’t deal with it you pick up your phone and or you talk to a colleague or someone else and you start raging about it how dare this person you start blaming shaming you start the self-doubt and the chatter comes in

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (49:46)

The

 

second starts getting bigger and bigger. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:50)

Now it’s stored now it’s part of your memory now whenever that person sends or messages you your body instantly goes into fight-or-flight Now in the previous days we could just get up and run because it’s a saber-toothed tiger But you can’t do that when you’re making dinner. It’s ask you for the 18th time what’s for dinner and not offer to help Whatever that looks like whatever that rage moment looks like for you So this is a non-negotiable for me is when I feel triggered

 

and it could be sadness, could be anger, could be even happiness is an emotional trigger, is to sit in it and breathe through it. And there’s a breath called the physiological sigh, which is two breaths in through your nose, like short and long, and then a really slow exhale through the nose. And that puts your body from out of fight or flight into your parasympathetic nervous system and calms you down instantly. And it is my absolute superpower and that is emotional.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (50:48)

Same. I learned that some time ago and I can completely change. And I’ll give you a real life example of that when I had my heart episode at New Year’s Day and I had to go in for an MRI and they said, your heart rate’s too high, we’re gonna have to give you a drug to bring it down. I said, don’t, I’ll do it through breath. And they said, no, we’ll need to give you a drug. I said, give me two minutes.

 

just give me two minutes and I had to really push back and in two minutes it was down below 50. They said, how did you do that? I said, breathing. Don’t give me the drug. So it absolutely worked.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (51:31)

Isn’t that amazing, Di, that you have the awareness to do that, but then you burnt yourself out and ended up…

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (51:38)

⁓ I know, know, yeah, deeply intelligent and deeply flawed, both things can be right.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (51:45)

I think that’s what I’ve learned in this is having logical awareness of things is not the same as being in practice.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (51:53)

No it’s not. And I hear I listen to your story and I listen to other people’s story and then I go and work my ass off seven days a week and repeat it all over again. Why would

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:02)

Why?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (52:06)

That’s probably what I haven’t answered yet. think it’s ambition, but it might be more than that. No.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:08)

Yeah.

 

Mine was my self-worth. It should be love.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (52:15)

Yeah, well

 

those two things, ambition and self-worth, are wrapped together in my world and I’m sure they are in many of our listeners’ worlds too. So, we’re pulling that apart.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:31)

So that, just having the awareness of that dies like the biggest part. It’s like asking myself every day, I doing this because I need to feel loved? Because I’m not getting it from within and having the awareness is, then you say no to jobs that don’t light you up, that you’re doing it for.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (52:49)

Yeah. Why? Yeah. So Tess, can I ask you, are you stronger now than you were before the accident?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (53:01)

I’m softer, some would say I’m just as strong, but I’ve turned that strength into a gentle strength. And that’s been the biggest gift.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (53:18)

And that’s emotional to face into. Yeah it And you probably need to teach me that because the tough gritty facade is our armour.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (53:30)

Yeah, and at what cost does that serve us or you? You know what? Anyone listening? And I know that sustained well-being because now I teach it and I’ve taught it to thousands of people and I watch it with Lane Beechley like she won a world title, two world titles in a state of love and freedom. It’s clear, it’s disciplined, it’s not

 

That level of strength doesn’t make you weak. But the other level of strength which is pushing you is like over questioning, pushing through, comparison, the what ifs, the I should, the could, the would.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (54:13)

I

 

need to get on the couch, seriously, I seriously need to take a dead-hunt myself.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (54:17)

And

 

they’re two totally different operating models. when you, if sustained mental fitness, sustained wellbeing is having those cracks warts and all, and just knowing that you are enough, just as you are, and that no amount of financial money will ever prove that too. So for what?

 

Because when you’re on your ass in your parents bedroom with no money, no car, no home, nothing, and you have to learn to love yourself just as you are, you just become softer.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (54:58)

Yeah, yeah, well Tess, that’s a very, very vulnerable conversation and I thank you for being prepared to share that. I’m going to ask you a couple of rapid fire questions as we come to a close today.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (55:16)

Di, can I just close before you go into the wrap-up? The women listening and whether you’re a parent or not and I just want you to relate to this story. We had a lady who was a very high corporate achiever just like me but you know she I think she had three children and she did our course called On Your Streets and it was a one day live or we’ve got it online through the Awake Academy. Yeah. And

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (55:19)

Yeah, sure.

 

the academy.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (55:45)

We follow up with people a month later because we don’t want to just be a fry pan. you know when you walk, you don’t come to us and walk on hot coals and you’re liberated from life. It’s real grit, but with tool hits. And I saw her a month later and I said, how are going? She’s like, really good. And I’m working through some stuff and I’m just trying to be a more present mom. And that’s great. Like, you know, that for her, that was what she had realized she had left behind was her presence with her family and loved ones.

 

And that to me was a big wake up call. So I’m like, what is success? Like when you are too busy being busy, you miss the joy and the micro moments and the glimmers. And they’re the things that light you up that that’s what living is. It’s not just going on a holiday every few months. It really is the micro moments every day. And I was fortunate enough to see his beautiful soul another month later. So two months have passed and she gave me the biggest hug.

 

And she said to me, think I’ve found it. And I said, what is it? And she said, my kids said that I’m happier.

 

They said, what have you done, mum? You’re so much happier. You’re there with us. You’re fun, mum. And she was identified as being dictator, mum, because she was tired. And that to me, when we talk about pain to purpose, that is my why. Because I know you can still be powerful, but present and gentle and kind. Like you can still be all those things.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (57:16)

And I think there’s a simple question in that and look in the mirror and say, I enjoying life? I think it’s as simple as that. Okay, yeah. fire. Rapid fire, here we go. So one belief about success you no longer subscribe to.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (57:23)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

That money buys happiness and because of that output would equal worth so that you have to be doing more to being worthy and then then you get more money and then you’ll be happy.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (57:50)

A red flag high performers should never ignore.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (57:56)

chronic exhaustion marked as busyness.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (57:59)

Yes, and the strongest version of you looks like…

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:08)

Sunshine?

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (58:09)

Nah, there we go. Sunshine.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:12)

Yeah,

 

just energetic, magnetic, calm, present. Of course I have my wobbles, I am no, by no means perfect, ask my kids. But I think it’s just I have, yeah, grounded sense of who I am and the love I have for myself now, what’s and all.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (58:30)

Yeah, beautiful. Tess, thank you again for sharing. I’m going to put the links to the Awake Academy into the show notes. And will that take them through to a toolkit page as well, if they click onto that?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:47)

Yeah, please do. We’ve got a seven day self care, which you can do for free. We’ve got a soul map. If you have no idea where to begin, that’s a good place to start. It’ll tell you where you know who you are and where you need to go. Or we’ve got monthly coaching with the awake collective because people don’t want to do this stuff alone. Or if you’re really up for it, bring us into your business and let Lane and I show you how you can have sustained well-being and happy, healthy people.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (59:16)

Yeah, beautiful ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (59:18)

Can

 

I credit you for something? I just want to honour you for holding space in this emotion that has come up for me today. You too are going through your own challenges and the story resonates back and perhaps that’s why I’ve been so raw and open and honest and you’ve asked such beautiful questions that have given me the gift of reflection. And I know for all the women out there that listen to your podcast and men,

 

is that we’re all looking to find a better way through and an easier way. And thank you for that gift, for allowing me to explore that alongside you as you explore your trauma and pain as well, because there is a better way.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (1:00:02)

Now you’ve made me emotional. Thank you, Tess. That’s beautiful. I’ve spent 30 years in the executive search space interviewing people and learning their stories. I’ve spent two years interviewing on the power of women, and I have learned more about myself in those two years than I learned in the previous 30. So you are spot on.

 

So to Tessa’s point, there are going to be people within your network who would really benefit from listening to a conversation like this. And it might bring up the uncomfortable and it might bring up the emotion, but you know what? It takes that to actually have that inflection point and really face into what’s not working. that simple question that I said, you

 

Are you enjoying life? And if the answer is, if you hesitate, then you’ve got to ask yourself why.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (1:01:06)

Yeah, we’re all just humans walking each other home.

 

DI GILLETT [Podcast Host] (1:01:10)

That’s exactly right. Thank you Tess. Until next time.

DI GILLETT [Host] (00:02)

Tess, when you hear the words power of women and reflecting on your own experiences, what comes to mind?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (00:09)

 

Di, I love that you asked this question and I just turned 40 on the weekend and I you very much. I’ve been thinking about my word and what will it be for the next decade and I anchored on power, believe it or not, and I anchored on that because for me it’s not power I can rule the world, it’s a deep embodiment of who I am.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (00:16)

Happy birthday!

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (00:38)

And knowing that I’ve done the work, that I’ve found my soul, my dark spots, my triggers, I mean, they’re always unfolding. But the power in that when you know yourself, when you start to love yourself again, when you trust in yourself, which I’ve never had that before, and it’s been a long process for me to get there. So I would say it’s like a power for me is a silent self-trust.

 

and a belief in myself that can ride the waves, can ride the storms, and is a really grounded, beautiful force, which is the divine feminine. And so that to me is the true embodiment of power now for me. So bring on power, hey?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (01:26)

Yay. Brilliant. So what happens when the very qualities that built your success, your drive, your identity, your refusal to stop are actually the same qualities that almost break you? I’m Di Gillett and this is the Power of Women podcast. And if you’re joining us for the first time, what I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience and achievements

 

of women from all walks of life. And this conversation is about pushing through and ignoring some of the signs. And that is a deeply personal conversation for me because I started the beginning of this year, in fact, New Year’s Day, with having a sign, not quite so sure, deciding to listen to it and spent three days.

 

in a hospital in Melbourne in Australia with a suspected heart attack. Now I am absolutely thrilled to say that it didn’t end up being the case, but what it was was the fact that I had pushed too hard and literally run myself into the ground. So to put some more context to this, I am joined today by Tess Brower, mental and emotional fitness expert, co-founder of Awake Academy with Lane Beachley.

 

And Tess is the former head of brand partnerships at Virgin Australia. And she’s a woman who rebuilt her life after a life-changing spinal and brain injury. Tess was a high performer in the corporate world. There were big deals, big responsibilities, big identity. Then a skiing accident at 32 changed everything. A spinal injury, Guillain-Barre diagnosis, multiple hospital. ⁓

 

visits, a body that wouldn’t cooperate, and a nervous system in overload. So in a conversation today, we’re going to explore how to reset, rebuild, and rise stronger when your identity fractures. Because the reality is for any of us, life can change in a blink of an eye. Tess Brower, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (03:51)

Thank you, Di. When you hear those words being read about you, I’m instantly emotional. I’m instantly back there. Someone said to me the other day, it was actually one of my friends, are you okay? You’re talking about it a lot. And I feel like that’s the true sense of power is, is knowing that it, that trauma and that pain still sits within and you can work through it and you’re comfortable sitting in it.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (04:21)

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (04:22)

I spent so long ignoring myself, my feelings and my emotions and passing them off as, you know, well, there’s a war going on. Who am I to experience pain? but yeah, thank you for a beautiful intro, but yeah, know that it’s still hard hearing that because I still am in it.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (04:40)

So all of that emotion is going to come through in our conversation today, Tess. And if there is at any point where you want to call a break, you call a break. Thank Because I get it. Yeah. So could we go back, take us back to the skiing accident? What happened? And more importantly, what happened in the days and the weeks after you realized this wasn’t something you could just ignore and push through?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (05:09)

The truth is, is I knew instantly. So I just moved over to Switzerland and I was like first week, new job, skiing day and went up a black run with the team because that’s what you do when you’re a high performance woman who’s out to impress everyone. And a skier went past me. It was a very, very foggy, like white out up there. And I went straight into the side of a ⁓

 

Ice wall because he had to come down the mountain through And Yeah, I lost both my skis slammed headfirst into the ice wall lost the lost both the skis and just I remember going blank and I remember pins and needles shot through my body and then I just the adrenaline just searched and I just got up laughing trying to kind of overcome what was happening in my in myself and

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (05:40)

because you had no perspective you couldn’t read the ground

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (06:06)

Deep down I knew, I remember thinking, you’ve done something here. But I had to carry on. I had to do what I’ve always done. I don’t want to be the person that’s in shame or the person that’s the troubled one. I just wanted to click back in and keep going. And I did. And I got off the mountain pretty quickly. I just needed to get away cracking headache and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. And it’s not like me to miss a party day.

 

⁓ And I didn’t want to go to the after party. I just needed to go home and go to sleep now when your identity is wrapped up in your work and For context I had just sold out everything and moved to overseas so

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (06:51)

So this was a permanent move to Europe?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (06:57)

I’d signed over my residency to Australia. I was now residing in Switzerland. So the mere thought that something was wrong with me and that I would need any sort of form of medical treatment just wasn’t even a concept to me. So I did what I have always done is I carried on. And that looked like for me is pins and needles up and down my hand, loss of feeling in my shoes.

 

I got in my feet, so I got my mum to send over shoes that I loved in Australia because I felt like I had more feeling in my feet in them.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (07:33)

So you’re already looking for band-aids

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (07:38)

And

 

there was a pivotal moment where I was swimming in Lake Geneva and I was diving through the water and I totally lost feeling in my legs. I remember swimming and I remember thinking, I am going to drown because it’s quite, there’s quite a rapid that goes down there. I’m like, everything in me was get to the edge of this jetty.

 

And I got there and I was holding onto the jetty and I remember thinking, like, if you don’t get up, you’re gonna drown. And like with every ounce of my body, I just pushed myself up and I laid there almost like, you know, when you see a seal flop themselves up onto a jetty and they’re like…

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (08:21)

Yeah, legs working

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (08:23)

legs weren’t working and I was just thinking.

 

And so I do what most normal people do is you get out your phone and you Google your symptoms.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (08:34)

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (08:36)

And it suggested that I had multiple sclerosis, which I thought, well, I can deal with that. Now, if you’re someone who has that, I’m terribly sorry for downplaying that. But in my head, it was the easier thing to capture in my brain because it was something that I could, it was a long term issue that I could deal with when I got back to Australia, you know, when I went back there another time, because I just, didn’t know how to deal with that medical system either.

 

second link like obviously I didn’t even speak French and it was so there was a series of these moments die that were just like I look back on myself and I’m like what were you ignoring I was wetting my pants at work and just going to the shops and buying new ones

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (09:20)

And that was the spinal injury pressing on nerves.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (09:24)

messing on my nerves and what was happening was because my spinal cord was bruised, compressed and swelling, I was going into spinal shock and I didn’t realize it. And people can do incredible things with spinal cord injury and not know about it. And they can still, you can still experiencing loss of feeling in hands and all of that. They’re quite like in quote unquote normal experiences as you know, with your back.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (09:49)

I do.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (09:50)

that was spinal shock and then your body’s starting to shut down and and that’s when I went to hospital because I just thought I can’t deal with this any longer and I said to them I hit my head they ignored that and they sent me home with an anxiety tablet. Fortunately I was sent straight back to hospital and the next morning for an MRI and at that point they just said look you’re have to be an inpatient because we’ve got to work out what’s wrong with you there’s something going on so.

 

lumbar punctures, being electrocuted, like actually multiple lumbar punctures which is like possibly

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (10:25)

Very

 

painful. haven’t had one but I’ve witnessed a family member having it and it was unforgettable.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (10:35)

Yeah, it’s a pain that you can’t explain. And I say this with grace to myself at this moment, but I still didn’t call home. I still didn’t call my mom or my family. Shame. Total shame. How could I have ignored my body? How have I gotten to this point? And I was getting really bad. Like I remember my speech

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (11:02)

How long is it now since the accident? of Okay. Yes. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (11:04)

Come on.

 

aggressively getting worse. And

 

then I was an hour away, they decided that I had Guillain-Barré disease, which is sort of like a category that they put me in and thought that’s what you’ve got and you’re an hour away from getting a blood transfusion, it’s time you call home. But we want to do one more MRI to completely make sure that you’re all right. And I went down into the MRI machine and I think it was like my third one because they put dye through me and all of those sorts of potes and prods.

 

And the radiologist in broken English said to me, you hit your head, you hit your head. And I said, yes, like that’s what I’ve been saying. Like I know that that’s when my body changed. You know, that moment, right? It wasn’t dramatic at the time, but I knew that that was the

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (11:51)

aggressive from there. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (11:54)

And because I was fit and like I just did not have anything like that before that moment. And I said, yeah, I hit my head and he said, you have a spinal cord injury. And I just went bang. And yet the penny dropped and they gave my mom 24 hours to get over to Switzerland. I had to call her and say, mom, I’m okay. But yeah, I’m and

 

Yeah, she got over there and it was one of the most heartbreaking moments ever is seeing my mum walk into the hospital and her daughter is there broken and quite frightened really.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (12:35)

As was she.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (12:37)

But I didn’t grasp the high percentage of people who have this surgery. Well, not high, but it’s low risk, but it’s still a high number.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (12:45)

Anything

 

to do with your spine is scary. I get it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (12:49)

I

 

didn’t realise the risk that you could actually, like it’s millimetres and my spinal surgeon said to me, you know, you’re lucky, you’re very lucky, I’ve seen scans like this and people are totally paralysed. And so yeah, I went into surgery and what I thought was going to be an eight week surgery turned out to be, I went back, I had the surgery, stayed in hospital for two weeks, went back to Australia to recover, which I thought would be eight weeks.

 

I thought that’s okay, I can get back to work. Because again, that’s all I thought about was just getting back, getting back. And I was back at the hospital, I was an outpatient at Royal North Shore Hospital in Northern Sydney, which has got one of the best spinal wards in Australia there. And they, I went in for just a routine.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (13:37)

and

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (13:43)

meeting I guess with my spinal surgeon and the physiotherapist and like my whole dream team and they just said you need to sit down and we’ve given you, I had another MRI and they said your spine is swelling and the surgery hasn’t worked and you’re have to go have another surgery again. And again that’s when the world shuts down on you and you fall apart because I mean for someone who has

 

wanted to be a high flyer and climb the corporate ladder and have all of this identity, I knew that that would be it. There would be no job, no home, no clothes, no money, nothing. It was all gone.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (14:21)

You couldn’t see beyond it at that point. was, it was, it was like, we’re done here.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (14:27)

Yeah, that was it. it was like, I truly like there were so many moments where I didn’t realize how serious it was. So even after the surgery, like the second surgery, and just before I went in, it was like 10, maybe 8, 8pm at night, something like that. And my surgeon got called in and he said, Look, I’ve been operating all day, my team are really tired, I’m not going to operate with there’s only one surgery.

 

ward open and I’m not going to do this at night if you don’t absolutely need it.” He said, do you understand? And I said, yeah, I understand. He goes, it’s going to be uncomfortable for you, but we have, like, I have to make sure that your health is number one. And so I went down for the MRI and I came back out and like your worst fears in that moment are realized when you said we’re opening up the surgery, you’re going in tonight.

 

So it was sort

 

of a bit like that, like a snowball that just got worse and worse and worse as time went on. And even more dramatically, like I was getting prepped for surgery and a heart attack came in. So I hope that person survives so badly, but it meant I was then left told that they couldn’t wait, rushed in for surgery only to be pulled out. And then I had to wait for the next slot.

 

which was another 24 hours later because there was another surgery planned. So it was just insane die. then I went very

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (15:54)

frightening. mean very, very frightening because you don’t know what the prognosis is at the end.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (16:01)

And you can retrospectively look back on these things. And I remember waking up in the spinal ward and them saying, it’s not two weeks here. You’re going to go, you’re like, we’ve got to get you recovered. And then you’re going to ride. And I said, what’s ride? Like it’s a, it’s one of Australia’s best rehab hospitals and you’ll be there for three months. And I just thought, am I living life?

 

Is this me? Is this what I’ve worked so hard to be?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (16:34)

And I had nowhere near the result, albeit it was a ski accident, but it was in my childhood that came back to haunt me in 2021, which put me in hospital during COVID and put me in hospital for two weeks. And I came out and I couldn’t walk without holding on to my husband’s arm and I’d gone in super fit.

 

And I was at a point in my life where I was going to be fabulous as I approached 60. And I couldn’t walk and I can remember it was late September and I said, I’m going to be back to walking 10 Ks by the December. And I was nowhere near it. And that’s when I was like, I need to take some drastic steps. But I have a, some understanding of what happens when

 

everything suddenly is turned on its head and the simple things in life that we take for granted that are wrapped up in our health and wellbeing suddenly are thrown out and we’re staring down the barrel of an alternative universe that doesn’t look so great. Frightening isn’t it?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (17:53)

Frightening, totally frightening.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (17:57)

So do you know how much of your identity was wrapped up in Tess Brower, the corporate executive?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (18:06)

Well, at that point it was Tess Maroney and it was all of it. Every single part of my identity was made up of my work and we laugh about it, but Lane Beachley’s husband is Kurt Pangeli from InXS and he’s, I mean his phone is Tess from Virgin. In fact, sometimes I’ll still have, I’ll email someone and I’ll say, Hey, it’s Tess from Virgin. you remember? Like, cause I still build this like absolute identity that’s wrapped around

 

what you do not who you are and I never went like my mum was a very and is still a very grounded spiritual person but you don’t really want to hear it from mum and I didn’t like

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (18:37)

Mmm.

 

No,

 

anything that close to home doesn’t land unfortunately.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (18:53)

Yeah, but I realized like I had done like high performance leadership courses and all of those sorts of stuff, but that’s just training you to be a better performer and not a better human. And so I was just, I was lost that if I wasn’t performing, who was I?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (19:11)

Yeah, if I wasn’t Tess from Virgin, who was I?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (19:14)

If

 

I wasn’t doing a deal or succeeding in something or being invited somewhere, who am I? And a lot of my friends were getting married, engaged, pregnant, second baby, like creating these truly beautiful lives. And that was the gaping hole in mine, was I had no one to hug at night. I had no one.

 

to hold me up out of the shower when I couldn’t walk. Like had my mom and my family of course, but it even accentuated that whole fact that, wow, I’ve given everything to work and now I don’t need that.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (20:00)

Yeah, so can you share with us, and I appreciate this is an emotional question, but can you share with us how that changed or impacted your sense of self? Can you take yourself back and describe what that actually felt like?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (20:17)

Yeah, I mean like it felt like I was alone in life. No one will ever understand the pain that I’m going through. Now in a ward of 24 beds I was the only walker in a spinal ward. So I was alone there too. I had so much guilt. Survivors guilt.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (20:40)

because the person in the bed next door couldn’t walk.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (20:44)

Sorry, I tried to check myself out two or three times and give my bed to someone else. And that is true test across my whole life. will give the shirt off my back to anyone apart from myself.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (20:58)

So you felt like an imposter being in the room? I relate to that. I felt like an imposter when I was in the heart ward at Christmas time because I was sitting up feeling great and the girl in the bed next door had had a pacemaker and the woman across from me wasn’t in a great way. So I get that feeling, but we’re mad. We need to listen.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (21:00)

Totally.

 

We’re mad. And it was the surgeon that said, if you don’t listen to yourself, if you don’t listen to us, and if you don’t put the work in when you’re here, it will be 10 times worse when you get out. And you are here because you need to be here. You’re showing some really strong signs of ⁓ permanent damage. And so this is the time.

 

So then that was a bit easier because I thought, okay, well I’m going to lock in, I know how to perform, I know how to drive myself. So I sort of had like this mental switch. Plus I had two guys that I was in hospital with called Alex and Harrison, who I became like their big sister to, and I devoted every hour, spare hour I had to looking after them. So rehab,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (22:06)

So can I just stop you there for a moment? How much of that was about compassionate tests or was that test trying to find a role to fulfill because you had challenged your own identity as it was previously?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (22:26)

wonderful question die and the truth is it’s both. That’s the wonderful thing about identity right? It can be two things at the same time. It came from compassion, it came from my heart and I still like love and care for those boys now.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (22:36)

Yep.

 

that came from need as well.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (22:52)

Yeah, it came from purpose. It came from feeling useful again. Because if I just was sitting in woe is me, my life is, am I allowed to swear?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (23:02)

Yeah,

 

of course you can. Fucked!

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (23:04)

Then I realized that there was tiny things that I could do. could semi use my hands at this point. I could help them Alex clean his teeth. So it just became it just became these little micro moments where I was stacking myself onto these like I could be helpful. I wasn’t like it’s like when they say whenever you think your worst day is is on there’s something even worse that you could be dealing with. So make the most of it. So I just applied that grit.

 

and that resilience to where I was. So I ended up going from just doing one, like helping Alex eat an apple, to then I started running cooking classes for everyone and I’d find out different ways that you could tie a mixer to someone’s hand who had a paralysed hand so that they could cook muffins. So it started becoming part of my therapy and my joy and my light that like I was useful.

 

even in my most useless form.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (24:06)

Yeah.

 

So when, at what point did you hit that, if I can’t perform, who am I? To then saying, okay, I can now turn this into purpose to help each other. long into your stay were you before that started?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (24:27)

It was pretty early on and I remember it. I was lying in bed and the clock on my wall was ticking and driving me insane. I mean hospital bed is pretty dire. Those curtains do not make you feel any better about your

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (24:47)

self. No they don’t.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (24:49)

And I popped next door to Alex and I said, is that clock annoying you? He said, I just can’t, I just don’t know what to do about it. So I took it down and I took the batteries out.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (25:02)

Okay, so that prompts my next question because how different does surrendering to your circumstances to be able to move forward differ to actually giving up? What’s the difference there? Because you certainly didn’t give up. You were still being true to yourself even in

 

in saying, I can solve that issue with the and clock.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (25:35)

Yeah, I feel like it just comes from everything I’ve been through and the journey that I’ve been on and that, like to me that is the best thing you can ever do is help someone and to be there for others and to be of service. I knew that to be true throughout my whole life but I didn’t feel that I was worthy of that.

 

or that I had enough to give in terms like I always sort of equated that to be a monetary value. When I was in hospital, it really turned into being my true meaning and purpose at that time was to be there to help everyone around me and to help those boys. And that, and we know this now by all the science, is when you help someone else, really what you’re doing is you’re helping yourself.

 

I didn’t understand the importance of that for my healing journey until I was out and learning about the science of positive psychology and wellbeing. I didn’t realise that it was actually rewiring my brain to feel like to have a mission and vision and purpose is one of the greatest. You need that, you need meaning in your life no matter what it is. And yeah, it was just those micro moments where you put your hand up and say, I can do that. I can help.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (27:00)

Yep.

 

Yep. And it’s the same in starting power of women. I’m 62. I could retire or I could do something meaningful. Yeah. I’m going to do something meaningful.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (27:15)

Yeah.

 

And thank God you did. Thank God you did. And like it was, there was so many incredible moments in that hospital where like everyone has to leave by 11 o’clock PM. It was actually 9 PM, but it got stretched. And so there’s all of these scary hours of people being alone. But then you wake up at 5 AM in the morning and it’s the same noise, the same sound and the same breakfast for brought to you every day. And the boys hated it.

 

It was the same bacon, eggs, wheat bix and that smell was the triggering thing. Groundhog Day. So I would get up at five o’clock and take the breakfast out of their room. They didn’t have that and that would get me up. So it was like, when I say this just stacked, I was like, okay, I’m going to use this. So that became my superpower. But when I got out die and I lost that, that is when I hit.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (27:46)

Groundhog Day

 

Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (28:10)

the most absolute rock bottom I’ve

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (28:12)

ever felt. You’re listening to the Power of Women podcast and coming up we’re going to move from breakdown to rebuild. you’re loving the Power of Women podcast be sure to jump on to our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode.

 

I’m talking with Tess Brower, who for years lived by the mantra, push through, power on, and prove yourself. However, Tess faced into a defining moment when her nervous system was burnt out, her mind was in overdrive, and quite frankly, the wheels simply began to fall off. So in this part of our conversation, we move from breakdown to rebuild, what Tess calls mental fitness.

 

So Tess, the defining moment and the tipping point where you stop fighting and what was, you recognized you needed to reset, that’s where we’re gonna get into this part about mental fitness. But when did you have that moment of going, okay, I’ve got to acknowledge what’s happened and I now need to.

 

take a different approach to what my life looks like. What was the first steps in that?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (29:38)

Well, I had a wonderful friend called Lane Beachley. We had met when I was a virgin and like I met a lot of people of all different shape, sizes, importance, all the rest of it. But Lane and I just clicked when we met each other and she came to visit me in hospital and she brought a book in called My Dream Life. And I thought this lady is absolutely out of her fucking mind. I’m in a spinal ward.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (30:06)

This is not my dream life.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (30:08)

Yeah,

 

yeah, but there wasn’t part of me, and I do feel like this was the resilience in me, was I remember looking at a white wall for so long just staring at a ceiling in a neck brace thinking, well, I guess I get to redraw my life. Like I get to, it’s a white canvas. So it put a seed in me. And then when I got out of hospital, like when I say it really hit the fan, like shit really hit the fan for me, it was more like the floor opened up.

 

In hospital, in rehab, you have a schedule every day, which is hour by hour mapped out and you’re working to use your body again. Not so much mentally. I was put on a lot of medication to help me. So anti-anxiety, anti-depression. I was getting like my, had complex PTSD, so I was getting really big flashes and terrors at night. So I was

 

a little bit sedated as well. And so when I got out of hospital, I was 33 living in my bedroom with my parents and I just found myself on the floor just like crying because I’d lost my job, my home, my money. I didn’t even have any clothes at that point. I had a couple of bond sets from and came up because that was just

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (31:26)

because everything was still back overseas.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (31:28)

everything

 

was still back overseas and I really didn’t care. Like I just was like, I don’t care. I’ve got clothes on my back and that’ll do. I couldn’t even imagine wearing normal clothes at that point. And I was just, I wrote one thing in that book and that was start a business. But I thought, how the hell are you going to do that when you, you’d like, you’ve been a corporate girl your whole life, which is safe. And

 

Like could never work a normal job again because I can’t, I now am packaged up as damaged goods in my head. And I remember coming home from a pretty traumatic appointment and it was all to do with my hands to help them work again. And the lady had grabbed me and I just remember looking at her thinking like, you don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Don’t touch me. And that friction was like, is this who I want to be?

 

Do I really want to be that woman? And I got home and I was bawling my eyes out thinking my life is totally fucked. And that was rock bottom. And then I started imagining ways that I could quietly sleep off this beautiful earth. And yeah, that really broke me. And I was, I remember looking out at the headland one day watching the sunrise, just thinking, who do I want to be? You’ve got the choice.

 

I saw a beautiful whale pop up and I just thought you’ve got to do this and I had realized that the story I’ve been telling myself was I’m broken and I’m unlovable and if I keep on telling myself that I will be broken and I will be unlovable So I quick I did a life audit and I saw that what what was that? What was the story? I was just subscribing to was I’m broken. I’m unlovable

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (33:11)

Yeah.

 

How did you actually do the audit? Was that just in your mind or was that pen to paper?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (33:24)

Yeah,

 

yeah had no framework. I was doing it on my own and

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (33:31)

And what were the key things you wrote down in that audit? ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (33:34)

am

 

broken, I’m unlovable, like who is who am I working with, who’s supporting this? Now at the same time I was back at Lane Beechley’s house and I was there with Holly Ransom who you’ll know she’s a power woman herself and at Lane’s house with Kirk Bengeli walking around and their house is like a huge trophy room to be honest and I had my discharge papers of everything that was wrong with me I even published it in our book and Lane

 

I gave it to Holly and Holly read it and gave me a big hug and she’d been in hospital with me and then I gave it to Lane and she read it and she goes, poof! She said, well if you believe all of this bullshit then your life will be fucked. I just want, and if I could rip it up I would.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (34:16)

There’s the blunt reality check you needed.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (34:20)

That’s right, love and compassion. But the truth is, when, you call someone out, and this is what I’ve learned about myself in that moment, have the courage and the care to hold them up after. So not,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (34:34)

You need to know how much they can hear and how much you can be.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (34:37)

 

Her lifeline to me was, I have a course that I’m doing by myself in two weeks, which is like her own workshop. I haven’t sold any tickets, like it’s not online yet and I need help designing the course and you’re going to help me do it. And there’s that moment of yes, right? Like take the clock down, take out the batteries. This was saying yes to myself or helping myself. So I just said yes.

 

But I said I can’t work over than an hour, I don’t have any, like I had nothing and she said just go for it. So that was a turning point. I looked at my life and I’m like, what is serving me and what is sabotaging me? And what was serving me was the story of unbroken and ununlovable because I got support, people were behind me, but was it really serving me? No.

 

It would keep me stuck. So I changed my story and in that I went, okay, well what do I need? So I went from 15 therapists down to two and I got one new one and I stayed with an old one and she was really pushing me to go into my pain. You have been running from pain your whole life through drinking, through partying, through clothes, through food, like through busyness, through performance. Like these were all my band aids. And when you’ve lost them all, it becomes

 

very discomf, like the discomfort in that is life changing.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (36:04)

Do you ever think this accident needed to happen? ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (36:07)

Yes,

 

yes, yes of course it did and if it wasn’t that it would be something else and I think that’s the beautiful thing about the universe is it gives us exactly what we need to wake up and that’s why we call it the awake academy because it was my awakening and if I look back my life I was getting lots of these stones thrown at me I just wasn’t willing to listen yeah I feel like life just then it gets louder

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (36:19)

Yeah.

 

Yep, and the stones get a little bit more… Bigger? A little bit bigger, I guess.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (36:40)

Was your face like that? Do you see yours?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (36:42)

I do and I guess just by the virtue of being older and I, but I mean I’ve had some oh shit moments. mean in 1999 I developed alopecia totalis. I lost all of my hair. I was completely bald. I was the height of my corporate powers and I’m wearing a bandana and a corporate suit and it’s like who the fuck am I now?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (37:10)

Yeah

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (37:11)

But I managed to get headhunted into a GM role in that state. I validated to myself that I could still function, I still had worth. I recognized that I could talk about my plight and talk to children in the schoolyard because children with alopecia in the schoolyard is a pretty tough place to be because you get bullied and teased and taunted. And a bit like you, Tess, of…

 

Okay, if I put some purpose behind what I’m experiencing and use that to help others, then that is going to help me through. it’s exactly the same. Yeah. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (37:55)

exactly same pain to purpose.

 

I think the learning point for me was the fight of the cost of fighting the reality I was in like as in trying to downplay it or ignore it or just trying to like I was like a duck trying to swim with it. ⁓ That was more painful than dealing with it. I just couldn’t see it at the time and learning that neuroscience behind how my brain

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (38:14)

Yep.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (38:24)

was I could rewire my brain at any time and I started doing Dr Joe Dispenza meditations morning, noon and night and I was just obsessed with trying to rewire my brain and trying to calm it down because it was just in everything was a threat.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (38:43)

Yeah heightened anxiety. So let’s delve into ⁓ this mental fitness bit. What’s the difference between pure grit and toughness that drove you to push through? mean is grit and toughness the same thing?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (38:46)

Literally.

 

I would say so. mean, they’re pretty loaded words, grit and toughness. I think we overplay resilience to be pushed through, get up, keep going. I think resilience has a fragility to it where you can sit with it and you learn to process it and you rewire your story and you get help and that is resilience.

 

If we turn that into, you’re so tough, you just get up and go, that’s when it becomes almost like a badge of honor. We’ve overdone it.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (39:39)

Yeah.

 

Yeah. And, and we use that line as a badge of honor. That’s that’s the madness of it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (39:46)

Yeah, and I think that’s where mental fitness gets a bit clouded or positive psychology and well-being or is that you have to push through, develop grit, become resilient. That’s not what it is. It’s understanding the truth of what’s going on within, the root cause, because as you know, emotional pain is one of the biggest causes of stress, injury.

 

disease, like dis-ease in your body, because the body would rather feel physical pain than emotional pain. And we’re very good at going to the gym, working on our bodies, looking great. But where have we put in mental fitness where we can start to use grit as just getting up and going for a walk instead of going for a run? that, you know, there, there’s that stuff. That is the type of language

 

that I love challenging people on. Not in combat, but just what are you associating grit with?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (40:52)

Yeah, that’s interesting. So I know personally resilience, and you’ve touched on it, but resilience can tip into denial. can become your enemy. How do you now define not taking no for an answer in a healthy way without losing that strength of character that is you?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (41:16)

Yeah, it’s funny, my husband said in his speech that Tess doesn’t take no for an answer, she sees it as a roundabout.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (41:28)

It’s got a softer landing than just not techno for an hour.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (41:32)

Yeah, and I think like the person that I needed to say no to, to be perfectly honest, was myself. And it wasn’t, and maybe that’s the roundabout theory in real life is like pushing through grit, like force. Like I started to apply that mindset. So the mindset that I knew of high performance woman getting shit done, ticking all the right boxes to healing.

 

because your brain can just brings you back to what you’ve always known. So I was trying to do it all, trying to go to every appointment. So was burning myself out in healing. So when I learned what true self love was and what mental fitness and emotional fitness was, was actually saying, no, not now to myself. Like you don’t need to do it all. You need to learn to sit in your pain and discomfort. And then I became aware of that.

 

So that’s when the roundabout came in and it’s like, well, you can’t do all of it, but what’s the something? Like, what would be different about today if you just actually took care of your soul? And that to me was having gentler mornings, not rushing it. And that day is how I rebuilt my life.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (42:52)

Nah, there we go, because it’s going to ask you because I’ve visited Burnout on the podcast on a number of conversations over the last two years and had a terrific conversation, which if anybody listening hasn’t already listened to it with Shanna Kennedy, who was a high performance coach and then burnt out. The difference in this conversation.

 

⁓ is you more than burnt out, you actually broke you, what you, you physically broke. And that’s the, that’s the different bit. So could we get practical at this point in the conversation and for the, for the power of women community for, for a woman navigating a health set back, a career disruption, an identity shift that comes from something.

 

not going to plan and the wheels falling off. What are the non-negotiables in rebuilding that toolkit?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (43:55)

Okay, Di. So, first of all, I realised that everything comes from your intentions. So not your expectations, your intentions of who you are and how you want to show up in the world. Now, I knew I wasn’t going to be healthy, strong, all of those words didn’t exist for me. It was, I just want to be sunshine. So I woke up every day and I just made sure I watched the sunrise, every day.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (43:58)

I realized.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (44:23)

What would sunshine do? Sunshine can weather all storms, it radiates from within and it just feels good to be around. So I wanted to feel good from within. So if I started there, my day actually became, what can I do to keep my sunshine? Well, I needed to rest, I needed to look after myself. So I would say to everyone, start your day with an intention and your energy will flow from that.

 

energetic beings and we need to be our brains need to tell our bodies what mindset we need that day. It’s not woo woo, it’s neuroscience now. So that would be my number one tip. The side note on that, I met my husband a year later from leaving hospital and the first words he said to me was I am sunshine. ⁓

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (45:12)

And because you had become somebody people wanted to be around.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (45:16)

Right. And normally I would have just put my head down and walked away. And yeah, a year later from that day, we were engaged. We got married. We had a baby and having that intent really changed my life. Then I would, and this is something I’ve incorporated because I am entering into perimenopause and I do need to be really conscious of how I feel my body and your brain and your body will fuel on what you feed it. And that includes negative self-talk is as important.

 

to become aware of and to close down as it is for my morning coffee.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (45:49)

Yeah, it’s true. I get it.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (45:51)

So I have a big glass of water with some cracked sea salt to rehydrate my body. And when I do that, I’m drinking it saying, today’s gonna be a great day, show me how good it’s gonna get. And I just have this quiet solitude in my moment. Now, if you’re already doing that, I highly recommend scraping your tongue first thing and cleaning your teeth before you have a drink of water, because then you’re not drinking back down the toxins. That was a game changer.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (46:19)

Yeah, there you go. Not everybody has a tongue scraper in their bathroom, but they should.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (46:26)

Yeah.

 

We just had Dr. Stacey Sims on our podcast, A Wake Up Call, and she introduced me to a protein coffee. I fasted a lot to help my body heal. And now I’m entering into a season in my life. really need it’s about sustained energy and sustained wellbeing. me. Protein coffee. So you want to have, we don’t want to be in survival mode from the moment we wake up. So fasting works against our hormones.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (46:44)

about a protein coffee that’s

 

Yeah,

 

because that’s fight or flight. Fight or flight? Yeah, cortisol.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (46:59)

can’t wake up with an egg. ⁓ I like to eat

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (47:04)

I meet my egg at about 11 a.m.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (47:08)

I just make a coffee and put two scoops of protein in, mix it up and it is delicious and I have really noticed a difference in my energy throughout the day because of

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (47:18)

Yeah, because you’ve kept yourself at a better level. Yeah. But it’s protein start.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (47:23)

Yeah,

 

scheduling breaks. So I look at a lot. I used to look at my diary and say, OK, what needs my attention today? And now I look at it. Where can I build in breaks today? Where am I resting and recovering? Because burnout is a classic. You’re climbing a mountain. You don’t come down again. You just climb the other ones. You’re constantly on peak state. And we we think of that as like maybe a project or a moment in time. But really, if we start looking at that in our day.

 

you start to think, okay, well, how can I build in five minutes here, 90 seconds there, a sunshine break over lunch with no tech, closing my eyes, and start to become aware of what your body and your mind are saying to you. And in those moments of rest, you’re really giving your body time to just close down, decompress, and then you come back with more energy, more clarity, more focus, and at the end of the day,

 

You’re not absolutely late.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (48:22)

Fucked up. So true. None of these are hard to do. They’re all free. Yeah.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (48:31)

They are all free. just need the reminder that this stuff works. I feel like it’s like, it’s so easy to say someone take this pill and it will work. then you.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (48:43)

But all that’s doing, none of that’s addressing the reason you needed the pill. That’s why I hate that approach.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (48:49)

Yeah, but ⁓ we did create a Peel Lane and I actually because all of us are experiencing brain fog.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (48:57)

Both

 

of you might be, yeah, in the M word.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:01)

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So we worked with a chemist actually, and it’s called wake up. So it’s for those days where you really need to be on focus. That aside, what is so important for me now is I know that emotions last in your body for 90 seconds. Anything other than that. it’s energy in motion is emotion. Anything other than that 90 seconds is the story you wrap around it. So for example,

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (49:09)

Yep.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:29)

email or a phone call comes through and you feel that rage you don’t deal with it you pick up your phone and or you talk to a colleague or someone else and you start raging about it how dare this person you start blaming shaming you start the self-doubt and the chatter comes in

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (49:46)

The

 

second starts getting bigger and bigger. ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (49:50)

Now it’s stored now it’s part of your memory now whenever that person sends or messages you your body instantly goes into fight-or-flight Now in the previous days we could just get up and run because it’s a saber-toothed tiger But you can’t do that when you’re making dinner. It’s ask you for the 18th time what’s for dinner and not offer to help Whatever that looks like whatever that rage moment looks like for you So this is a non-negotiable for me is when I feel triggered

 

and it could be sadness, could be anger, could be even happiness is an emotional trigger, is to sit in it and breathe through it. And there’s a breath called the physiological sigh, which is two breaths in through your nose, like short and long, and then a really slow exhale through the nose. And that puts your body from out of fight or flight into your parasympathetic nervous system and calms you down instantly. And it is my absolute superpower and that is emotional.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (50:48)

Same. I learned that some time ago and I can completely change. And I’ll give you a real life example of that when I had my heart episode at New Year’s Day and I had to go in for an MRI and they said, your heart rate’s too high, we’re gonna have to give you a drug to bring it down. I said, don’t, I’ll do it through breath. And they said, no, we’ll need to give you a drug. I said, give me two minutes.

 

just give me two minutes and I had to really push back and in two minutes it was down below 50. They said, how did you do that? I said, breathing. Don’t give me the drug. So it absolutely worked.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (51:31)

Isn’t that amazing, Di, that you have the awareness to do that, but then you burnt yourself out and ended up…

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (51:38)

⁓ I know, know, yeah, deeply intelligent and deeply flawed, both things can be right.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (51:45)

I think that’s what I’ve learned in this is having logical awareness of things is not the same as being in practice.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (51:53)

No it’s not. And I hear I listen to your story and I listen to other people’s story and then I go and work my ass off seven days a week and repeat it all over again. Why would

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:02)

Why?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (52:06)

That’s probably what I haven’t answered yet. think it’s ambition, but it might be more than that. No.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:08)

Yeah.

 

Mine was my self-worth. It should be love.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (52:15)

Yeah, well

 

those two things, ambition and self-worth, are wrapped together in my world and I’m sure they are in many of our listeners’ worlds too. So, we’re pulling that apart.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (52:31)

So that, just having the awareness of that dies like the biggest part. It’s like asking myself every day, I doing this because I need to feel loved? Because I’m not getting it from within and having the awareness is, then you say no to jobs that don’t light you up, that you’re doing it for.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (52:49)

Yeah. Why? Yeah. So Tess, can I ask you, are you stronger now than you were before the accident?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (53:01)

I’m softer, some would say I’m just as strong, but I’ve turned that strength into a gentle strength. And that’s been the biggest gift.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (53:18)

And that’s emotional to face into. Yeah it And you probably need to teach me that because the tough gritty facade is our armour.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (53:30)

Yeah, and at what cost does that serve us or you? You know what? Anyone listening? And I know that sustained well-being because now I teach it and I’ve taught it to thousands of people and I watch it with Lane Beechley like she won a world title, two world titles in a state of love and freedom. It’s clear, it’s disciplined, it’s not

 

That level of strength doesn’t make you weak. But the other level of strength which is pushing you is like over questioning, pushing through, comparison, the what ifs, the I should, the could, the would.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (54:13)

I

 

need to get on the couch, seriously, I seriously need to take a dead-hunt myself.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (54:17)

And

 

they’re two totally different operating models. when you, if sustained mental fitness, sustained wellbeing is having those cracks warts and all, and just knowing that you are enough, just as you are, and that no amount of financial money will ever prove that too. So for what?

 

Because when you’re on your ass in your parents bedroom with no money, no car, no home, nothing, and you have to learn to love yourself just as you are, you just become softer.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (54:58)

Yeah, yeah, well Tess, that’s a very, very vulnerable conversation and I thank you for being prepared to share that. I’m going to ask you a couple of rapid fire questions as we come to a close today.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (55:16)

Di, can I just close before you go into the wrap-up? The women listening and whether you’re a parent or not and I just want you to relate to this story. We had a lady who was a very high corporate achiever just like me but you know she I think she had three children and she did our course called On Your Streets and it was a one day live or we’ve got it online through the Awake Academy. Yeah. And

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (55:19)

Yeah, sure.

 

the academy.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (55:45)

We follow up with people a month later because we don’t want to just be a fry pan. you know when you walk, you don’t come to us and walk on hot coals and you’re liberated from life. It’s real grit, but with tool hits. And I saw her a month later and I said, how are going? She’s like, really good. And I’m working through some stuff and I’m just trying to be a more present mom. And that’s great. Like, you know, that for her, that was what she had realized she had left behind was her presence with her family and loved ones.

 

And that to me was a big wake up call. So I’m like, what is success? Like when you are too busy being busy, you miss the joy and the micro moments and the glimmers. And they’re the things that light you up that that’s what living is. It’s not just going on a holiday every few months. It really is the micro moments every day. And I was fortunate enough to see his beautiful soul another month later. So two months have passed and she gave me the biggest hug.

 

And she said to me, think I’ve found it. And I said, what is it? And she said, my kids said that I’m happier.

 

They said, what have you done, mum? You’re so much happier. You’re there with us. You’re fun, mum. And she was identified as being dictator, mum, because she was tired. And that to me, when we talk about pain to purpose, that is my why. Because I know you can still be powerful, but present and gentle and kind. Like you can still be all those things.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (57:16)

And I think there’s a simple question in that and look in the mirror and say, I enjoying life? I think it’s as simple as that. Okay, yeah. fire. Rapid fire, here we go. So one belief about success you no longer subscribe to.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (57:23)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

That money buys happiness and because of that output would equal worth so that you have to be doing more to being worthy and then then you get more money and then you’ll be happy.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (57:50)

A red flag high performers should never ignore.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (57:56)

chronic exhaustion marked as busyness.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (57:59)

Yes, and the strongest version of you looks like…

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:08)

Sunshine?

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (58:09)

Nah, there we go. Sunshine.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:12)

Yeah,

 

just energetic, magnetic, calm, present. Of course I have my wobbles, I am no, by no means perfect, ask my kids. But I think it’s just I have, yeah, grounded sense of who I am and the love I have for myself now, what’s and all.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (58:30)

Yeah, beautiful. Tess, thank you again for sharing. I’m going to put the links to the Awake Academy into the show notes. And will that take them through to a toolkit page as well, if they click onto that?

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (58:47)

Yeah, please do. We’ve got a seven day self care, which you can do for free. We’ve got a soul map. If you have no idea where to begin, that’s a good place to start. It’ll tell you where you know who you are and where you need to go. Or we’ve got monthly coaching with the awake collective because people don’t want to do this stuff alone. Or if you’re really up for it, bring us into your business and let Lane and I show you how you can have sustained well-being and happy, healthy people.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (59:16)

Yeah, beautiful ⁓

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (59:18)

Can

 

I credit you for something? I just want to honour you for holding space in this emotion that has come up for me today. You too are going through your own challenges and the story resonates back and perhaps that’s why I’ve been so raw and open and honest and you’ve asked such beautiful questions that have given me the gift of reflection. And I know for all the women out there that listen to your podcast and men,

 

is that we’re all looking to find a better way through and an easier way. And thank you for that gift, for allowing me to explore that alongside you as you explore your trauma and pain as well, because there is a better way.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (1:00:02)

Now you’ve made me emotional. Thank you, Tess. That’s beautiful. I’ve spent 30 years in the executive search space interviewing people and learning their stories. I’ve spent two years interviewing on the power of women, and I have learned more about myself in those two years than I learned in the previous 30. So you are spot on.

 

So to Tessa’s point, there are going to be people within your network who would really benefit from listening to a conversation like this. And it might bring up the uncomfortable and it might bring up the emotion, but you know what? It takes that to actually have that inflection point and really face into what’s not working. that simple question that I said, you

 

Are you enjoying life? And if the answer is, if you hesitate, then you’ve got to ask yourself why.

 

TESS BROUWER [Guest] (1:01:06)

Yeah, we’re all just humans walking each other home.

 

DI GILLETT [Host] (1:01:10)

That’s exactly right. Thank you Tess. Until next time.

 

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

00:38 Tess’s Reflection on Power and Self-Trust

02:23 Personal Story: From Ski Accident to Medical Crisis

04:21 The Emotional Impact of Trauma and Recovery

05:09 The Moment of Realization and Acceptance

07:24 The Role of Identity in Healing

09:50 Medical Journey and Surprising Diagnoses

12:22 The Power of Support and Connection

16:28 Rehabilitation and Rebuilding Life

20:17 The Shift from Self-criticism to Self-love

24:27 Finding Purpose in Adversity

28:10 Moving from Breakdown to Rebuild

43:55 Practical Tools for Mental Fitness

50:48 Managing Emotions and Breathing Techniques

54:43 Redefining Strength and Success

58:47 Resources and Support for Healing

 

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Contact Di

 

Find Tess at:

Website http://awakeacademy.com.au/

Seven Day Self-Care Program  https://awakeacademy.com/self-care

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/tess-brouwer-7128aa54/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tesscbrouwer/?hl=en

 

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From Setback To Comeback

From Setback To Comeback

What happens when the drive that makes you great becomes the force that brings you undone?

Life coach, bestselling author and keynote speaker Shannah Kennedy joins me, Di Gillett on the Power Of Women Podcast to explore the thin line between ambition and burnout, and why recovery, identity and self-awareness are now critical skills for high-performing women.

From managing elite athletes to living at full throttle, Shannah’s story is a reminder that setbacks can be the start of your greatest comeback. If you’re willing to do the inner work.

 

In this episode, you’ll hear:

Why “Who are you without your job?” is the most confronting (and necessary) question you can ask.

How to rebuild your identity beyond titles and achievements.

The difference between ambition and overachievement.

Why women in midlife face “the perfect storm” — and how to plan your way through it.

Daily rituals for resilience: mindfulness, breathwork and boundaries.

 

Shannah said:

“Setbacks are inevitable.”

“The line between ambition and breakdown is when you stop listening to your body.”

“Treat yourself like a high-performing human because that’s what you are.”

 

💥 New episodes drop every Monday to power your week.

📖 Read the full transcript of this conversation here:

SHANNAH KENNEDY (00:02)

Well the first thing is who are you without your job? And if you can’t answer that, it’s pretty confronting. ⁓

 

DI GILLETT – Host (00:09)

We’ve had a setback and setbacks are inevitable. They come in all forms. It could be we’ve been made redundant, our marriage or relationship has fallen over. We’ve had a health episode that’s knocked us sideways that we didn’t see coming or there’s been a loss of somebody in our world.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (00:29)

So you need to do the work on yourself first and when you have a big curve ball, if you’ve gone through a divorce or a redundancy, you have fallen flat on your bottom and you really need to do the work. And so all of a sudden the achievement junkie is so shocked at what just happened that they come to people like me and say, okay, teach me.

 

we go into, you know, what are your values? Let’s build the human now from the ground up so that you can jump back on and go and get another great job or enter another relationship or move forward with your health. We need to reset yourself. So where are the boundaries? What are the goals? What are the habits that are non-negotiable for you now moving forward that really serve your own set of values? And then you need to say yes to the world.

 

The line between ambition and breakdown is when you stop listening to your body. The question is never why me, but more who will I become because of this? A really important question to be asking ourselves in change. Women in midlife are facing the perfect storm. Without a plan, it can break you, and with a plan, it can make you.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (01:57)

I’m Di Gillett and welcome back to the POWER OF WOMEN podcast. What I love about this platform is the opportunity to showcase and celebrate the strength, resilience and achievement of women from all walks of life. And we talk resilience, reinvention and the moments that don’t make the headlines but in fact should.

 

So the conversation today is a really important one and I know this is going to resonate with so many of you listening because today we’re going to explore how to turn setbacks into comebacks. And joining me to discuss this and how we approach it is one of Australia’s most respected life coaches, a bestselling author, and we’ve got a couple of the books on the table with us today, keynote speaker,

 

and mentor to athletes, CEOs and high performers. Shannah Kennedy, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (02:57)

Thank you for having me. It’s beautiful to be here.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (03:00)

Shannah, before we start, I’d like to get into a little bit of your origin story because I think you’ve had your own setback that really framed what your comeback would be. Could we start there? Because you had a high-flying career as a sports manager and somewhere along the line you hit the wall. What happened?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (03:24)

I certainly did. I don’t know if any of the listeners out there have married their job before, but that’s what I did. ⁓ I was in my 20s. I had the most incredible job. was the full Jerry Maguire job. You know, there was athletes. I was working for a wonderful brand. My job was to buy and sell the athletes, to do all the sponsorship deals.

 

Sport is always on the weekend, so great. Every weekend was full, flying around watching sporting events, but never took any time off. So basically, full-time marriage into the job, loved it. Had a lot of friends because I had lot of free passes to places. I had a lot of free things to give away and a lot of money to give away. So my life was really superficial.

 

although I didn’t see that at the time, it was just full excitement. Sort of like if you are an elite athlete, things aren’t quite normal. And anyway, I just did not see the warning signs. I did not want to see the warning signs. So, you know, when your body starts to talk to you and you get the headache, you get the sore bones, you’ve got to force yourself to go to work a little bit.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (04:38)

Explain it away though, that’s the trouble.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (04:41)

Yeah,

 

you do. You create great stories to support yourself and your sabotaging lifestyle. I was also trying to do triathlons myself. I was trying to have relationships and everything was just crumbling around me until one day I just couldn’t get up. I actually could not get through the concrete. And I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and that was 30 years ago.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (05:08)

Yeah, and we don’t talk about that a lot, but it was something that so many people hit through HSC studies and those sorts of things. So how long did that…

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (05:21)

That

 

was full adrenal burnout. That was a year in bed, a year. A year in bed. Not able to drive, can’t concentrate, can’t turn the lights on, it hurts my eyes. Couldn’t turn the radio on or the TV on because it would hurt my ears. Everything was just fried. Think of everything being fried. Then the huge realisation was, who am I without my job? There was no emails. There was no phone calls.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (05:26)

Yeah

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (05:49)

There was nothing. There was silence. The company were great. They held my job. But it was a horrible realization that I actually hadn’t created a person who went to work. I just created my title. So I was actually lying there thinking of our elite athletes and what happens to them when they go from hero to zero, sometimes overnight, you know, when they do their ACL or they get dropped from the team or.

 

Who is Dusty Martin without Richmond Football Club?

 

DI GILLETT – Host (06:20)

Nobody

 

seems to care about the person, they care about what impact it has on them as a fan.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (06:26)

Exactly. But we need to be a person first who plays football for that team or goes to that job and then gets off that ride and is still a full person. So it was a real gift in the end because I actually in that time really thought about all of the athletes that I had worked with. I saw all of the destruction post sport, which nobody cared about back then because it was the early 2000s.

 

Well-being wasn’t a word, mental health was not a word. It was go hard or go home. So I actually got myself a coach ⁓ to coach me back to unlearn all of my bad habits, to unlearn the I need to use hard work as a badge of honour and relearn a much more sustainable way.

 

of being a high performer without the burnout and having a life as well. So it’s a very exciting time, even though very challenging, incredibly painful chronic fatigue. Your bones are like broken. It feels like you have had the biggest night on the town.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (07:27)

What does it feel like?

 

without the fun.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (07:34)

without any fun. It’s like the worst hangover but also your bones feel like they’ve been punched so it feels bruised so it’s extremely painful. I don’t think people talk about that very much. It’s not just I’m a bit tired, So that ended up in a big depression because I actually didn’t know who I was.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (07:49)

No, it’s more than that.

 

You lost your identity.

 

Ouch.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (07:59)

Yeah, at 30. At 30. That’s early. That’s early to have a crisis like that.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (08:05)

Indeed it

 

  1. And that overachievement junkie pursuit which you would have had, and you would have been surrounded by people with that because they were high performers and killer instincts and strive to win and wins the only thing. And you would have had it in your DNA because you were competitive sporting wise in your own right.

 

So how much of it was about being an overachievement junkie and how often do you see that in the people that you coach now?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (08:42)

Well, I still see it in myself. I think it is. And I think if you are a driven woman and you have that achievement, you know, I’m not happy unless I’m achieving sort of mentality, it doesn’t go away, but you can make a healthier version of it.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (09:00)

That was going to be my question because what makes you great is what brings you undone. So how do you balance that?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (09:06)

There’s

 

a balancing act. So now my achievement is not, did I sell 10,000 books yesterday? Although that’s very nice. It is, what did you do to care for the asset which is yourself? So that she doesn’t burn out, so that she does have balance. Did you set a boundary? Did you do your breath work? Did you do the three M’s to start your day, which is make my bed, move my body, mindfully breathe? Do the pacing stuff.

 

Did I do three breaths every time I wash my hands today? That paces me through the day so I don’t burn.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (09:43)

You’re that, you’re doing that every day. And I did that before we started recording this morning. So I did the three, four, five breathing just to centre.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (09:45)

Yeah,

 

center. So that’s athlete mentality. I mean we watch it all the time. We’ve just watched the grand final. We see people breathing. We see Olympians just preparing themselves with breath. Breath is your first skill to go and really master. So I see it as the Gatorade stations in the marathon of the day. So every time you do that conscious breathing you ⁓ just give yourself a moment to ground yourself.

 

That’s like stopping at the Gatorade station before you carry on for the next 5k’s of the day. I teach a lot of my clients, especially women, how to pace themselves because they are trying to do everything all at the same time.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (10:40)

And particularly midlife women because that sandwich generation piece of you’re managing all ends of the spectrum. Yes. Coming up behind you, those who’ve gone before you.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (10:51)

Yes, and we’re in a crisis at the moment because women have never been in this position before. We’re actually at the top of our careers in our mid-50s. We’ve really got to partner. We’ve developed incredible businesses. Unfortunately, we had kids later, so our kids are still at home. They haven’t gone. And our parents are still with us because they’re living longer. And at the same time, our body is changing.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (11:12)

Incinerate

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (11:19)

It’s a perfect storm and it hasn’t been there in any other generation. Because the generations before, the grandparents didn’t live as long. The kids moved out at 20. Now they’re staying home. ⁓ And by the time you’re in menopause, your career was sort of finished. So we’re in really uncharted waters. Yeah, it’s an interesting But I think it’s exciting.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (11:41)

So with that in mind, are the majority of your female clients midlife women?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (11:49)

No, I have women, men, I have retiring men, retiring women in their 60s, 70s. I have young people in their 20s starting. And everyone wants a plan.

 

They haven’t got a plan. So if you haven’t got a plan, it’s like driving around the roundabout. When you have a plan, it’s like, we know which direction we’re driving on the GPS. So even if it’s a short-term plan, the brain is really comfortable as soon as it knows where it’s going. So we do need a plan, which we plan in pencil, because there’s always change. We need to get comfortable with change. ⁓ And when you do have that plan in pencil, you can enjoy the ride.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (12:31)

That point about pencil is a fascinating one because I still keep a day book as a running sheet of what I’ve got to do. ⁓ And I love writing. I have a creative style of writing that comes from my fashion design background and I physically like writing. And for years I always used a beautiful Lamy pencil because I could

 

change it and it’s only in recent years that I’ve actually moved into writing with a rollable pen and I wonder whether there’s a conscious switch in going from pencil can change it to feeling clear enough that I’m going to put it down in pen and stick with it.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (13:18)

think pen is amazing. I think pencil is for long term. So if we’re thinking about your 10 year older version of yourself, which is your role model, of course, is you, your best friend in 10 years time. You put that age to it, so I’m 55, so I’d be 65. So I would be planning in pencil because I don’t know what curve ball is coming my way. But I’m planning in pencil on, you know, what are the life experiences that I want.

 

What experiences do I want with my husband, with my kids, with my friends, all different ones? I might be planning in how I want to feel. More agile, stronger. Okay, what can I do today? Where do I want to be financially so I know what I need to do today and why I’m not going to go to the sale and buy some more towels because we’ve got enough towels just because I really like them or more stationary because I love stationary. I’m serving her.

 

I am serving her, I’m working for her, that’s my life plan. So I know why I make decisions today is for her because I don’t feel like going for a walk when it’s cold and windy here in Melbourne, but I’ll get up and go for her because she’s saying thank you, keep moving, keep moving or get to yoga, I want you to be agile. So I have this trainer in my brain who is to me

 

DI GILLETT – Host (14:37)

speaks to you in third

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (14:40)

from my life plan because this is how I want to feel and this is what I want to experience and this is what I want to learn.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (14:50)

And I’m thinking what you said, and I think it was after turning 60 that I probably went from pencil to rollable pen. I wonder whether there was something in that.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (15:02)

Well, deep confidence comes when we know which way we’re going and how we want to feel and what we want to experience. That’s confidence. Because you’re living your plan, not somebody else’s plan.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (15:14)

I think I just got analysed on the

 

So you talked about your own setback being a gift and it was a turning point for you. So for those listening who are in the middle of a hiccup or a setback, how can they start to see the hidden opportunities in what feels like a crisis?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (15:45)

It always feels like a crisis. It’s like you just fell off your bike. It’s a crisis. It hurts. It’s horrible. You sit there. Your confidence is completely stripped and you’re sitting in the gutter and it’s a horrible place to be. And the first thing we need to do is breathe. The first thing you do to a child is catch your breath.

 

We’re not going to talk about it yet. We’re going to catch your breath. Ground yourself. Okay, now we’re going to slowly stand up and then we’re going to make a plan and we’re going to jump back on the bike. It’s the same. We need to go through a beautiful process and not just react. We need to ground ourselves first. We need to think about how that felt.

 

What am I learning from this? And the learning might not come till later. Certainly in the middle of chronic fatigue, I did not think it was a gift. But it opened doors for me that I would never have seen. It’s also allowed me, or I have chosen to see it as the gift to live wide awake and with intention. So mindfulness, breath work, all of those soft skills, which I did not possess before I had to bring in, and they became the guide.

 

Like taste the coffee. I’m so happy I have a bed with a doona. You know, I’ve got a car that works. Let’s go down to the little things. And so I actually feel like I’ve had a very grateful life because I’ve focused on the small things.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (17:12)

What would be the difference do you think had you not hit the wall if you’d kept going?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (17:17)

Well, it isn’t until you lose everything.

 

friends, your so-called friends, your identity, your body, that you appreciate small things. So I think if I hadn’t I would still be the A-type overachieving junkie who probably would have blown up her marriage and not felt anything and not been present for her children or maybe not pivoted the right way and just reacted all the way along like a bouncy ball and probably got to midlife ready for a massive crisis.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (17:49)

And that’s probably what we see with a lot of these relationships and characters who blow up. You know, it’s the guy going and getting the sports car. It’s the marriage breaking up at 50 when you think you should just be settling in and starting to plan post-children and enjoy yourself. It’s all of those things coming to that crux.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (18:15)

It’s

 

always the people who haven’t done any work on themselves. So they have been addicted to achievement the whole way through. They have maybe got to partner or had a great career, but everything around them.

 

is incredibly unstable. again, they put all of their eggs into their title and didn’t build the human. And that’s why we need a life plan, which brings in a career plan and a financial plan and a health plan, but it’s actually your life. How do you want it to unfold? Get in the driver’s seat and out of the passenger seat. So a lot of them, I think, have just been maybe just too one-eyed and it’s just life is not like that.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (18:57)

I think that’s right. Well coming up, what to do when setbacks hit and how to manage your comeback. If you’re loving the POWER OF WOMEN podcasts, be sure to jump onto our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode.

 

Shannah, before we went to a break, you made a really interesting point. You said we put all of our energy into our title and not into us as a human. How prevalent is that in the marketplace?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (19:34)

enormous because that’s where a lot of women value themselves and their confidence. They don’t value the small things, they only value the title. And when the title is taken away, what’s left? We need to have built the human being who gets on the ride, whether that be at Macquarie Bank or

 

the business that they’ve built, it doesn’t matter what it is, but you need to be able to step off and be the human. It’s just a ride. It’s just a ride in the playground, your job.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (20:06)

So how do you take somebody on that journey to draw the distinction? Because if I’m an achievement junkie and my title of partner has been the pinnacle of my career, I’m there, it defines me. How do you encourage me to think of me as an individual in the bigger picture?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (20:27)

Well, the first thing is who are you without your job? And if you can’t answer that, it’s pretty confronting. So that’s when they say, okay, I’m open to working on it now, because they can’t answer that one question. And it’s a really important question is to know who you are and what’s important to you outside of your job. And what are you doing to feed that consciously, consciously?

 

DI GILLETT – Host (20:52)

So we’ve had a setback and setbacks are inevitable. They come in all forms. It could be we’ve been made redundant, our marriage or relationship has fallen over. We’ve had a health episode that’s knocked us sideways that we didn’t see coming or there’s been a loss of somebody in our world. What’s the non-negotiables in a recovery plan to come back from one of those setbacks?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (21:20)

Well, that’s why I wrote Plan B. Because it was about navigating and embracing change. And after 20 years of coaching people through change, I thought, I’m just going to put it into a simple format for people. For what happens in your brain is we get the curve ball, it comes, it’s lemons, it hurts, it’s falling off your bike, it’s the redundancy, it’s, ⁓ you know, I had a cancer diagnosis, ⁓ my partner passed away, or my…

 

mother passed away or it just can be a range of things you know a business partner blindsided you. The first thing that we have to do is just respond and we can’t respond until we’ve taken a breath. We’ve acknowledged all of our feelings. We’ve created a narrative that works for us to tell other people when other people corner us what happened with your marriage you know.

 

You want to shut that down pretty quickly because that goes into a whole rabbit hole. So you have to have your elevator pitch ready. ⁓ And then you just respond with grace. You just respond with grace. Then you need to recover. So we need to take the time to recover. We need to think about,

 

What are the self-care things that I need to do to just refuel my tank, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? We need to take a little time, a little gap, instead of just jumping straight back on the bike, a little gap to…

 

DI GILLETT – Host (22:48)

Achievement

 

junkies. So how do you encourage me not to go? I’m just going to get back into it and keep busy.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (22:55)

So you need to do the work on yourself first and when you have a big curveball, if you’ve gone through a divorce or a redundancy, you have fallen flat on your bottom and you really need to do the work. And so all of a sudden the achievement junkie is so shocked at what just happened that they come to people like me and say, okay, teach me.

 

So that’s where we start. And once we’ve done a bit of recovery and we’ve had a bit of time off and we’ve just settled ourselves, we go into, know, what are your values? Let’s build the human now from the ground up so that you can jump back on and go and get another great job or enter another relationship or…

 

move forward with your health, ⁓ we need to reset yourself. So where are the boundaries? What are the goals? What are the habits that are non-negotiable for you now moving forward that really serve your own set of values? And then you need to say yes to the world. Yes, let’s radiate again. Let’s come, jump on the bike. Let’s take off again and have another go. But there’s quite a process to get there. And the people that don’t go through those stages,

 

⁓ always fall again and again and again.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (24:15)

And is that what your personal coach took you through when you hit the wall? And how long do you think the reset took?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (24:19)

Mmm, 100%.

 

I would say at least two years. And then I studied coaching to open my own business to coach athletes into retirement. That was before anyone had heard of a life coach. So think I was one of the first qualified ones in Melbourne 25 years ago. And it started with athletes, then it went into business athletes, I call them, and then life athletes.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (24:51)

And I get that I come from a family of elite athletes and my brother was an elite athlete and he tragically lost his wife Amy Gillett when the Australian cycling team was struck by a car in Germany. Why I tell the story in this setting is Simon was still thinking like an elite athlete in his approach of how he was going to manage his grief. And I can remember him.

 

going hard, keeping busy. He was flying here, he was flying there, he wasn’t acknowledging what had happened. And then out of the blue, he got the hiccups. And I don’t mean an occasional hiccup, I mean 24-7. You can’t eat, you can’t drink, you can’t sleep. The hiccupping was constant. And after about five days, he was broken. Absolutely.

 

broken, his body took over. So it’s, isn’t it interesting as to how if you don’t take the decision, the decision like your chronic fatigue for you.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (25:51)

His body took up.

 

Yeah, your body will take over.

 

Absolutely. And the grief cycle is huge. And it can last forever. Forever. doesn’t go away. So I put that in the book as well. we don’t get taught all of this at school. No. We don’t get taught anything at school except get a great ATAR and go to university. And that’s it. Full stop.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (26:24)

Do you

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (26:28)

Yes, 100%. I think they are bringing wellbeing in now, is great. It’s a small introduction. But a lot of these life skills, if you’re not a reader or I suppose now it’s much easier listening to podcasts, you can learn these skills. That was never around before. Nobody talked about all of this before. Grief was shoved under the carpet. Don’t go near that person. ⁓

 

the book was written in COVID, it came to me at two in the morning, like a Jerry Maguire moment, and I just got up and went, know the exact pathway.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (27:06)

And

 

so Plan B was your first… Number six. But the context.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (27:08)

book. No, that was number six.

 

The

 

context of it. Yeah, exactly.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (27:16)

Brilliant. So for a high performer listening to this podcast, what are some really practical strategies for them to prevent the next crash and to build a more sustainable comeback?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (27:28)

Beautiful. think especially for women who are listening to this, is, you know, we are these incredible human beings. We really are.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (27:41)

If

 

we don’t say so ourselves.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (27:43)

Yeah,

 

and I’m just going to shout that from the rooftop. We are incredible human beings and we need to protect the ascent. We need to put kid gloves around ourselves a little bit and listen to the body because the body will take over otherwise and things happen to us. So we do need to think about filling the oxygen tank before the mask. We do need to think about if I’m going to be a high performer like an athlete, I need to have high performance recovery.

 

And athletes do. They have incredible recovery protocol. We need to as well. And making that your part of your career is what is my recovery. You know, for me, it’s massage, acupuncture, Chinese herbs. It’s constant. It’s been going for 25 years with no burnout. Raising the family, looking after the parents, writing books, traveling the country, speaking on stages and coaching people.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (28:39)

No

 

burner.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (28:42)

None. My recovery is so important to me. So important. I will go and have a 20 minute sleep in the middle of the day.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (28:50)

because you can

 

read when you need to do it and you can respond rather than…

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (28:54)

You know, back-to-back presentations, for example, I will book a boardroom and go and lie down with my legs up the wall for half an hour. Yeah, there you go. treat yourself like a high-performing human because you are one. And high-performing humans and athletes really focus on recovery, just as much as performance. And that could be your rest protocol, your sleep protocol. Your exercise protocol. know, the way you move, the way you hydrate, the way you fuel your body. ⁓

 

treat it like an elite athlete because that’s what you are. You are managing so many different areas in life and everybody needs you.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (29:32)

Yeah, that’s great advice. Thank you. What’s the most significant challenge women are facing today and what do we need to do about it?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (29:41)

I think there’s two. One is we’re in the crisis of ⁓ managing so many different areas of life all at the same time. Menopause, adult children, aging parents, top of our career. It’s enormous. I think it’s a huge load that women have never had before. ⁓ The other one is comparisonitis. I think social media.

 

It actually is destroying a lot of women’s confidence where they don’t feel seen, they don’t feel heard. They’re comparing themselves to someone else’s shopfront, which might not be like that behind the scenes. And it’s really affecting their confidence. And so they are feeling a little invisible maybe because they’re distracted. It’s like if you’re in a running race and you’re running perfectly well and you start looking sideways.

 

What happens to your run? You lose momentum. So every time we’re stuck in comparisonitis we’re losing momentum. And I think it’s a huge problem at the moment, especially while we’re in the whole storm of managing everything else.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (30:51)

That’s such an important word. I’ve heard it said recently and it’s relatively new to my vocab, but that is such an incredibly powerful one.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (31:04)

Comparisonitis

 

DI GILLETT – Host (31:07)

hard to say.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (31:08)

Very hard to say, but think of it as an athlete. If an athlete is comparing themselves to somebody else, they’re always going to feel.

 

If they’re focused on themselves and their 10 year plan, they’re going to be excited, motivated, pumped and looking for new people to bring in to surround themselves with the right people. The minute we’re looking sideways we lose all momentum. So I think social media you have to have a boundary on.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (31:40)

So if I think of that as a term, I think that’s probably a term that derailed me in my 30s and didn’t really stand into my own power until in my 40s because I had a couple of powerful friends around me and I was living vicariously through them, not being true to myself. So I think that is a…

 

The existed long before social media.

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (32:12)

⁓ it did, it did. And that’s why people need a plan. If you have your own vision board up and your own words up on the mirror that really work for you and you are solely committed to enjoying your life, not someone else’s, your life, how can I make today great for myself? What can I be grateful for? What’s my challenge today? Can I breathe today? Did I move my body today? Did I do all the things to serve this asset?

 

Life’s pretty exciting.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (32:43)

Yeah, brilliant. Shannah, thank you I am going to start putting more emphasis on me as the asset rather than me being the last down the line. Good idea. think that’s a must. How can somebody find you if they’re looking to engage yourself?

 

SHANNAH KENNEDY (33:00)

Amazing. Well, that can go to my website, shannahkennedy.com. There’s lots of free resources, free screensavers to keep you on track, free downloadable vision board kits so that you can start your own vision board. Fantastic. All on the website. yes, I do one-on-one coaching. I do workshops for corporates.

 

DI GILLETT – Host (33:13)

and a number of these books that you

 

busy and you’re not burning out. Well done, you. Fantastic. Well, I think that is such ⁓ a truckload of messages that Shannah has delivered today. But I think if we do take the approach of treat ourselves as the asset, rather than the inevitable that can keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing, and we’re not breakable, because that would be wrong. are in fact likely to burn out, to

 

to exhaust ourselves, to run ourselves down, and nobody, including ourselves, are going to benefit from that. And I know I have been guilty of it. I’m sure you have been guilty of it. So share this episode with a friend to make sure we treat ourselves as the asset we deserve. Until next time.

Connect with Di:

Connect with Di on LinkedIn

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Contact Di

 

Find Shannah at:

Website https://shannahkennedy.com/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannah-kennedy-8a898b1/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/shannahkennedy/

 

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The Transformative Power of Wellness, Leadership & Permission to Pause

The Transformative Power of Wellness, Leadership & Permission to Pause

In this episode of the Power Of Women Podcast, host Di Gillett speaks with Lyndall Mitchell, the trailblazer who has shaped Australia’s wellness landscape for nearly three decades. From a 14-year-old doing work experience at Camp Eden to founding Aurora Spa and the award-winning ASPAR product line, Lyndall has dedicated her career to helping others refuel and reset.

She shares why wellness is not indulgence but a necessity, the warning signs of burnout, and the simple rituals that sustain leaders, parents, and entrepreneurs alike. This is a conversation about resilience, reinvention, and the power of small, consistent actions.

 

You’ll Hear:

How a teenage work experience led to a life-long calling in wellness

The vision behind Aurora Spa and why urban retreats were groundbreaking in Australia

The four foundations of wellness: sleep, movement, nutrition, and digital detox

Why women struggle to give themselves “permission to pause” without guilt

Practical rituals to build resilience and prevent burnout

Why Lyndall believes wellness should be part of healthcare, not just self-care.

 

Lyndall said:

It’s the small things you do every day that make the greatest difference.”

“Wellness is not something we master. It’s a practice we continually evolve.”

“Permission to pause isn’t a luxury, it’s the fuel for leadership, longevity and life.”

💥 New episodes drop every Monday to power your week.

Your T📖 Read the full transcript of this conversation here:

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (00:02)

You’re not alone. A lot of people are doing this and our sleep is what is the dishwasher for our brain. This is where we get our energy, this is where we refuel our tank but we refuel our brain. But we also refuel our self-regulation to be able to make great decisions. And so in the morning if you’ve had a terrible sleep and interrupted sleep, chances are you’re not going to eat well. You probably won’t move your body and you’ll probably spend more money. Now there’s evidence around that.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (00:29)

You’re crazy.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (00:30)

So how do we be the protector of our sleep? Because there’s plenty of sleep robbers out there and our phones can be one of those. I’m Lyndall Mitchell and my values are health, family and economic security which ⁓ really gives me that freedom of choice later in life and my big belief is that it’s the small things in life that you do consistently that make the greatest change.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (00:56)

I’m Di Gillett and welcome to the Power of Women podcast. We’re a platform that celebrates and showcases the strength, resilience and achievement of women from all walks of life. And this is an invitation to join the Power of Women community and follow us on every game changing, unfiltered conversation with these amazing women.

 

Today, I have the privilege to showcase the story of a woman who is the pioneer of the wellness sector in Australia. And she has lived and breathed it for more than three decades. Lyndall Mitchell is the founder of Aurora Spa, Australia’s first award-winning urban spa group. She’s also a coach, a speaker, author, and entrepreneur who has built a wellness ecosystem

 

designed to give her clients something many of us struggle to find, permission to pause. Her story is one of vision and an unwavering devotion to her clients, a devotion that sees her employ and empower nearly 50 women in the organization. And she guides executives through transformational change and inspires companies and individuals across Australia and globally.

 

So today in our conversation, we’re going to explore what it means to refuel your emotional and physical petrol tank. Why ignoring the signs of burnout comes at such a cost and how wellness is a necessity for leadership, life and longevity. Lyndall Mitchell, welcome to the Power of Women podcast.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (02:41)

Thank you, Di. It’s so wonderful to be here with your community.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (02:45)

Thank

 

you. Lindle, you’ve been immersed in the wellness space for, as I said, almost three decades, or it might even be tipping over three decades, but since you were actually 14. Correct. So can you take us back to that experience of Camp Eden when you work experience from the neighbouring property and what you saw that really resonated and drew you into this industry?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (03:15)

I grew up next door to Australia’s first health retreat and at the age of 14 had the opportunity to do work experience there. And I already knew the staff because mum and I had a little banana stall down on the side of the road where you put money in the jar for the banana. And so we got to know the staff that worked at Australia’s first health retreat being Camp Eden. And so when I was 14, I did go there and do work experience.

 

And it really opened my eyes to these passionate, incredibly healthy humans that loved what they did. And you know, I saw my dad as a farmer, working every day, working hard. And whilst I think he enjoyed what he did, to see people that were this radiant health and passion with the joy they were getting out of working with guests, that’s what really inspired me. So that planted the seed when I was 14.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (04:06)

Yeah.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (04:12)

Went back to living on the farm, had my own pet kangaroo.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (04:15)

Ah, so did I. We could share a story. did. Wow. And a pet emu.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (04:20)

Okay, I need to know about that. Yeah, incredible, you know, ⁓ opportunity growing up. was such a beautiful 140 acres of tropical rain. The hint of like, you know, bananas, avocados, pawpaws were there as well. know, mum and dad lived the wellness lifestyle. And so that seed that was planted, I then wanted to explore that straight after I finished school.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (04:32)

Beautiful

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (04:46)

So I went back when I was 18 and I spent the next five years working at Eden and really working my way up. Started in the lowest paying office position and I just said yes to every opportunity that came my way. Before you know it, I’m program coordinator, which means you have 50 guests coming in and you’re the host of that program. It’s a big deal. Yeah, and you take them through and you know, it’s a really privileged position because you get to see the guests coming in in all sorts of chaos.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (05:06)

EW

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (05:15)

you know, having had burnt the candle at both ends, physically, mentally, emotionally, you know, out of whack. And, you know, no matter what state of chaos they’re in, what I saw was wellness always gave them back that equilibrium. And so I would work 100 hours in one week when you’re there so you see every, you witness every moment.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (05:36)

doesn’t sound like equally room at your end.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (05:38)

Correct. That’s why it’s not forever. And then you have a week off. A week on, week off. Okay. So you’re there for the entire guest experience and for me that solidified my belief in wellness because I just saw that it worked so well and you know 35 years ago it was considered a bit woo woo or a bit left to feel a bit hippie but now there’s enough evidence. Thankfully science has caught up and there’s enough evidence to say there is value in wellness and

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (05:41)

Yeah

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (06:07)

how it can bring you back from that state of chaos and really help you to move forward. the five years I had immersing myself in that incredible environment was just a very steep learning curve for me. You know, certainly challenged my work ethic, you know, in really working that hard. And I guess it then planted the next seed for me was we cocoon our guests in this incredible experience. And, you know, they come out feeling

 

amazing and this sense of equilibrium and reset and clarity. But what next? Where do they go to from here? And if you think back sort of your 30 years ago,

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (06:42)

Mmm

 

Well I know where it sits because you just go back and start the chaos journey all over again.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (06:53)

Yeah, and that’s what I witnessed. And so that didn’t sit that comfortably with me because for me wellness is not one week of the year. is a way of life. But what are we missing here? Because guests are leaving in this amazing place but then they’re actually not able to integrate this into their world. And when I looked into it, there just weren’t the resources available for them.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (07:03)

Yeah

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (07:20)

No, it wasn’t there at that point in time and it wasn’t easy. So I really understood that and that planted the next seed for me which was, imagine if I could create an urban retreat where those guests could continue on with what they’ve learned and actually thrive rather than fall off the wagon. And so, yeah, 28 years ago, I moved to Melbourne. 50 % of our guests were Melbourne, 50 % Sydney.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (07:40)

Yeah.

 

Which is that saying something about the stress catheters? ⁓

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (07:55)

and came up with the concept that I would start Aurora Spa and it was going to be that urban destination to support our guests for the long term.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (08:06)

Is

 

anybody else offering that in the marketplace at that point in time?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (08:10)

No spas in Australia. ⁓

 

plenty in Europe and plenty in the US but none in Australia. So what year? 1997.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (08:17)

Where are we, Linda? We’re

 

97 and no spas in Australia. Both are.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (08:22)

So there was rapid growth after that,

 

but yeah, there were no spas at that point in time. it was a concept that really needed some education around it as well. People were like, are you building bathtubs with bubbles? Like what is a spa?

 

I was very clear on the vision I wanted to create. didn’t want to be the destination retreat because I fully believe and still believe that there’s such value in going away once a year to really invest in your health in a retreat where you do have that health environment. You’re immersed in it. And I wanted to be the reset. I wanted to be that little reset that you come back to.

 

I knew that I wanted to create this environment that guests could come to us for 60 minutes or for a whole day. And from that, they can get that refuel to continue on and keep achieving all the things they want to achieve in their life. that was how we commenced. And then in time, did travel. I actually did a trip where I did 60 spa six weeks, which…

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (09:26)

Yeah.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (09:37)

It was ⁓ incredible to see the culture of spa in so many different countries. Yes, two. ⁓ in, my most favourite is Thermae Vals in Switzerland. So that’s an iconic spa that really has stood the test of time. Peter Zumther is a well-known architect for creating that masterpiece. And I think it’s just such a

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (09:44)

Any stand-out?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (10:06)

A statement of less is more. It’s profound bathing and that really struck me back then. Came in a little later in my life with the new bath house. That’s really where that seed was planted. And then Mayamo Resort in Arizona and this is where we had beautiful spa ⁓ treatment rooms and areas built into these incredible red cliffs that were the colour of Uluru.

 

And you know the reception, the waiting area had a red earth floor that was blessed by native Indians every year and there was just so much ethos and philosophy and culture behind it and that’s what really stood out. You know it was the ones that were very authentic to what they did and they stayed true to that.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (10:48)

Beautiful.

 

So as a female entrepreneur, you scaled your organisation now and employ what you said 49 women in the organisation?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (11:03)

Yeah, so at Aurora there’s 49. Two. Two me. We have two. They’re always outnumbered in, you know, I’ve worked with females all my career really with a sprinkling.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (11:19)

So is the industry globally female centric in the staffing?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (11:25)

Yes, yes. Generally, you know, if you look at the beauty therapist and massage therapists, they’re predominantly female careers. Generally, if you go into your sort of physio or remedial massage, there’s more males in there as well. And thankfully, there’s more males taking on beauty therapy as well. Yeah. But still not to the numbers that there will be for the females, you know, in taking on those careers. So I think

 

the caregiving role. The females do very well with that.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (11:55)

Ask

 

what the guys do in your organisation. do do massage.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (11:57)

And

 

we have had some bathhouse attendants as well. Okay. You know, where they’re, you know, educating our guests on the journey. But no, they’re in their massage, so deep tissue massage.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (12:10)

So can you take us behind the scenes of what it was like in the early days of being a first, because that’s uncharted territory. ⁓ as you suggested, you hadn’t really travelled at that point in time. So there wasn’t someone to look at in your immediate front yard to reference. How unnerving was that?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (12:36)

I was 23 so I think I was a little naive as well.

 

Maybe, and you know this little sheltered Queenslander that had lived on a farm with a kangaroo was sort of landed in the middle of St Kilda. And St Kilda was eclectic, you know, if we’re talking 97.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (12:59)

Very eclectic and bit grungy. wasn’t gentrified in any way then.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (13:03)

So to open

 

a… I had lots of interesting surprises and things that happened from, you know, people dressed up as fairies in the front yard to people wanting all of… All sorts of massage that we did not… I was like really shocked by, I guess, the wildness of St Kilda at that point in time and I…

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (13:15)

Every other day? Yes!

 

Yeah right.

 

I could

 

choose it.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (13:29)

because there was a really beautiful 1870s Italianate mansion and that was, it had such a soul and the space was incredible, opposite Katani Gardens. So it was the perfect location for what I wanted to do because a lot of it was exercise as well. And so that sort of lended itself really well. I guess I have a strength of perseverance when you do a strength test, you know, it always comes out that my perseverance is very high.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (13:39)

Yes

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (13:58)

So I guess my perseverance to the vision I had in mind was really clear for me. I guess I had plenty of people that said this will never work. Melbourne, this will never work in Melbourne. Who are you to come to Melbourne? You don’t know anyone. had someone say to me, how do you think you can start a business?

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (14:18)

And you’re not on a soapbox yelling out, you’re a quiet, softly spoken individual. That could be misconstrued.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (14:26)

Yes, well I think for me it was always that every person that walks in the door needs to have an experience beyond their expectation because then they are our ambassadors and that’s what we work on because 1997 I can tell you there wasn’t much social media around. no. know it was about and still to this day I do think that’s one of our best forms of marketing is it’s

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (14:49)

So it’s

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (14:57)

and Totti Goldsmith did something on ⁓ Foxtel, which was great, and Totti knew me from Camp Eden, so that was really lovely and that helped and then got on the, Totti then went on the Good Morning Show with Bert Newton.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (15:02)

helpful.

 

Because you would have had plenty of famous names through Camp Eden de-stressing.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (15:18)

I mean literally the day she went on Burt Newton, it was like my second day of opening and the phone rang and I was like, I only had one line, you know, picking up the phone, hello? I very much was at the call front with it all and got to sort of live it. But I guess my biggest thing has always been protecting the guest experience and ensuring that experience is.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (15:25)

You

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (15:43)

the best it possibly can be and you still to this day which we’ll get to in Sorrento. We run day retreats and I’m always looking for big impact you know maximum impact in the minimum amount of minutes because when I moved here from Melbourne you know we had the guests for six days so a lot of time to get to know them and to be able to navigate their personal journey when I came to Melbourne I them for 60 minutes.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (16:10)

Yeah, it’s not so revealing.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (16:12)

It needed to be expressed and I needed to really create impactful moments, which is why I started hand mixing products and created a product company. Not because I thought I want to sell products because I made these products, I use them on the guests because they were at a higher intensity and the therapy of them was higher. And then a guest asked if he could buy some and I was like, that’s strange.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (16:32)

We love your espoir.

 

Thank you.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (16:38)

But it did take me putting it into a Ziploc bag and giving it to him to think I should get more professional. I always am led by what the guests need and for me that sort of, the penny dropped that day because we had the destination retreat that you go to annually. We have the monthly top up at the spa but we have the daily self care with the product.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (16:43)

Big

 

That’s

 

the loop. So has more of your inspiration come from feedback from the guests or looking out to the marketplace externally? Yeah.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (17:12)

I’d say it’s a balance ⁓

 

because, you know, I always want to be guided like Aurora Spa and Bathhouse in Sorrento now is very much what the market’s ready for now. And when we were in St Kilda, it was very much about really landing spa in Australia and what the market are ready for and how we educate the market on the benefit of spa and taking it out of pamper and indulgence.

 

and into wellness and thriving health. And so I feel like it’s always listening to the guest as the priority. then I don’t follow trends, but I like to look at evidence as to how we can enhance our guest’s health. And doing that in the shortest amount of time is where I sort of

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (18:00)

So from 97 to 2025, what’s been the growth in the industry?

 

Yeah

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (18:08)

I

 

mean if we look at bath houses in the last year, you know, we’ve gone from really, we had the Hepburn as a bath house and Peninsular Hot Springs, but now we would have well over 200 in the industry.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (18:24)

since COVID. Yes.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (18:26)

Yes, so there’s a lot of bathhouses. know within Spa when I started within eight years there were 600 spas. So it’s a rapid growth and that’s fantastic but the market are ready for it. That’s what they’re saying and that’s really wonderful.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (18:38)

That’s incredible.

 

Experiential is also high on the consumer shopping list.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (18:51)

Yeah,

 

I people are looking for meaningful moments and when they experience the therapy of spa and the therapy of bath house, people walk out of the bath house and they just say, what just happened in there? I feel very different. And we’ve got, you know, 23 year old male who is a successful business owner and his mates go want to go fishing and he brings them into the bath house.

 

He goes, mate, you need to come in and do this. You’ll feel different. And then they come in every single time when they’re in Sorrento and have their bathing experience. And other people say that their house in Sorrento is now a retreat because they bathe before they hop to their house. So that sort of gets them in the mode of switching off their nervous system. Because I guess the thing I’ve seen a lot of over the years is people’s nervous system being quite

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (19:31)

wow. ⁓

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (19:47)

I’d it.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (19:51)

So on that point alone, do you think there’s a direct correlation in the growth of the industry and what you’re seeing and the rise of social media? I do. And handheld devices? I do.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (20:04)

Yes.

 

Look, we’ve always had tension in shoulders and in our body from looking at computer screens and our posture and all of those things, but it’s accentuated now. And the stress on the physical, and then we look at the mental and the emotional, and it’s impacting people’s sleep, it’s impacting how they switch off, their mood. Anxiety is a big one that we see a lot of, especially in the younger generation.

 

There’s been a spa and bath houses are needed now more than ever. And we’re really proud that Aurora, we’ve always been technology free and there’s not many places that we go now without our devices. And so if you can remove that device and then just allow the nervous system to be rebuilt and nourished, that’s what we really aim to provide our guests with that experience.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (21:01)

Anybody resist that? Plenty. They don’t want to leave it at door. ⁓

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (21:04)

Yeah, we’ve had people.

 

plants

 

and hiding them in robes. ⁓

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (21:11)

I

 

can remember that in my hinterland experiences of people getting gifts sent part way through the week, which would be blocks of chocolate ⁓ and another phone. I was with a very devious group, clearly, but that really struck me because they were all the things that they knew they weren’t going to have for a week and they were getting them sent in as a midpoint because they thought they’d need them.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (21:40)

Well, one of my jobs at Eden was to do the pick up from the airport and that was an entertaining job.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (21:47)

You

 

can pick the helpers or can share out the words.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (21:49)

They’re

 

sculling coffee while they’re eating chips and some chocolate just trying to get their…

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (21:54)

And they’ll be the ones who would have been throwing up detoxing the next day.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (21:59)

These

 

days was the day that some people didn’t make it out of bed and that was when I decided to myself that I would never drink coffee. Really? And I haven’t ever. Mainly because I saw the extreme of what it could do and sure it was in overdrive but yeah I thought I never want to have that.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (22:09)

re-

 

Isn’t that an interesting imprint?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (22:23)

I’ve seen the effects of that and know, Tuesdays we would have people that couldn’t get out of it, physically could not get out of bed and just vomited all day and you know, very unwell from detoxing just from coffee and you know, other people detox from stress or drugs or cigarettes. But coffee was a big one that stuck with me. So I’m a chai drinker and I’ve just, I love the smell of coffee, but I’m not going to.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (22:48)

Yeah, there you go. So when we hit COVID, you were still operating in St Kilda at that time with Aurora. What happened? I mean, we know everything in service industry came to a grinding halt.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (22:58)

Yes.

 

Yeah, that was a really challenging time for us and a lot of other businesses. We moved our product company closer to our home because we just didn’t know how do we do that? How do we send out orders? know, what do we do? And before COVID, nine months before we shut, I had made the decision we weren’t going to renew our lease in St Kilda. So,

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (23:16)

What was Nick?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (23:32)

I, ⁓ had a window of time for our guests to use their vouchers and to come in and see Aurora. And that kept getting cut shorter and shorter every lockdown because we had, ⁓ you know, we had an end, we had a in the sand that, you know, that we had to think incredibly stressful. Yeah. So I, at that point didn’t have the next step organized. really it’s

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (23:49)

I felt stressful for you.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (24:00)

I’m on the radar at that point in time when I was in the throes of the COVID, so of that COVID shutdown. And so it was incredibly stressful. And I came to the point of thinking, if the next door doesn’t open, I’m okay with that. I sort of went, you know, we’ve given 25 years to the local community of being this place of retreat for our guests.

 

And you know, only if the opportunity is right will I continue on. So for me it was the point I sort of, I was peaceful with my decision around that and I was like, okay, we’ll just see how the next little bit unfolds because…

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (24:39)

You had a multifaceted business, you had a product offering that could have continued in its own right.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (24:45)

Which has, yeah. Yeah, so I knew that that was always there, but whether the retreat was going to continue on, it needed to be the right fit for us because operating in St Kilda did become more stressful as well, different owners to what it was and not in alignment with wellness, essentially. And so it became harder.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (25:06)

Which just varies in the front yard. Yeah. Maybe. And I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense at all.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (25:08)

You

 

And so, yeah, wasn’t until right near the very end of finishing up in St Kilda that the next opportunity presented itself. And I was only going to be taking that if it really worked. And it was the next evolution for Aurora. And bathing was a big part of it because my passion is the culture of European bathing.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (25:35)

I

 

was going to say, Switzerland was reverberating in the back of your mind.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (25:38)

Yes, it really

 

was because we had a lot of treatment rooms in St Kilda, we had 22 treatment areas which is a big space. In comparison to in Sorrento we have eight rooms, so even bigger with treatment rooms.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (25:48)

That’s just… It’s enormous.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (25:55)

But I felt that the market was now ready for the next evolution. And for me, know, the European culture of bathing, they get that it’s a therapy. In some of the European countries, it’s still a part of their healthcare system. get rebated by bathing. Imagine. That’s my legacy piece. That’s what we need to work on. For me, if there was a bathing as a bigger offering and we could design that space to really support where our guests are up to now.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (26:13)

work on. We do.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (26:23)

that was appealing. you know, I have always gone to Blair-Gowrie for summers and for switch-off time as well. So I really saw that part of the peninsula as a switch-off and I thought that would be an incredible coastal retreat. you know, the concept of a historic property always appeals to me as well. And so when the opportunity came up to purpose build a facility at the Continental, which was double the size of Aurora, and

 

the full bathing facility it was just like a okay universe I do keep going yeah this is the next chapter

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (26:59)

Wow. Can I come back to that point you said about the legacy piece and that some parts of the world actually subsidise that as part of healthcare? Do you have the opportunity or is it in your purview to create the opportunity to open up a discussion around that with decision makers?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (27:24)

Yes, I think that there’s some great work being done in the Australian spa industry now. For example, next month there’s a spa summit up at Gwingana where all the spa operators from around Australia and New Zealand gather and there’s international speakers and it’s a summit. That’s where these type of discussions are taking place and so it’s absolutely on the

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (27:47)

Walking up the hill when it’s in numbers. Correct.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (27:50)

And we would all love it to be a part of the healthcare system and it’s gaining enough evidence now, you know, for it to be, for that to be a discussion.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (28:01)

I’m

 

there’s plenty of politicians who go through those doors too. And your doors. Yeah.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (28:05)

Exactly. Yes.

 

So no, it’s on the radar.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (28:09)

Yeah, interesting. Well, coming up, let’s explore why wellness on that thread isn’t a luxury and the warning signs that tell us when the tank’s running empty. If you’re loving the Power of Women podcast, be sure to jump onto our YouTube channel and hit that subscribe button to ensure you never miss an episode.

 

So, Lindell, as part of your wellness ecosystem that you’ve created, which is the spa, the wellness retreats, and coaching services, and you’re also a published author, so there’s a few strings to your bow. But I know you often speak about wellness as refuelling the petrol tank. Why do you think so many of us, and particularly women, ignore the warning lights until burnout actually hits us?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (29:01)

Yes, it’s a really good question and it’s one that I see with the guests walking in our doors daily that we tend to get to this point and the analogy I like to give is, know, when you’re driving around in your car and you are in a petrol car, for example, and the light is on that your petrol is low, you know, are you just cruising around in the city thinking, I am so relaxed right now?

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (29:30)

No

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (29:32)

I’m chilling out. Life is good. No, you’re not. You’re going, okay, what’s my plan if it happens at this intersection or if it happens at the next intersection, what am I going to do? How am I going to do that? Where’s my wallet? Have I got the da da da da? You’re going through every scenario in your brain because your petrol tank has gone down so low, you go into overreactive mode, which takes up a lot of thought, process and anxiety as well.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (29:58)

And life’s the same.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (30:00)

Personal energy tank is exactly the same. It’s about when we get down to that red light. That’s when the anxiety kicks in That’s when we’re feeling over reactive. That’s when we’re not making our best decisions That’s when we’re clouded in our thinking we’re feeling quite foggy You know, we’re trying to figure out the plan, but we can’t see it But we’re almost forcing it all because there’s nothing in the tank to bounce off, right? And it’s about how do we keep that tank in the orange and ideally in the green?

 

you know, what does it look like? What do we need to put in to refuel our tank to get it up to the orange and the green? And I always look with my coaching clients, always look at how they eat, sleep, move and switch off. If you think of them as a little circle, you’ve got quadrants there. And we think about all those quadrants and what they’re doing for our wellness. And the one I’d probably start on is sleep.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (30:54)

And is that, there’s a commonality in this, I’m guessing.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (30:57)

Well, these four are your foundations of wellness. you know, the sleep and we talk about technology, you know, how many people are sleeping with their phone next to their bed and then using their phone as their alarm clock. Guilty. Yeah. Guilty. You’re not alone. A lot of people are doing this.

 

Our sleep is what is the dishwasher for our brain. This is where we get our energy. This is where we refuel our tank, but we refuel our brain. But we also refuel our self-regulation to be able to make great decisions. And so in the morning, if you’ve had a terrible sleep and interrupted sleep, chances are you’re not going to eat well. You probably won’t move your body and you’ll probably spend more money. Now there’s evidence around that. So how do we be the protector of our sleep? Because there’s plenty of sleep robbers out there.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (31:42)

You’re

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (31:47)

and our phones can be one of those.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (31:50)

women that you’re working with and coaching and even in the the corporate settings, if you were to ask how many hours sleep is the average person getting, is there an average?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (32:01)

It’s the quality of the sleep that’s in. Some people can be in bed for seven hours or eight hours, but the quality isn’t there. Yeah. So therefore the sleep isn’t great. And I did a corporate talk last week where you have a hundred people raise your hand if you sleep with your phone next to your bed, 90 % of the audience.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (32:03)

Okay, so time is…

 

I’m

 

glad I’m not the exception.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (32:23)

If there’s some small wins and I’m always about the low-hanging fruit, what are we doing, the small things that help to create greater change?

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (32:33)

Is beeping of the phone that’s the issue or is it the radiation or vibration?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (32:41)

We know that we need an hour of no screen time in order to give our brains the time they need to decompress from the day. so, know, the first is getting off the phone an hour before bed minimum. We know the most restorative time for our sleep is between 10pm and 2am. And so that means you’re getting to bed, hopefully around 9am, and you’re off your device at 8pm. And most people find that difficult. So we start at

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (33:07)

Behind the eight ball.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (33:08)

Yeah. Then you’ve got your phone next to you and then what’s your alarm? It’s your phone. Okay, so you pick up your phone is the first thing you’re touching in the morning. Now do you just pick it up, turn your alarm off and put it down? Or do we go, ⁓ I might just check my emails or I might just check social media or I might just check the news. And this is about triggering our stress response.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (33:32)

straight into it.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (33:33)

Straight into it. So think of protecting your nervous system and being kind to yourself and whether that stress response is mild, medium or extreme. It’s having a negative impact on your health. It’s aging you prematurely. So if we just remove that device from the bedroom, then you have, you you’re the protector of your sleep and of that space for the quality and the quantity.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (33:48)

physically stiffens up our body.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (34:03)

That’s your benchmark to start with. So let’s get the foundations right and let’s remove those devices, get an old fashioned alarm clock so that you can just turn it off, the actual alarm without all the other things going on. you know, sleep is a big part of it and then, you know, how you eat, how you move and how you switch off are also very important and the switch off is what I obviously see a lot of in the spa where people do feel guilty and they’re still in that mindset of it’s selfish.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (34:32)

To be there. ⁓

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (34:34)

have

 

time out. And so that’s always an interesting one to talk about as well about our priorities and just the impact of your community, your work community, your family when you are refuelled versus when you’re empty.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (34:53)

That’s an interesting conversation, isn’t it? Because if you’re not refuelled, what you’re providing to family or workplace is clearly going to be compromised, yet you still feel guilty for taking the time out to pause.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (35:09)

Yes, and it eventually catches up through resentment and other emotions that are not great for our body or they cause inflammation in our body or they don’t help our relationships in any way. it always comes around and I dive into that with my coaching clients. But I see it in the spa as well. When we have our day retreats, our guests come at nine in the morning and leave at four in the afternoon. So we get a deeper dive.

 

into their challenges as well. And when someone’s done a day retreat for a whole day, you know, I say, give me one day, I’ll give you three in return. Because that’s what it feels like. We’re running a retreat next month, which is three days. So you give me three days, I’ll give you seven. You know, it’s about how do we intensify your ability to restore your nervous system.

 

Therefore restore equilibrium in your world for whatever that looks like to be achievers great But do it from a full tank where you’re going to be making fantastic decisions and seeing the best opportunities

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (36:15)

So is it frustrating when you see that guest come back at rock bottom next visit? Because I’m sure that happens and I’m sure not all of them take the messages on board and change their ways.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (36:31)

Yes,

 

look, coaching clients are a little different because you’re so invested in the journey and you’ve got, you’re accountable, they’re accountable to one person. So that’s very satisfying. And then the guests that go through the spa, it’s all about what level they’re going to have an impactful experience in. And, you know, I talk about the bath house as you can chit chat all your way, all the way through the bath house and have some hot cold, stop in the sauna, blah, blah, and then come out and go, hey, that was nice.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (37:00)

Mmm.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (37:02)

Or you can go to the bathhouse and you can be really present with yourself and really work on restorative breath for your nervous system and immerse yourself in every experience. And when your mind wanders, pull it back and actually, you know, practice wellness while you’re there and you’ll walk out and go, that was transformational. So, you know, it’s about where you want to land. You know, if you want that experience of feeling very different, it’s available.

 

if we’re open to it. And sometimes the guests might come to the bathhouse and it’s the very first time they’ve been to a bathhouse. So it takes a little moment to get into it and then in time, you know, we’ve had very emotional guests and guests that are very touched by the experience and that’s what we aim to get to.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (37:49)

Are males or females more accepting to do the latter and go in more mindful? ⁓

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (37:56)

⁓ Sometimes the males are dragged along.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (38:01)

Sounds like shopping!

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (38:04)

In

 

our marketing program, we might call them the reluctant husbands, but they’re generally the easiest ones to convert because they’re completely caught by surprise. And if I look at our regular repeat guests that are coming in weekly, the majority of those are male.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (38:07)

Yeah

 

that right?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (38:26)

Yeah, because I think that ⁓ males, from what I see, when we talk to males about their program of moving forward, they just commit to it. Whereas I think females find it harder to balance the priorities and the juggle and they do have probably

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (38:45)

the guilt as opposed to the guys are so the guys come back because it’s okay it’s like golf I can take all Wednesday or I can go to the spa

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (38:54)

of therapy.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (38:55)

Interesting. And they probably know how to make it tax deductible without you speaking to the government, us girls have probably not latched on to that yet.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (39:04)

Shut up!

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (39:06)

Isn’t that interesting though in the psyche? So in your coaching, are you coaching men and women? Yes. And do you find in that setting that women struggle more to give themselves permission than the men when you’re talking in a coaching session? Yeah.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (39:26)

Yes.

 

Yeah, really simply. coach a lot of female lawyers and that’s a high stress career. ⁓ And yeah, they sometimes find it very challenging, ⁓ predominantly male dominant industry as well. And so they find that really difficult to innately not stop proving themselves.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (39:54)

And they’re probably more inclined to take on board the emotion of the story that they might be representing too, I suspect, through a more empathic view of the world.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (40:03)

Yes.

 

Yeah. So I think it’s a greater challenge for them.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (40:08)

Hmm. Well, I mean, I’m asking a question that was kind of a rhetorical question, but I was hoping it might not be quite so black and white.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (40:19)

Sorry.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (40:21)

How

 

do you demonstrate or educate somebody that the permission to pause is okay?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (40:29)

I think people seek it out or find it when they’re ready and ⁓ from what I’ve seen over the years sometimes it’ll be someone buying a gift voucher for someone. You know as a gift of time out you know they see that someone’s working hard or he’s going through a particularly challenging time and they’ve reached out with a gift of care.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (40:56)

That’s

 

always been how I have landed at a retreat or a spa.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (41:01)

That’s interesting. Okay, so never booking yourself in.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (41:04)

never booked myself in. It’s always been through the route of it being a gift. ⁓ And I haven’t realised that until you have just said that.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (41:13)

That’s fascinating. Not unusual as well. a lot of people can be gifted that because generally the person gifting it to you has had this experience that they think you’re going to benefit from going back to them being our ambassadors. They’re ambassadors for change and they’re ambassadors for seeking you to have nourishment and nurturing.

 

And that’s how some people come to that experience. ⁓ others might try a day retreat with us, they might, a friend has told them about the bath house. But now wellness is very openly discussed, and it’s fantastic that people are going, let’s go bathing rather than go to the pub. Let’s do something that actually we feel better from.

 

rather than something that perhaps we don’t wake up feeling so great the next day. So there’s a lot more emphasis on that as well. I’ve got a daughter that’s 21 and ⁓ doesn’t love nightclubs, but she goes sauna cold plunging in a group environment for social wellness. And she goes to the bay when there’s big breathing cold plunge workout on down there as well. And they do that together. So this next generation, ⁓

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (42:24)

Fantastic.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (42:37)

a little wiser on the wellness side of it and they’re very embracing of it because there’s now the evidence behind it to show that it really worked.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (42:46)

And they’ve looked at our work-life balance flaws and said, don’t want to do what you’re doing.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (42:51)

Yes,

 

I think, know, globally things have shifted with COVID and ways of working have changed as well. you know, they’re really leading it in a new direction as well. ⁓ there is definitely that younger generation are very open to going to a spa and a bathhouse as social wellness or wellness for themselves as well. And then, you know, there’s the exhausted new moms and that sort of next generation of trying to balance.

 

the priorities of what they’ve got going on and I’ve been there. I know it’s tricky and that’s perhaps when you’re able to have more micro moments where you can have your 10 minute daily rituals where you don’t have to leave the house but you can still have those moments of pause and I think that’s where our product rituals come in that you can have, know, simply washing your hands with our hand wash.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (43:31)

Yes

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (43:48)

The essential oils are built to calm your nervous system.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (43:52)

Now I know why your body wash makes me feel so wonderful when I start my day with that in the shower. The grapefruit.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (43:58)

Is that the grapefruit? Yeah.

 

So that’s what I use in the morning. Yeah. I use the rosin aloe at night because it’s very calming. in the morning, that’s about kick-starting our nervous system, but also our thoughts and creating that clarity. And every morning when I use my grapefruit body cleanser, you know, I emulsify all over my body and then…

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (44:18)

Mmm.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (44:19)

three deep breaths. And then when you feel that, you know, overwhelming pressure coming throughout the day, you can hook yourself back to that feeling and almost smell that aroma because you were so present. So it’s about how do we bring more presence to what we’re already doing because we know the science is showing that by controlling our breath is the best way to reverse our stress response.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (44:42)

I have over subsequent time put in a three, four, five breathing reminder into my diary every morning so that I start at my desk in that manner. And it was interesting, I did an interview with somebody in the biohacking space and I’m still not quite sure where I sit on biohacking as long as it’s… ⁓

 

more along the lines of wellness than extremity. However, talking with somebody the other day and a breathing technique that I was aware of but had never done, which is the breathing in, fully exhausting the intake and then taking a further breath. I fall asleep. I fall asleep very quickly anyway, but I fall asleep immediately after doing three or four of those and I’m gone.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (45:36)

do it when you get into bed at night. Yeah. That’s the, mean, that’s a great way. I like to call it the bookends of your day. So how do you start your day and how do you finish your day? ⁓

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (45:43)

Yeah.

 

I’m not failing

 

quite as badly as I thought, Lindor. You’re doing well. You’re doing well. The body wash. You know what?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (45:50)

Yeah!

 

This wellness, the whole wellness thing is a practice. This is not something we master. This is something we continually evolve and we practice to get better at it. no one is an expert on mastering. There’s just different levels of knowledge. And for me, different amounts of people I see and what works and what doesn’t. you know, when I say to my guests go and meditate for 40 minutes, they look at me like, are you, are you for real? I don’t have 40 minutes.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (45:56)

Yeah

 

I can just hear that.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (46:24)

Over the years that building in these practices that are easy and portable are really important because during the day you don’t know what call you’re going to get or really what control you’ve got over your day. You think you’ve got a plan but that could change. How you start the day and how you finish the day generally is under your control. So I have three things in the morning and three things in the evening. So there are more bookends of the day.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (46:47)

So what’s your indulgence?

 

Not indulgences, their life practice.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (46:55)

Yeah, they’re just practices that really help me to just, you know, keep that equilibrium through the day or, you know, come back to it. So, number one, make my bed. Number two, mindful movement. And number three, mindful shower. Okay. my… Yeah. And then at the end of the day, it’s journaling because I want to get out what’s in my head onto paper.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (47:12)

⁓ I’m good. Yeah

 

Yeah, journaling is on my phone. Is that okay? Into my notes section. Better in a book.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (47:26)

Well the phone’s not going to be near your bed anymore, so you need to buy yourself a journal and a pen and put that down. better to write it down. So really getting that out on paper. ⁓ And then I like to do my breathing. And then I use my essential oils. So they’re in the form of a thermal balm, which is on the pressure points of my shoulders and my neck, or using Australian essential oils.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (47:55)

Rose

 

Fragrance

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (47:56)

Yeah, that’s actually camphor and peppermint, so it’s quite intense. And I use it on the back of my neck and down into my shoulders because it’s like a petrochemical-free tiger balm. You know, it’s that minimum type balm. And for me, it just stops my thoughts because it’s so intense.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (48:07)

Yes.

 

RELAX

 

And I know when I jump into bed what I do and I learnt this many, years ago when I developed an autoimmune condition and had alopecia totalis for four years and was totally bald. Another story. However, a practice that I learnt from that time that I have never let go is when I lie in bed at night, I go through from my toes through to my head.

 

and go through the mental let go in each point and you realise how much you’re lying there holding, holding on.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (48:52)

Yeah. You’re

 

doing your own yoga nidra. Yeah. And that’s fantastic. And we hold so much tension in our jaw, for example. And sometimes it’s not until you lie down in bed that you realize, I am so sore in my jaw. actually, I’m squinting my eyes because I’m feeling the pressure. those sorts of practices. for people that…

 

don’t know what a yoga nidri is. There’s plenty of great apps where you can insight time. There’s a free app and yoga nidri is on there as well. But the other thing you can do is just diaphragmatically breathe. Get the breath down to the belly. So when we’re lying in bed, that’s the best time to do it.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (49:26)

Yes.

 

Because it’s a straight line, you’re not folded up and seated.

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (49:36)

Yeah, so you’re just wanting to raise the belly and not chest breathe because when we’re under pressure we generally chest breathe and you know it’s that fight-or-flight sort of stress response. So we want to be you know really having these long inhalations but even longer exhalations so your body knows it’s safe and you’re really turning off that stress response and going into that rest and digest which is the perfect place to start for quality sleep.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (49:45)

Y O U F

 

So if I was to say what is the one point you would like the listeners to walk away from this conversation and recall, what would that be, Lindell?

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (50:17)

It’s the small things you do every day that make the greatest difference. I see so many guests who go for the one big thing, I’m going to run a marathon, I’m going to do something enormous and then a month in can’t sustain it. So be kind to yourself in the wellness practices that you bring in and bring in sustainable practices that you think you could be doing in three to six months time. And if you think you can be doing that in three to six months time,

 

well that’s probably a great practice to bring in. But just be kind and gentle to yourself, especially it’s an easy one to bring back to movement because you know so often if someone wants to get fit they start running five kilometres or ten kilometres and then they get an injury. Just walk around the block. It’s actually the habit that you’re building that is more important than the quantity you’re doing at the start. So you’re just building a habit of movement.

 

You’re not trying to run a marathon because actually in time you’ll build up your cardio and you’ll build up your tolerance for exercise But to start with you actually creating the habit and when we can create the habit we have more automation in our body We don’t have to think so much because we get decision fatigue throughout the day. So just the small things be kind and gentle to yourself

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (51:34)

Beautiful. So if somebody wants to find the spa, bathhouse, where

 

LYNDALL MITCHELL – AURORA SPA (51:40)

We are, there’s a website, auroraspar.com.au. Aurora Spa and Bathhouse is located in Sorrento at the Continental Hotel and the Aspar products are online as well.

 

DI GILLETT – HOST (51:53)

Beautiful. Yes. Thank you so much for joining me today, Lindle. It’s a reminder. I sit here and acknowledge everything you’re saying and reminding myself how many things I don’t do, but there’s a few things that I do do. So I’m going to challenge the listeners to do exactly the same thing. But the one thing that I am going to do, and I’m going to challenge anybody listening to do, is get an alarm clock and

 

get the phone out of the bedroom. So, job is done. Thank you. So, if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast. on all of the podcast platforms, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and we’ve got our own YouTube channel. Until next time.

 

If you’re loving the Power of Women podcast, hit that subscribe button and be sure that you never miss an episode. Until next time.

 

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Find Lyndall at:

Website https://auroraspa.com.au/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lyndallmitchell/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/explore/locations/947982/aurora-spa-bathhouse/?hl=en

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Dr Marina Christov | Depleted, Drained: How to Get Your Energy Back

Dr Marina Christov | Depleted, Drained: How to Get Your Energy Back

Is your energy depleted? Do your feel drained? What if the root of your exhaustion isn’t just in your schedule—but in your organs?

Di sits down with renowned Chinese Medicine practitioner Dr. Marina Christov, founder of The House of Life on the podcast to challenge the notion of why so many women are energetically depleted —and what your liver, kidneys, and nervous system are trying to tell you. With over 25 years of experience, Marina brings a rare blend of clinical wisdom, emotional insight, and unapologetic truth-telling to this deeply personal conversation.

Marina also shares her own story of rejection and resilience—from being dismissed for being “too personable” to building a thriving wellness practice grounded in compassion, feminine energy, and fierce intention.

 

In his episode, we explore:

  • Why so many women are energetically depleted—and what your liver, kidneys, and nervous system are trying to tell you
  • How emotions are stored in the body, and how Chinese medicine maps this connection
  • Why burnout, brain fog, and tension aren’t just physical—they’re symptoms of fragmentation
  • How self-understanding and energetic alignment can become your greatest tools for healing

 

New episodes drop every Monday to power your week.

Connect with Di:

Connect with Di on LinkedIn

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The Power Of Women Podcast Instagram

Contact Di

 

Find Dr. Marina Christov at:

Website https://houseoflife.com.au/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thehouseoflifeclinic/?hl=en

 

Where is your energy leaking—and what’s it trying to tell you?

Share in the comments.

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Ep.36 Amanda Balcombe | A Burnout Wake-Up Call

Ep.36 Amanda Balcombe | A Burnout Wake-Up Call

Burnout management strategies: Check-in with yourself, monitor your wellbeing with stress-tech and build in micro-breaks throughout your day.

This week on the Power Of Women podcast, a candid and revealing conversation with Amanda Balcombe about the crushing weight of burnout after work demands left her emotionally and physically drained. How the impacts of ‘hitting the wall’ saw her walk away from a career that no longer served her well-being. Amanda didn’t just stop at healing herself; she turned her experience into her own consulting practice, guiding other professionals in finding balance and fulfillment, helping them to avoid the burnout she endured.

Whether you’re experiencing burnout yourself or want to learn how to balance ambition with well-being, Amanda Balcombe’s story will inspire you to review your approach.